Chapter 16
Compared to the creaky, rusty spring-filled twin mattress I’d been sleeping on for months, Dorian’s bed was paradise.
The top was soft enough to sink into, the sheets smooth and silky, the covers unbelievably cozy, and the pillows as plush as my childhood teddy bear.
Best of all, though, everything smelled faintly like him. When I wrapped the blankets around me tighter, I breathed him in. His scent lingering on the pillows reminded me of the smell of juniper in chilled gin.
Half-asleep, I wrapped my arms around the pillow and held it tight, but it wasn’t enough.
Unsatisfied with just a trace of him, I reached out to feel the real thing—to rest my head on his chest, to feel the warmth of his arms surround me…but my hands only slid across empty linens.
I opened my sleepy eyes, and sure enough, he wasn’t there.
More than that, it looked like he hadn’t come to bed at all. The other side was still perfectly made, and the sheets were cold.
Blinking and confused, I sat up.
The lights from the cityscape outside the window were just bright enough to bathe the room in a soft blue glow and let me see that I really was alone. I glanced over at the clock on the bed stand.
2:12 a.m.
That was strange…or then again, maybe it wasn’t.
It wasn’t as if I knew Dorian well. It was possible he was just a night owl and hadn’t come to bed yet.
I pushed back the covers and tiptoed out of the bedroom to see. The oversized T-shirt I’d borrowed from him while my clothes were in the wash brushed against my bare thighs.
The rest of the apartment looked just as dark as the bedroom and felt just as still. My chest tightened as I crept down the hall, suddenly afraid that he’d abandoned me in the dead of the night.
I didn’t want to believe Dorian would do something like that, but again, what did I know? Besides the fact that he could set my whole body on fire with a single touch—not much.
I didn’t even know his last name. Or what he did for a living. Or how he’d ended up with all of those scars.
Hell, I didn’t even know if I was the only woman in his life.
The thought made my stomach twist. Even the idea that he could be out there touching someone else left me feeling sick.
And who was to say it would be just one woman? A man as hot as Dorian could easily have a whole harem.
Images of him out there in the city, holding someone else, kissing her, making her cry out in passion, filled my head…until I walked into the darkened living room and spotted his unmistakable silhouette sitting in one of the chairs.
Instantly, I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Hey,” I said gently. “I got worried when I woke up, and you weren’t in bed. Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine.” His words might have been reassuring, but his dark tone was anything but. “You can go back to bed. I’ll join you soon.”
I hesitated. “Why don’t you come with me now?”
“I need to finish my drink first.” He jiggled his hand just enough for the ice to clink against the sides of the cut crystal tumbler.
“Then I’ll stay up with you until you’re finished,” I said, setting myself down on the sofa next to him, legs bent and feet curled up by my side.
“If that’s what you want.” He raised the glass and sipped the contents. The low light made it impossible to identify what he was drinking, but the rich, earthy scent made me guess bourbon or scotch.
He was quiet after that, not saying a word as his gaze focused on some faraway point out the window. We sat in silence like that for a while…long enough for my eyes to adjust the rest of the way to the darkness and see that, at some point, he’d put on clothes.
And not a pair of comfy old sweatpants but a full suit—black and sleek and perfectly tailored.
The knots in my stomach were back in a heartbeat.
“Did…Did you go out?” I asked.
He nodded before taking another sip. “It can’t be helped sometimes, but you’ll always be perfectly safe in my apartment.”
Maybe…but for the first time in a long while, personal safety wasn’t my biggest concern.
“Where did you go?”
I knew my heart was in trouble when he didn’t answer right away.
“Careful, Kiera,” he said. “There are some questions I’m not sure you want to know the answer to.”
That was definitely true, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. “Is there another woman?”
He snapped his head away from the window, his eyes locking instantly with mine. Even in the darkness, I could see the cold blue fire burning deep within them.
“Absolutely not.” His tone was as direct as I’d ever heard it. “And as long as I’m by your side, there never will be.”
I didn’t know how to respond. My heart loved the sound of his words, but my rational brain was skeptical.
“How can you be so sure?” I asked. “We barely know each other.”
His voice dropped down low. “After today, I know every inch of you.”
Suddenly, I was glad I’d resisted the urge to turn on a light when I entered the room. Now, the darkness helped to cover the blush that was starting to burn my cheeks.
But as suggestive as his words were, they weren’t the whole truth.
“There’s more to me than just my body.”
“Are you afraid I don’t know that?” he asked. When I hesitated to answer, he shifted in the chair, turning to face me head-on. “Then let me reassure you. I may not have discovered every detail of your life yet, Kiera, but I know you—the parts that matter, at least.”
“What parts are those?”
“Your bravery, your compassion, your heart—you’re a survivor.”
“Only because I had to be,” I argued. “There was no other choice.”
“There’s always another choice,” he countered. “You could have given up. You could have turned your back on your past and stopped caring about anyone else. You could have become bitter and jaded. But you didn’t. Do you have any idea how amazing that is, Kiera? How rare?”
I shook my head.
He leaned in closer. “Do you know why I insisted Jane send you alone that second week?”
“Because you wanted to sleep with me?” I guessed.
A hint of a wicked smile lifted his lips.
“If all I’d wanted was to fuck you, I could have done that the first day we met,” he said with all the confidence in the world. “Don’t lie to yourself and pretend otherwise.”
There was no point denying it. I was almost embarrassed remembering how hungrily I’d stared at his naked body.
“So why didn’t you seduce me then and there?” I asked.
