Chapter 14
MAX
“You’ll need to eat these,” Aoife calls, shaking a glass vial of rose petals. Since being removed, the petals have turned a sinister shade of red, the veins now putrid black.
What kind of flower is this? Baris warning is blaring in my skull.
More guards bring in the sand, and I watch it warily.
“What’s all this?”
“Protection.”
“For me?”
She scoffs delicately. “No. For the palace.”
The sand shines like gold, shimmering with each load thrown into the room. It’s so dense my feet don’t sink below it, and I walk on uneven steps over to Aoife’s side.
She hands me the petals with a small smile and a chill runs over my shoulders.
Aoife hasn’t been the nicest of hosts. I know she cares for Kaden, but there is still the feeling that she’s not on my side. Seti’s Hell, she might not be on Kaden’s either if she had to choose.
Those petals smile at me as I shake the jar. Do I risk it? Ingest something that could kill me?
No, it wouldn’t kill me. Even Baris didn’t think that was the case. But Aoife would make things difficult.
Licking my lips, I catch Reid’s eye. We’re not close enough to have our own language—not like I was with Tay or he is with his siblings—but he understands my look. Be careful. Watch me.
“What will it do?”
The queen sighs bored. “We’ve discussed this. It will purify your intentions. If you survive, your blood can be used in the potion that will break Kaden’s curse.”
“If she survives? Mother—”
“Silence, Malvolio,” she demands. Knitting her fingers together, she glances to me. “If you survive, we can proceed. But that is a big if, Dark Queen.”
Take the petals and risk death? That’s a huge ask. Don’t, and Kaden remains a beast, but I live.
It’s for Kaden. I would destroy the world for him, and he for me. There is no choice when it comes to saving him.
Popping the cork of the jar, I let the petals fall into my mouth. The bitterness of ash, sorrow, and salt explodes across my tongue and I cough, gagging. Absolutely disgusting.
The petals don’t come out—they absorb right away, diving deep like a worm. Tossing the glass, it shatters at Aoife’s feet and I wait.
Her smiles turns feline. Looking to the Fae at my side, she says lightly, “You should move away. This may hurt you.”
“Go,” I direct them. The room starts to spin and I blink against the dizziness. “Stand back. I wouldn’t forgive myself if you were hurt.”
I don’t see if they’ve left, the room turning too quickly to adjust my vision. The gold blurs and I fall, palms slapping against the sand. It burns into my hands, living flames so hot, I scream.
Scanning my hands, tiny blisters appear.
It looks as if I’ve played with fire. Just like when I was little, my hands are burned from stray sparks, flesh melting away.
My body starts to shake, as adrenaline and shock hit my system.
A fire rages overhead—I’m not sure where that came from—and the heat is so intense, it singes my skin.
Lashes of fire crack the air and I roll away, feeling some touch my back.
Right above my scars. From when I was a child, burning wood pieces of homes flew into the air, and landed on my back. Fresh agony so harsh, robs me of breath, but I shout, tears leaving my eyes. Rocking forward, I hold myself and just scream as I brace for more.
The stream of fire stops and I cough, fingers digging into the sand for stability. I take one cleansing breath of cool air, something to steady my heart and get ready to attack Aoife. She did this—she must of—
Tiny daggers draw over my skin. It’s gentle at first, nothing more than a prick of awareness. Then they grow heavier, as they carve into my flesh.
I slap my hands around, trying to find where they are, but nothing appears. They grow in intensity, until parts of my body rip open. Blood soaks the white cloth, running down my fingers, over my arms, and through my bindings.
Tasting it on my tongue, I wipe my face only to feel it smear. It’s covering me as if my magic has grown too high to control.
This is what she meant.
This is the purification ritual. It’s stripping away layers of who I am—my fears, and my weaknesses. My fear of flames, and my past. My inability to control my magic and the guilt it causes. Every darkness inside of me is being pulled back and forced on me to face.
It wants me to succumb. It wants me to buckle under who I am and run away.
I won’t let it win.
Standing, I let the knives dig into me. I let them pull and cut, twist and hurt, until I’m panting, staring across the throne room. No one is there. Just me, bloody and crying, to face my fears alone.
It’s absolute torture, feeling the wounds and not be able to stop them. My skin is red—painted from blood and burns, but I endure. What other choice do I have?
Moments fly by and eventually the stabs stop. I drop, chin smacking the sand, hands outstretched. Fucking finally.
Coughing into my arm, I miss the sounds of encroaching footsteps until twin black boots stop by my head. Twisting my head, I look up into burning amber eyes and my stomach lurches.
