Chapter 16 #2
I huff out half a laugh and shake my head. “C’mon, did you seriously think I'd say no?”
“I know how stubborn you can be.”
“Oh yeah, I'm the stubborn one in the family.”
“Duh! All Woodrow men are as stubborn as mules while the women—”
“Ma-ma story?” a small voice pipes up, and instantly my sister's attention shifts.
“Aw, sweetie, where's your dad? Did you put him to sleep again?”
“Is that my favorite niece?” I smile, even if this isn't a video call.
“Say goodnight to Uncle Linden, and then it's truly bedtime!” Aspen sounds exasperated, but still so fond as she deals with her daughter.
“Night-night!” the tiny voice obediently babbles into the phone, making me melt.
“Goodnight, little one! Night, Pen.”
I wait until the slight fumbling and quiet talking at the other end stops before also hanging up, then let myself fall backward onto my bed, sliding the phone under my pillow.
“Fuck,” I tell the ceiling.
“Is everything alright?”
I startle when a voice cuts through my swirling thoughts about what I'll need to pack, any tips I can give Olli so he’ll be fine handling the kittens on his own, what I'll tell Barb at the pound, hoping that she can spare me for a few weeks.
Of course I hadn't told Aspen that: it wouldn't change anything. If our parents need me, I'll go.
I slowly push myself into a sitting position, squinting over to where Micah is standing in the doorframe. He hesitates for a moment, then steps into my room.
“Yeah.” I sigh, raising my shoulders. “Yeah it…” The words get stuck in my throat no matter how much I want to get them out. Finally, I shake my head.
I can hear the muffled sound of feet on the carpet as Micah crosses the room, feel the mattress dip as he sits down next to me, but I don’t turn my head. Instead, I look at my hands.
“No.” I finally breathe out the truth. “No, it's not. Everyone’s fine, but—” I pause, taking several deep breaths.
“They need me to help with the farm. They’re overwhelmed with the harvest this year.
” It’s not my family’s fault, and I don’t resent my sister for telling me what’s really going on when my mom wanted to shield me from it.
No, I’m resentful of all the other students who get to have a proper summer break. Who don’t have to get up hours before their classes to take care of cows.
“Oh. But I’m glad your family’s okay,” Micah says tentatively.
“Yeah.” I nod, feeling numb. I have to say it out loud so it becomes real.
“Means I’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow.
I’d go sooner, but I’ll have to let Barb know and show Olli how to feed the kittens.
” I bite my tongue. I’m working up to it too slowly when I really should just pull off the band-aid as quickly as possible. I take a deep breath.
“And…I guess that’s it then?”
Finally, I find the courage to look up and search for Micah’s eyes, one dark, one light. They’re watching me closely, glinting in the low light falling in through the window.
I’m glad Micah didn’t turn on the overhead light when he came upstairs. This feels like a conversation best had in the dark.
“Between us, I mean,” I answer the silent question that’s hovering between us. I’ll be at the farm for at least three weeks. Maybe even four, though that will be cutting it close with preparing for the start of my classes.
“I’m sorry. I…enjoyed…” I trail off. On the one hand, I don’t want to say anything that might disturb the mood, but on the other, I genuinely don’t know what I actually enjoyed more: Exploring all these new things or simply spending time with Micah.
Learning about him and finding him listening to me in return.
Really listening, even when I was talking about the depressing things that come with growing up on a farm.
It felt close to what I had developed with Colin over chat. God, Colin. I just hope it’ll be enough for him to prove that I’m not going to wake up fucking straight one day.
“But…does it have to be?”
“Huh?”
“I mean”—Micah tilts his head, clears his throat—“if your family needs help—not that I know much about cherries, but I can work. In fact, I could actually use some work! Before I get soft.” He thoughtfully tips his head down as if to consider his stomach.
An unexpected laugh bursts out of me, but I shake my head, trying to get rid of it again. Some of the few friends I made in high school said the exact same thing, then bailed when they realized farm work meant getting up while it was still dark to shovel literal, actual shit.
However, I can’t detect any hint of worry or joke in Micah’s eyes when he keeps looking at me. Despite the small joke, his offer is genuine.
“You’re…are you sure? What about your training?
I mean, obviously you’d get paid! But…but it’s not enough that I’d ask you to give up your summer,” I assure him, wanting to make extra sure he knows what he’s getting himself into.
At the same time, the prospect of having a friend there, of having Micah there, makes my heart skip a beat.
“You didn’t ask. I’m offering,” he reminds me, his voice warm.
“O-okay.”
I’m actually excited since it means I’ll get to show him what I told him about my parents’ farm.
However, there’s a slight tinge of worry sneaking into my tentative happiness.
Micah coming home with me means that, for the first time, my two worlds will clash—my life here in Bonham and the fake one I’ve been telling my family about.