Chapter Nine #2
Ethan forced a smile, fighting down a flicker of irritation that Hannah was so focused on placating Grace, ever the peacemaker, as always.
Sometimes Ethan longed to be more like his saintly sister, but at other times, he just wanted to give in to a good fight.
He felt that impulse then, hot in his blood.
Ethan didn’t want to just concede and let his concerns be waved away.
He wanted to argue and insist that Grace tell him what proof she had of this, which remarks had frustrated her so much.
Why did she insist on assuming the worst of him no matter what he did?
Ethan knew he would never be able to do any of that with Hannah around, though. She would insist that they be nice to one another and pretend as if they were all dear friends.
“I have other chores to finish,” Ethan said abruptly, realizing it would be best for him to get out of here before he said or did something that would only worsen the situation.
“Of course,” Grace said. She didn’t sound especially pleased. Maybe some part of her also wanted a fight.
***
Days passed fluidly, blending into one another seamlessly without the routine of a more settled daily life.
Practically speaking, Ethan knew it didn’t matter how many days had passed because they would eventually arrive at the end of the trail no matter what.
Knowing the number of days would not change how the journey ended.
Still, he had found there was something oddly disorienting about not knowing the date.
It had been some time since they’d set out, though, because Grace’s limp had steadily lessened. Soon, Ethan would no longer feel the need to help the woman with her chores, which was for the best. She clearly detested him and his attempts to help, even though she clearly couldn’t do it on her own.
‘But she doesn’t mind that Hannah helps her,’ thought Ethan as he settled by the fire with a steaming bowl of stew.
Hannah sat to his left, Emily to his right.
As she ate, the little girl kept shooting quick, fleeting glances in his direction.
Ethan didn’t know if that was notable for any reason, but she seemed fascinated with him.
Grace sat between her father and Emily, carefully blowing on a hot spoonful of the stew to cool it to a safe temperature.
“What do you think?” Hannah asked, her expression bright. “Grace made the stew all by herself this time!”
Grace’s face flushed with obvious embarrassment. “Not all by myself,” she mumbled.
Hannah waved a dismissive hand. “You did almost all the work. I only watched and offered a little advice here and there.”
“It’s amazing!” Emily exclaimed.
Ethan tried a spoonful. The stew was perfectly adequate, a serviceable meal.
It tasted like the stew his sister always made, which wasn’t surprising in the least. He didn’t know how to feel about it.
On one hand, Grace had learned quickly, which was impressive.
He supposed he ought to praise her, too.
On the other hand, Hannah cooked like this all the time.
It felt like she and Emily were making a bigger fuss about some stew than they really needed to be.
“It’s fine,” Ethan said, suspecting that Grace would take it poorly if he didn’t say anything.
“It certainly smells delicious!” exclaimed Derek as he joined them.
Grace gave him a more genuine smile than she had ever favored Ethan with as she thanked him. Of course she would receive Derek’s compliment more kindly than his, but maybe that was simply the case with everyone who wasn’t Ethan.
Derek helped himself to a bowl and settled between Hannah and Grace. “We’ve been lucky with the wonderful weather,” he interjected as he started eating.
What a dull thing to say.
“We have,” Richard agreed. “Let’s hope it lasts.”
“Well, I could do with a little foul weather,” Derek said, laughing. “Can you really call yourself a proper frontiersman if you haven’t encountered any danger along the way?”
Like a flash of lightning, Grace’s terrified face flitted through Ethan’s mind, an occurrence that had lessened with time, but still hadn’t abated completely.
He ate another spoonful of the stew, resisting the impulse to chastise Derek for saying such a ridiculous thing.
This journey wasn’t some kind of grand adventure from a novel where everything turned out all right in the end for everyone.
Didn’t he realize that people could genuinely be hurt on this trip, or even lose their lives?
“We have come close to some danger already,” Hannah said, raising an eyebrow.
More than close. Ethan glanced at Grace, who seemed as if she was deliberately avoiding his gaze. Emily shifted a little closer to Ethan’s side, looking up at him with wide eyes. Ethan eyed her curiously, unsure what to make of the child’s apparent interest in him.
“I overheard Amos talking about—oh, what is his name? Mr. Sterling?”
“Zachariah,” Derek said.