“Kaden,” I whisper, throat raw. I was screaming more than I thought.
Kaden—my Kaden—stands there as he should.
Long black strands, pointed ears, sharp fangs and bright eyes that hold a thousand suns and my heart.
Dressed in his riding leathers, sleeves rolled up and a sword on his hip, he looks like he did the first night in the Eternal Night Forest, when I threatened him to leave me alone.
My heart explodes with relief.
He smirks, holding out his hand to help me up. I don’t waste time, letting him tug me into his arms.
Gods above, he feels good. Strong arms, muscular chest and thick thighs, he’s the male I’ve fallen in love with again. Inhaling, I dig my face into his chest, smelling his spicy campfire scent and roses.
Roses?
Shoving him away, I stumble back, eyes wide. Kaden doesn’t smell like roses. Fire, danger and secrets, yes. Never roses.
“What’s wrong, kitten?” he asks, cocking his head like he always does. “Don’t want to hug your mate?”
“You’re not my mate,” I croak, lifting a finger. “You’re not my Kaden.”
“Ah, but I am.” He grins, withdrawing his sword. Instinctively, I withdraw my daggers. “In the flesh. Finally whole.” Kaden swings the sword, testing the weight in his hands. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”
“Of course, but this—”
He rushes forward, Fae reflexes too fast to track. Without warning, he grabs my neck, stuttering my breath. I scream out, his fingers cutting into the sensitive flesh.
“But what, Max?” He grins, and something about it causes the hair on my arms to rise. It’s not the smile of a lover—but of a predator. “Don’t you want me back?”
Kicking forward, I catch him in the gut, then use my dagger to cut his wrist, and the joint at his elbow. Thank Enyo I’m still fast. His grasp releases and I push him away. Inhaling, I gulp down air, greedy trying to stop the burning in my throat.
“You’re not Kaden,” I say again. “My Kaden isn’t, this. So—”
“Unhinged?” He laughs, doubled over. Blood drips from his hand, staining the sand. “That’s where you’re wrong. This is me—this has always been me. Just not the me you see.”
I shake my head, unable to connect this version with the man I love.
But as I deny it, something in my heart cracks.
“No,” I whisper. He can’t be like this. “Kaden cares. He’s good. He loves me.”
The imposter straightens, licking the blood off his fingers, as if he finished a great meal. “What’s wrong, pet? Having second thoughts about saving me?”
I swallow, but stay silent.
Kaden walks around me, keeping an arm’s length between us. The sickening sweet smell of roses suffocates me and he grins, fangs dipping over his bottom lip.
“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” he murmurs, grabbing the knot on my scalp and tugging me into his chest. A shriek is wretched from my lips. “The Kaden you know and the Kaden you see before you, are one in the same.”
“No,” I deny, closing my eyes.
This Kaden is terrifying, deranged with this intensity that can only be described as psychotic. The Kaden I know falls to his knees to worship me, to soothe my fears, and cherish my heart.
“You’re wrong.”
“No?” He shakes me, turning us to glare into the perfectly cleaned wall. It reflects us, two beings, locked in a tight hold. “Doesn’t this look like the male you let between your thighs?”
“Shut up,” I command, looking away.
He doesn’t let me get far. He forces my head back, one hand on my neck, the other in my hair.
“The man who you let feed from your throat? Whose bite brings you to new heights of ecstasy?” He snickers.
“The man you love is only one piece of the real him. You see the side he wants you to know—but tell me, little kitten, did you think he was saying sweet nothings as he killed that lord that tried to take you in Griffin’s palace? ”
Nausea swims in my gut.
“Do you think he asked nicely to drain him of all his blood, before depositing him at your door? Do you think he was in control when he threatened the Human who tried to force you to your knees on the raid?” His presses his lips to my ear.
“Do you think he really had no choice when he claimed you so Wulf couldn’t have you? ” He scoffs, tossing me into the sand.
“Your precious Kaden is a menace, built off of blood, torture, and mayhem. He is as much a monster as the one who owns his soul.” Kaden kneels before me, grinning, and I see the flash in his eyes—a flash of glee, seeing me weak before him.
The same flash in his eyes as he held a sword to the human’s neck. The same glee when the claim left his mouth.
“You only see one side to who he truly is, but he is me.” He lifts my chin with one finger. “He would gladly crush anyone who opposes him, and laugh as they scream in anguish. Is that the male you love?”
Kaden drops my chin and I fall forward, catching myself stiffly.
