Chapter 40
Cal
When I returned from my training session this morning, I found a bed that was completely empty except for a single piece of parchment.
Spending some time alone before questioning Malosym again. Be back tonight. I love you.
-P
I’d taken a deep breath when I found it, swallowing down the sense of dread that surged at the thought of Petra alone.
She can take care of herself, I thought.
And she can do it a hell of a lot better than you can.
It was better like this anyway, because I didn’t want her anywhere near Miles if I could help it.
Now, I stood in the courtyard, watching my brother pace back and forth as the last rays of the sun cast the sandstone castle in shades of gold. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d worn a hole in the ground by the time we were done here.
“If the past two days are any indication, we have ten minutes. She usually comes out here to read after dinner,” Miles said, his voice clipped and nervous.
The plan was for me to slip away before Cielle arrived, down the hallway and into the first floor drawing room, where the first floor window looked out over the courtyard.
Miles hadn’t asked me, and I hadn’t offered, but we had an unspoken agreement. I needed to stay nearby.
Just in case.
“What do I say?” he asked suddenly, though his pacing continued. “How do I apologize?”
My brows rose in surprise at his question. “You just…apologize.”
“It’s not that simple. This is more than an apology.”
He was crumbling to pieces in front of me. This was…not good. “I can’t tell you what to say, Miles."
“ Shit ,” he whispered. There seemed to be no trace of Malosym’s power in any of his movements. His nerves must’ve been stronger.
“Do I tell her I love her?” he asked.
“Well, do you love her?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then tell her if you want to.”
Miles took a step toward me, his hands closing over my arms. “Tell me what to say, Cal. I’m falling apart.” His grip was strong, but no stronger than normal. Hell, maybe the cure to Malosym’s power was a strong dose of humility from Cielle. I’d never seen him like this.
“I can’t tell you what to say to her,” I repeated. “Just tell her how you feel.”
He shook his head, resuming his pacing. “Not good enough. I need– ”
Footsteps sounded, and Miles and I both whirled to face each other.
“She’s early,” he breathed, his eyes flashing between me and the corridor.
I took a step to leave, but Miles snagged me by the collar of my tunic.
“Where the hell are you going?” he hissed.
“If she sees you, she’ll know you’re listening somewhere nearby! ”
“Why the hell would she think that?”
“She’s smart!”
The footsteps were growing louder. My head whipped back and forth. I could go through a window. I could jump over the garden wall. I could–
“What the fuck?” I grunted as Miles shoved me backward, straight into a dense, perfectly manicured shrub.
“Stay there,” he hissed, moving his hands up and down his body self-consciously as he sprinted away.He tugged on the hem of his leathers as his steps slowed, folding his hands behind his back and pretending to casually look at…a tree.
And I was in a fucking shrub.
“Miles?” Cielle’s voice sounded suddenly, genuine surprise in her tone. I settled in, because clearly, I wasn’t leaving. This was my seat for the show.
“Cielle,” Miles answered, clearing his throat. “What are you doing here?” My eyes rolled so far into the back of my head I saw my mind looking back at me. Real fucking smooth, Miles.
“I like to read out here in the evenings,” she said. I craned my neck around the leaves obscuring my view, and I could just make out the sight of Cielle raising a book in one hand.
“Oh, really?” Miles asked. “I had no idea.”
“Mhm,” she hummed, and the sound of her footsteps echoed through the courtyard before she lowered herself to a bench.
“Well, I’ll leave you be,” Miles said, quickly making his way toward the corridor. What the fuck, Miles?
“You’re welcome to stay,” she called, and Miles paused, thank the Saints . If he hadn’t, I would’ve been forced to pop out of this bush and strangle my idiot of a brother. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your…tree gazing.”
“My tree gazing? Oh , my tree gazing. Yes, I love my evening tree gazing.”
Fucking Saints. He really was falling apart out there.
From this angle, I could see the smirk on her face. “Oh yeah? Taken up an interest in botany in recent years?”
“Sure have.”
“What kind of tree is that one?” she asked, and my eyes shot wide.
Serve Miles up on a breakfast plate and cover him in jam, because he was toast.
I would’ve paid money to see the look on his face as he took a step toward the tree, out of my view. “That is a green leaf tall tree. Very rare. Only grows here in Nesan.”
Cielle raised a single brow. “And that one?” she asked, nodding to another tree farther down the path.
