23. Luna #2
“Then don’t be a coward when I give it to you.”
Air traps inside my lungs for several seconds while I stare at a serious expression I wish was fake. It loosens a stitch somewhere inside of me, tugs free a feeling I refuse to analyze—let alone express.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” My hand trembles in his grasp. “Please… Don’t try to make me.”
His face falls. His chest pulls backward with a sigh as his thumb traces a straight path across the back of my hand. I can’t tell if I should pull away.
“What was the plan, Luna?” He frowns. “Did you think you were going to take me for a jog, run me by a treehouse, and magically perk me up?”
“That’s exactly what you expected of me, isn’t it?”
Thumb dipping over my knuckles, he finds my ring and subtly nudges the bulky, green jewel. Like he’s reminding me of another moment we shared—he and I in a bath, his finger sliding over my naked knuckle.
We have the same favorite book, he’d said. It was a blatant attempt at false connection, but at the time, I’d felt more naked than when he’d removed my clothes.
I know you.
I see you.
I am you.
All with a simple nudge.
“That was before I knew you. And before I knew about the pedophilia.”
“As if it would’ve changed your mind,” I spit, though there’s too much emotion in my voice to sound angry. “All you wanted was money.”
“And I got it.” He dips his chin. “Yet here we are, bridges flooded.”
I’m quiet for several moments while I frantically search his eyes, trying to stay ahead of a game I’m not sure we’re playing anymore.
Real?
Not real?
I don’t know. I’m not sure I’ll ever know.
A shaky inhale vibrates my trachea, but I still don’t pull my hand from his.
“What do you want?” I ask, my voice so broken it’s as if I’ve forfeited the match.
You should’ve known this would happen.
My brain plays the words on a loop while I stare into my opponent’s eyes. He doesn’t smirk. He doesn’t frown. His face stays perfectly serious as he speaks, like this is a business deal. To him, maybe it is.
“I want Persephone out… I have a contact on the outside who will gladly take her the moment I make the call. No police. No news crews. And in her place, I will provide five age-appropriate women who will accept a place within your society. I already have someone fresh lined up. Aubry makes two, and I have three more women from my island in mind. Brittany, Amara, and Priya.”
Slowly, I lean back to distance myself, if only an inch. “What about Liberty?”
“Liberty goes with Persephone… And me.”
Now, finally, I get the strength to rip my hand away. My feet carry me back a step. “You aren’t even trying to hide it anymore? You’re just going to come right out and tell me you’re escaping?”
“I’m not talking about escaping. I’m talking about you letting me go.”
“Sawyer.”
I shake my head as I take another step back. My foot slips on a sheet of ice, and when I stumble backward, he’s there to catch me. He rights me with his hands on my shoulders. It’s wrong that he catches me when he so thoroughly enjoys watching me fall.
“You asked for honesty, didn’t you?” His hand slides down my back so he can pull me forward by my tailbone.
I don’t nod. If I did, it would be a lie.
I don’t want this.
“The truth, Luna, is that…” His mouth hangs up a moment—a long stretch of a second where I pray he’ll change his mind. Pray he’ll shake his head.
He doesn’t.
“I brought Liberty here because her husband is my old business partner, the shark I told you about. I know how ruthless he is, and I know that if he ever found out where she was, he would burn this place to the ground.”
When I try to move away, his hand on my back jerks me toward him.
“But that’s not what I want anymore. I…” His eyes dart over my face while he thinks of the words to say. My throat feels so thick, I think I might choke. But I don’t swallow. I don’t even move. I just stare.
Because this is real. What he’s telling me… It’s the truth.
He’s admitting it. He’s telling me his plan.
I wish he’d stop.
“I care about you, Luna.” Sawyer sighs. “I don’t want to hurt you any worse than I already have…
All I want is for Liberty and Persephone to be allowed to leave.
If I have to stay for a while, I’ll stay, but…
As long as they’re here, you and I will always be at odds.
And while it’s no longer my plan to lure Liberty’s husband, I promise he’ll find her. Eventually.”
As he finishes, his chest relaxes back into place. His lips soften. His eyes stay neutral, as if waiting for a cup of tea.
I don’t respond for a long time. In my mind, I watch him with his head underwater, an electric baton lighting up every nerve of his body. I watch him in the mines, his hands raw, his back bloody. I watch him cold and shaking. I watch him naked and scarred.
And it still isn’t enough.
I’ve still managed to spoil him.
I’ve still managed to ruin him. To ruin this.
To ruin my home.
I break away from him and stand straighter, my lungs quivering. “You’re right, Sawyer. I want real. And I thank you for giving it to me.” My feet shift toward the Keep, but my eyes remain locked on his for a few moments longer. “But you ask for too much in return.”
When I start walking, he doesn’t follow. And I don’t get a Keeper to fetch him.
Let him wander the woods.
Maybe he’ll get bit by a snake.