Hannah nodded. “That’s right. The axle on his wagon was damaged, which he was fortunate to discover when we stopped to rest for the night. Can you imagine what might have happened if he hadn’t noticed and had continued traveling with the wagon in that state?”
Richard shook his head. “It’s fortunate he noticed. A lot of men have been injured in wagon accidents on the trail.”
Ethan privately suspected Zachariah hadn’t noticed the damage.
While Grace had proven that there was more to her than met the eye, that she had courage and fortitude, he could not say the same for Zachariah Sterling.
Every time Ethan had seen him, Zachariah had been gossiping and doing little else.
Ethan had never once seen him so much as glance at his own wagon before climbing into it.
But someone had noticed the damage and averted disaster. He supposed that was all that really mattered.
“Ethan knows how to repair wagons!” Emily announced.
Ethan blinked, taken aback by both the unexpected remark and the assuredness with which Emily had said it.
“Does he?” asked Grace, sounding equally startled.
Emily nodded, her face serious. “I saw him inspecting the wagons, and he said that he would fix them if there were any problems.”
“Many men can repair wagons, Emily,” Ethan said.
“And women!” Emily exclaimed excitedly, looking at her sister. “I saw that one lady—what was her name?”
Grace seemed to have a little trouble remembering. “Kate,” she said at last. “Yes, she fixed her wagon herself.”
“I want to be just like her! Could you show me?” asked Emily, turning to Ethan. “Please?”
Ethan frowned, thinking of how Emily would realistically be unable to do anything helpful and would be better off watching him perform the inspections.
But perhaps she’d enjoy that. It wasn’t like she would cause any harm by following him around, provided she stay out of the way to avoid any danger.
“Well,” he said. “I suppose I can, but you’ll have to be careful around the horses. And you can’t try fixing anything yourself.”
Emily’s face brightened. “I won’t!” she promised.
Grace cleared her throat. “I’m not sure if that’s safe for a little girl,” she said, looking uneasy.
“I won’t let anything happen to her,” Ethan said.
Grace’s eyes shone with doubt, and for the first time, Ethan wasn’t offended by her lack of faith in him.
Ethan knew her hesitation wasn’t really about him, but more about how close she’d come to losing her little sister very recently.
He couldn’t figure out how to refuse without destroying the little girl’s hopes, but he also understood how heavily having her sister out of sight must weigh on Grace.
“Grace!” Emily exclaimed. “I want to learn how to repair the wagons! What if I need to help someday?”
Ethan didn’t know who Kate was, but he imagined she was certainly older and more capable of fixing wagons than Emily. Then again, children her age weren’t generally known for their logical thinking.
Grace furrowed her brow. “Well, I—I just think—”
“Ethan will keep her safe,” Derek assured her. “Besides, most of the job is just looking to see if everything’s in good condition. There’s nothing dangerous about that!”
Ethan nodded curtly, feeling awkward now that he had Derek’s support.
Derek was always like that—insisting that Ethan could do anything with no proof at all.
He acted like they were actually brothers, when of course, they weren’t.
Sometimes, Ethan wondered if Derek simply acted like that in the hopes that he’d inevitably see Ethan fail.
Grace bit her lip and cast a furtive look at her father, who only shrugged.
“I don’t see the harm in Emily learning something new,” the older man offered.
“Great!” Emily exclaimed. “Can I come with you tomorrow?”
“Well, sure, I suppose, since your pa says it’s okay,” Ethan replied.
Grace said nothing, but Ethan sensed her simmering anger. She was clearly upset that no one agreed with her, and while there was so much about her that Ethan didn’t understand, he thought he might comprehend this, at least.
Emily was Grace’s little sister. Since they had no mother, Grace had doubtlessly taken on the responsibility of one, trying to keep Emily safe from anything that could possibly hurt her.
That was what Ethan had done for Hannah, after all, back when they were children in a similar situation.
Of course, their father wasn’t dead, but he might as well have been for all the use he'd been once he’d left.
As Ethan ate his stew, he tried to find some way of expressing to Grace that he understood her feelings on the topic, but he just couldn’t find the right words.
Maybe that didn’t matter, though. Even if he had found the right words to tell Grace he understood, he suspected she would find some way to twist them and paint him as the villain yet again.