“That is a flowering branch tree. Its bark is highly poisonous. Don’t want to go anywhere near that one.”
“And what about that one?”
“A softwood gum tree. Easy. Its leaves are edible.”
Cielle chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment, somehow holding back the laugh I knew had to be bubbling up as she nodded toward the first tree.
“Eddenian broadleaf. Not rare.” Her face remained straight as she continued down the line.
“Dewdrop oak. Not poisonous. And you actually almost guessed the last one correctly.”
“I did?”
“No. That’s a dusk olive. And its leaves are not edible, but its fruit is.”
Miles stood in silence for a moment. “Oh. Well, the lighting here is different, so it’s harder to tell what kind of trees they are, and–”
And then his words stopped, because Cielle began laughing. It was, admittedly, a beautiful sound, and I fought my own smile when I saw Miles’ shoulders relax. Tears welled in Cielle’s eyes as she threw her head back, her golden hair catching the rays of the setting sun.
What a fool he’d been. A lucky fucking fool that Cielle didn’t get up and walk away as soon as she realized he was full of shit.
“Nice try, soldier,” she sighed as she caught her breath. She shuffled down the bench a bit, making room for Miles before she patted the spot next to her. “Sit with me.”
Miles hesitated for a split second, his hands flexing at his side before he slowly, slowly walked in her direction and took the seat beside her. I finally had a view of his face again. He cleared his throat, then asked, “What are you reading?”
“Oh, just another love story,” she answered, shrugging. “Trying to distract myself from the end of the world, you know?” She gave a weak laugh, looking away from Miles.
“And how have you been?” he asked, his words measured.
She raised a brow, looking back at him again. “How have I been? That’s the question you want to start with?”
“Sure.” His tone was noticeably softer. “I could think of some other questions I’d rather start with, but let’s go with that.”
Her laugh was humorless as she clutched the book in her lap, her thumb running along its spine. “I’ve been…good,” she answered. I couldn’t read the look on her face. “How have you been?”
He inhaled deeply, his chest and shoulders tensing as he answered, “Good days and bad days.”
There was a pinch in my chest at his words. It’d been, what, four, five years since he’d last seen Cielle? How could he summarize the past five years? To be honest, good days and bad days was as concise as it could be.
Miles’ eyes moved around the garden, looking everywhere but at Cielle. “You still have your harp. ”
She nodded, absentmindedly fiddling with the pages of her book. “It’s a good instrument. It might not be the prettiest, but it still plays beautiful music.”
Miles swallowed hard, and I couldn’t tell if it was pride or surprise that painted his features. “That’s… That’s great, Cielle. That’s incredible. And, it’s still… It’s the one I gave you.” He gave her a harp?
“It is.” Her words hung in the air. I rubbed a palm over my face, careful not to disturb any branches. Come on, Miles.
“And your family is doing well?” he asked. Okay, there were worse questions to ask.
“Yes. My mother and father weren’t the happiest when I decided not to wed Prince Rayner, but I think once they realized how much I truly loved playing the harp, their attitudes changed a bit. Not entirely, but they’ve been supportive.”
I was trying to keep track of the story. She’d been meant to wed Prince Rayner of Zidderune but decided to play the harp in the Royal Orchestra instead.
Miles swallowed hard, fighting to keep his face neutral at her response. “And Nieve?” he finally asked when he gained some semblance of control over himself.
Cielle blew a breath through her lips, shaking her head.
Nieve was her cousin. The one with the dark hair.
“Nieve is still Nieve. You noticed her darker hair, yes?” At Miles’ nod, she continued.
“Well, do you remember when my family left Taitha because my mother claimed she’d found a cure to what ailed Cenric?
Claimed she found a way he could walk?” Cenric… Cielle’s younger brother.
“Oh no,” Miles groaned. “A Bloodsinger? The solution was a Bloodsinger?”
“Sure was.”
“Wow. And Nieve was the one to make the sacrifice. Surprising. ”
Cielle put a hand up. “No, no. Her intentions weren’t all noble. She thought it would make her less appealing to any suitors. All it did was darken her hair though, which, in my opinion, actually suits her.”
A laugh — a true laugh — burst from Miles. It was a sound I didn’t know I needed to hear. Fuck, I wished Petra was here to witness this. But as Miles’ laughter died down, his face grew serious once again. “But Cenric… He still uses his chair. Did the sacrifice not work?”