Sniffling, I look up and narrow my eyes.
“You’re wrong,” I mutter, clawing at the sand to stand.
He picks at his nails with his blade. “I’m not. Your precious Kaden is a monster—a beast. He is his father’s favorite son. If you can’t see that side of him, you’re doomed.”
On wobbling knees, I dig my heels in for balance. “He is nothing like Zelos.”
Those eyes glint again. It hurts to look at them, see the male I love, but only know this isn’t him.
Yet, it is him. This version only speaks the truth. Kaden is a monster—he kills without concern for consequences, he takes what he wants, and has no problem holding back truths if it serves his purpose. I’ve seen it—experienced it. Kaden will do what he thinks is best, even if it’s not good.
He is as much of a monster as this image says.
But so am I.
“Kaden might be all those things,” I say calmly, “but he is so much more than that. He chooses to control those dark impulses, he chooses to care for me. All those other things—he does out of his love for those who matter.”
The Fae in front of me scoffs, holding the sword out to my neck. “You are only denying what he is. Who he is. You cannot hope to love someone if you do not know all of him. If you do not accept all of him.”
And there it is. This is what the purification ritual is. It isn’t to purify my intentions, or my love, but to see all the darkness and still choose it. I’m to see the most terrible parts of my mate and still choose to love him.
All those vicious parts might terrify me, but I know, Kaden would never harm me. He would choose me every time.
“I choose him.” Holding out my daggers, I clash against his sword, throwing it to the side. This image, this imposter, smiles, eyes blazing with a fury I know well. “I will always choose him”
The fight begins immediately. Kaden fights like he does everything—perfectly. It’s hard to keep up with him, but I have my speed as an advantage, and Fee’s training. Blades hit and loud clangs resonate around us.
Soon, I’m panting and he throws me back against the wall, pinning me with the sword at my neck, and my daggers lock against him. One wrong move—too big of a breath, and he’ll slice my head off.
“And what happens when you find his fangs in your neck, hm?” he drawls. “It won’t be erotic then, kitten. What if he can’t control himself and kills you in his hunger?”
“Once the curse is broken, I won’t have to worry about that.”
“Oh pet,” he mocks. “He is still a Dark Fae. They were bred for war and carnage. He will always be hungry. Especially for a little kitten’s magical blood.”
I shudder. He knows what I am. Does that mean this is a message from the Gods or my mind?
Surging forward, the imposter forces his tongue into my mouth as if to prove a point.
His lips are frightening familiar and my blood roars with need so fierce I nearly combust. He cradles the back of my head, as he lays claim, taking what he thinks is owed to him.
My body melts—the traitorous thing. Because this is not Kaden—not my Kaden. He feels like him but this isn’t real.
I bite him. Hard. Blood fills my mouth and I don’t stop until he rips away, laughing. His face is smeared in red and my teeth ache, but I glare at the image, chest heaving.
“I trust Kaden,” I defend. “He’d never hurt me.”
“Just imprison you until he makes you listen,” he tsks. “Tell me, do you like it when you’re forced to do things by your mate? Wouldn’t it be easier to let him go?”
“No.” Shoving against him, our weapons tangle into a mess of sharp blades and frantic hand movements. They fly through the air, stabbing the sand.
Kaden grabs my neck, lifting me high. My vision blurs, blackness encroaching as I grasp at his forearm, raking into his pale skin. Blood erupts and the faintest drum hits my ears.
A drum. His heart beat.
If he was truly my mate, I would not be able to hear it. Yet, it’s there, thin and barely audible but there.
“If you don’t let him go now, you’ll have to let him go eventually,” he says, shaking me like a doll. “You will have to choose. Him or the world.”
“I’ll always choose him,” I whisper, face turning red as oxygen sits trapped in my chest.
He brings me close, so close, I can see the black flecks in his eyes that sparkle like diamonds. The damned smell of roses wafts around us.
“You won’t get a choice, pet. You’ll never truly love him—not enough to save him.”
Anger, fresh and hot, stirs up inside me. My hand strikes out, gripping hold of the faint thread of his heart, listening to it fall under my command.
Those amber eyes turn cold and I know right there, I’ve won.
I know what I have to do to end this.
“I will save him.” My voice carries around us, a vengeful God ready to smite. With sure red fingers, I snap my knuckles and his heart explodes within his chest.
The image drops and I with him, as my face smacks into the hard ground. The sand is gone, the light has turned soft, and as I roll over, coughs racking my body, I look up into the familiar face of my father.
Then, it goes black.