“Because I wanted more,” he said. “I wanted you near me. I wanted you walking around my home week after week—talking, singing, making this place feel alive.”
“I—I don’t understand.”
His gaze slid from mine. It seemed unlikely, but he almost seemed uncomfortable.
He raised his glass and downed the rest of his drink in one swallow before looking back at me.
“No one has ever looked at me the way you do, Kiera,” he said. “Usually, when I look into someone’s eyes, all I see is fear or anger. Sometimes, there’s disgust or a perverse attraction to danger. But you’re different. Besides my brothers, you’re the only one who looks at me like I’m a real person.”
My brows pulled down, bunching together in confusion. “Of course, you’re a person. What else would you be?”
“A monster,” he answered without hesitation.
Maybe it was the dark room or the late hour, but his words struck me as almost comically dramatic.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said. “I know monsters. I watched one kill my sister. I had to fight one off with a bowling trophy the other day. You’re definitely not a monster.”
“You’d change your mind if you knew me better.”
“I’m not saying you’re an angel,” I said. “I’m not naive. I’ve seen your scars, and I’ve worked enough emergency room shifts to guess you didn’t get them helping little old ladies cross the street. I may not know every crime you’ve committed, but I’ve seen the good you do. And that good proves there’s more to you—much more.”
“You’re the only person in the world who would use that word to describe me.”
I shook my head, unwilling to believe that.
“I’m just telling you what I know. Monsters don’t come rushing to the aid of people they barely know—good people do. Monsters don’t put themselves at risk to help someone in danger,” I said before laughing to lighten the mood. “And they sure as hell don’t tip as well as you.”
He raised his hand and gently caressed the back of his fingers down my cheeks.
“That right there is what I mean,” he said, looking deep into my eyes. Brutal honesty dripped from every word he spoke. “No one sees me the way you do. When you look at me, I feel like I’m more than the acts I’ve committed. No one else has made me feel as alive, as human, as you, Kiera, and that’s how I know no other woman could ever tempt me again.”
I blinked, uncertain of how to respond. My heart was pounding, my chest full to bursting with emotions I didn’t know how to put words to.
So I didn’t try.
Instead, I leaned forward and kissed him, letting my lips and tongue and body express what my voice couldn’t.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and drew him toward me, needing him close. He didn’t fight the pull. In an instant, he let the crystal tumbler fall from his hand and clatter against the floor.
He didn’t waste any time, pulling off his jacket as he moved onto the couch. I did my best to help, my hands furiously working to undo the buttons on his shirt as he angled himself over me. Nudging his knees between mine, he pushed my legs open, making room for his hips between my thighs.
God, he felt good there. Nothing had ever felt as right as the solid length of him pressing against the core of me. I was beginning to wonder how I’d ever lived without it.
The moment I popped the last button on his shirt, I pressed my palms against his chest, relishing the smooth feel of his taut, warm skin. But it wasn’t enough.
I needed more.
I moved my hands down, sliding them from his stony pecs, over the ridges of his defined abs, all the way down to the waist of his pants. I clumsily clawed at the fly, desperate to get it open and feel him inside me again.
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who was out of patience.
After one unsuccessful try, Dorian pushed my hand away and, in one effortless move, opened his pants.
Instantly, his cock sprang free. Without waiting to undress any further, he pivoted his hips, bringing the hard head of his cock flush against my cunt.
I was already wet for him. My body couldn’t help but respond to his presence. He was all I could think about. The only thing that I needed.
Pressing his forehead against mine and looking deep into my eyes, he entered me in a single thrust.
“Oh God, yes!” I cried out.
He laced his fingers with mine, clasping my hands tight as he brought them above my head. Then, with maddening slowness, he pulled back until the head of his cock just barely teased my opening.
“Don’t call for God.” His voice was a devilish growl. “Say my name.”
I’d say anything to feel him back inside me. Anything.
“Dorian!”
A look of truly wicked satisfaction came over his face a half second before he savagely plunged back inside me. “That’s right.”
I ground against him, hungry for the sensation of my clit rubbing against his body. “Please, Dorian. Please. Don’t stop. I want more.”
His chest rumbled against mine, a primal sound reverberating out of him as he picked up speed.
There were no other thoughts. No other sensations. Just Dorian. Just the searing pleasure of his body filling mine. Bringing me closer to heaven than I’d ever dreamed possible.
Suddenly, I understood what he’d meant when he said I was his.
This kind of desire, this driving need—it only came from giving yourself over to someone. From trusting them with your complete and utter surrender. From instinctually knowing they would tear the world to shreds to keep you safe and by their side.
“You’re right,” I moaned softly against his ear. “I’m yours. Take me as hard as you can. I’m totally yours.”
His possessive roar filled the room, causing me to cry out as, again and again, he pounded into me. His pace furious and unrelenting, he plowed me hard and fast until he was all that existed.
It didn’t take long for me to shatter completely.
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I locked my legs around his waist, riding the wave of ecstasy that crashed over me.
Above my head, Dorian’s hands tightened around mine. His arms locked, his core tensing. Gritting his teeth, he drove into me one last time, then stiffened.
I could barely breathe as his cock pulsed deep inside, filling me with his come.
Everything about the moment was so perfect. So right.
And it remained that way a few moments after when we’d finally caught our breath, and he finally moved from between my legs.
Standing up, he kicked his pants off the rest of the way, leaving them on the floor as he bent down to pick me up. Carrying me in his arms and cradling me close to his chest, he took me to his bed.
And this time, he didn’t hesitate before laying down beside me.