Chapter 16 #3
“I miss that, too. I miss hearing your voice and I liked those stories. I started thinking that it made me a baby and…I was taking everything the wrong way.” He unlocked the door and we went inside, where it looked emptier without my folding table and with the bare bookshelf.
Without any additional discussion, we walked into his bedroom and I lay down on the same side I had previously occupied.
He turned off the lights but I didn’t close my eyes.
I looked into the gray darkness, thinking about vision and all the things we didn’t let ourselves see.
“Molly?”
I turned toward his voice. “Yes?”
“Can I hold you again? Like we did before?”
“Yes,” I said, already moving. He met me halfway and pulled me into his arms.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can let you go,” he told me.
“You’re going to have to get over the idea that I’ll be cheated by that. I’ll come out the winner if we’re together.” Then I had an awful thought. “Wait, are you speaking figuratively about our relationship, or were you just talking about staying in bed and skipping work today?”
“I’m not talking about work.” I felt him breathe out against my hair. “I do need your help but I don’t want you to have to take over my life.”
“I’ll give you as much support as you need. If I start overstepping, you have to tell me. I’ll stop,” I promised. That was going to be hard. “I’ll try to stop. You know, I liked you before I knew anything about your vision. This isn’t because I want another project.”
“This?” Shane echoed. He pulled back and then bent to kiss my nose. “This?” He gently kissed my lips.
“That,” I agreed. I leaned up to kiss him back, but harder. Thank goodness for that minty gum because his tongue was soon in my mouth, tangling with mine. His hand slid from my back to my butt, settling there and then gripping to tug me closer.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
I was very, very sure. My fingers wove into his hair and directed him to kiss me more, but he didn’t keep only to my lips.
He kissed my neck and played with my ear, and while he did that, he touched me.
Soon, I was on my back so he could use both hands to sketch over my body, over his T-shirt (I had taken a few with me when I’d left before).
Then he pulled off the shirt and also my sweatpants.
I was glad, then, that I hadn’t bothered with a bra, because he nuzzled his cheek against my bare breasts.
He licked my nipple before suckling it in his mouth, and it was hard to breathe.
“Molly.”
“Yes?” I gasped.
“I want to turn on the light. I want to see you better,” he said. “Ok?”
I nodded and repeated the word “yes.” He flipped the switch on the lamp and then paused, looking down at me. I tried to arrange myself in a provocative way and I tried to smile, but it didn’t come off very well.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
“I want you to like what you see,” I answered. “I want you to want me.”
“Good golly. I do,” he told me. “I very much do.” He pulled off his clothes and I spotted how much he did, in the form of his very large and very stiff penis. Good golly.
“Did you watch that video?” I asked as he resumed his position beside me.
“Of you at the party? No. I didn’t want to do that to you.” He tossed my underwear into the corner and his eyes swept down my body. “You’re so beautiful.”
“Thank you.” I relaxed as his palm massaged my thigh. “If you didn’t watch it, then you didn’t hear me say that I’d never had sex before. You should probably know that now.”
“Do you want to?”
“Yes,” I said again. “Yes, I do, but maybe it makes a difference to you?”
“No, it doesn’t make a difference. But we’ll need these.” Shane reached into the drawer in the bedside table and in the glow of the lamp, I saw him take out several condoms. Maybe that meant we would do it more than once, and I was game for that.
“In the video, I had also said that I only gave one blow job, and it didn’t turn out very well,” I told him. That had ended with a trumpet spit valve opening over my head and then I had bitten down. Hard. “I want to try again.” And this time, I wouldn’t use my teeth.
“You should,” he immediately agreed, so I went for it.
First, I touched him, stroking over the smooth skin of his shaft and a little astonished about how hard he was beneath it.
I kissed his stomach, and those muscles contracted.
I kissed the tip of his erection and he moaned my name, Molly.
I licked and then sucked, and he said a lot more words but they were hard to understand because he was babbling.
His hips jerked off the bed when I got curious about his balls and gently grasped them.
“Molly,” he said again. “Come here, baby.”
Nobody had ever called me that before and I was smiling as he pulled me up to the top of the bed again.
“Was that good?” I asked. My words were also lost because he kissed me very, very deeply, stroking with his tongue.
Then he pulled my thigh over his hip and stroked our bodies together there, too.
His fingers played with my nipple as we kissed and kissed, rocking. If this was what sex felt like…
No, because that wasn’t all. He released my breast to touch between my legs, rubbing and finding my clit in a very expert way.
“I like that,” I told him. “A lot.” I pushed toward his hand. “I like it a lot!” I started to tremble and then I shook harder.
“Do you?” Our faces were close and we looked into each other’s eyes. “I want to see it.”
Shane wanted to see me have an orgasm, and I did.
I kept my eyes open so I could watch him too, his gaze so intent, his cheeks flushed.
He moved his hand away to reach for one of the condoms, and then he nudged me onto my back.
“Put your legs around me,” he said. “I think this will be the easiest…oh, Molly.” His head fell forward to rest on mine as he started to move into me.
Then he lifted it to look at me again. “Are you ok?”
I was, but it was odd. I was very glad that this was Shane here with me. “Yes,” I said. It pinched and I wiggled. “Yes,” I repeated. The slight pain was gone and now it felt good instead of strange.
“Ok, then…” He pulled back and rocked forward. He did it again, deeper, and I gasped.
“Yes,” I said quickly. “Yes, like that!”
He kept going and the pleasure of it…he kissed me and bit my neck, but not hard like I’d done to the trumpet player. It all felt good. It all felt overwhelmingly wonderful and I held onto him, grasping his butt to urge him to go faster and harder.
He was talking more and I understood some of his words. I recognized my name and I thought he said—
He had reached between us to stroke my clitoris and when he touched me there, I arched up and came, again. Shane pumped against me and repeated my name, his voice low and satisfied. We lay still, clutching each other.
“I heard you,” I said sleepily.
He smiled at me. “Did you? You heard what I said?”
“You said that you loved me. I love you, too.”
He turned away for a moment, rid himself of the condom, and then hugged me close. “Molly,” he said. He sounded even more satisfied. “You’re mine.”
I nodded. “Yes. I need you.”
He hesitated. “I need you,” he told me. “I need you, too.”
I understood. He didn’t need me as the fixer, but for his happiness. I felt the same way. “The other half of the duplex is empty. The cat guy moved out,” I noted.
“Is that right?” He laughed quietly. “Why are you telling me this right now?”
“I’m saying that I could live there.”
“It would be a lot of money for rent,” he pointed out.
“Well, I have two jobs,” I said. “I’m interviewing for another one, too.” Suddenly, I felt very optimistic about everything.
“Someone will get smart and snap you up,” he told me. “We could live next to each other. Then, we could live with each other. We can be together as a couple, and then later, a married couple.”
“Ok,” I agreed, smiling.
He laughed. “I’m going to hold you to that.”
“You can hold me whichever way you want.” I looked over at the table and at the clock with the big numbers. We had more time. I pulled him down to kiss me.
“Again?” he asked, and I said yes. There was a lot more I wanted to try. There was a lot ahead of us, and not just sex. There was so much that we could experience together.
“You and me,” I told him.
“You and me.” Shane smiled. “I have a good visual of our future. It looks wonderful.”