Chapter 27
Two weeks after the warehouse, Willow’s reopens for business with Sidney behind the bar and Xela at his side, and the normalcy of it makes Sidney want to cry, which is embarrassing, so he doesn’t.
Instead he makes drinks and wipes down counters and deals with a leaking keg that has been a problem since long before his life went sideways, and it feels good.
It feels right. He’s wearing his own clothes, in his own bar, doing his own job, and the bruises are healed and the burns are healed and everything that happened feels distant enough to breathe around.
Not gone. Not forgotten. Just far enough away that he can look at it without it looking back, and that distance is enough for now.
The bar smells the way it always smells, of old wood and spilled beer and the lemon cleaner Xela uses on the countertops that she insists is professional grade and that Sidney is fairly certain is just dish soap with aspirations.
The jukebox is playing something he doesn’t recognize, something one of the regulars put on before Sidney had a chance to curate, and the lighting is warm and amber and the stools are full and the noise is the good kind, the kind that means people are where they want to be.
Xela is watching him the way she does when she’s worried but would rather be set on fire than admit it.
She’s behind the bar doing something aggressive to a garnish tray and her eyes keep moving to Sidney and then away again, and the pattern is so consistent that Sidney catches her on the third pass and raises an eyebrow.
She looks away and busies herself with something else. He smiles into the glass he’s drying.
They never had the conversation Xela promised Erath.
Or rather, they had it, but it didn’t go the way Erath probably expected.
Xela had pulled Sidney aside the day after the warehouse, while Erath was in the underworld dealing with Angelica’s spirit, and she’d looked at him with her pale sharp eyes and she’d said, “Did he hurt you?” Not what happened.
Not are you okay. Did he hurt you. Direct.
Binary. Requiring only a yes or a no and prepared to act on either.
Sidney had said, “Not on purpose. We’re working on it.”
Xela had stared at him for a long time. Then she’d said, “If he does it again, on purpose or not, I’ll kill him.”
“He’s the god of death.”
“I know what I said.”
And that had been the conversation. Short, brutal, absolute.
Xela’s version of love, which is indistinguishable from a threat and no less sincere for it.
Sidney carries it with him the way other people carry lucky coins, a small, hard thing in his pocket that reminds him someone is watching his back and would take on the impossible without hesitation if it meant keeping him safe.
August and Vale come by early in the evening.
August orders something fancier than Sidney usually gets to make and Vale orders a local IPA, because Vale is boring, and they take the booth by the window and settle in with the comfortable ease of people who have been through something together and come out the other side and can now sit in a bar and pointedly not talk about it.
Vale’s sword is absent, at least, so there's that.
Knox and Dimitri arrive next. Knox is charming, compact and blond and carrying himself with the energy of someone who genuinely enjoys being alive, which is not a quality Sidney associates with most of the religious warriors he’s met.
He orders a beer and tells Sidney the bar is “cozy,” which is the politest thing anyone has ever said about Willow’s.
Dimitri is someone Sidney is familiar with, for better or for worse.
He looks profoundly uncomfortable to be socializing with mixed company, and Sidney recognizes the discomfort of someone who has been alive too long for small talk and is enduring it out of love for the person who dragged them here.
He orders whiskey. Sidney gives him a generous pour and doesn’t charge for it, because demons who are uncomfortable at parties start shit and he doesn't need that.
Newt arrives with Malik. He’s hesitant and quiet, standing in the doorway of the bar with Malik’s hand on the small of his back and the expression of someone who is not sure they belong here but has been told otherwise.
Sidney catches his eye from behind the bar and sets up a drink without being asked, something light and simple, and when Newt reaches the counter Sidney pushes it toward him and says, “First one’s on the house. ”
Newt smiles. It’s small and genuine and it transforms his face from something guarded into something friendly and open.
He sits at the bar and Malik takes the stool beside him and rests his arm along the back of Newt’s seat in a gesture that is not possessive but protective, the arm of someone who has placed himself between this person and the world and intends to stay there.
The evening fills up with people Sidney didn’t know he needed until he met them.
He serves drinks and tells stories and listens to August and Vale argue about something inconsequential in the way that couples argue when they’ve been together long enough that the argument is the entertainment.
He watches Knox try to teach Dimitri how to use the jukebox, which goes about as well as expected, because Dimitri is a thousand-year-old demon who has witnessed the rise and fall of empires and considers a coin-operated music machine to be beneath his dignity, except that Knox is very earnest about it and Dimitri will apparently suffer any indignity if Knox is the one asking.
He hears Xela threaten a patron who looks at Newt, which she does with the ease of someone who makes a hobby out of threatening bodily harm, and which Malik seems delighted by.
It’s messy and loud and imperfect and it is the closest thing to a family Sidney has ever had.
He doesn’t say this out loud. He doesn’t need to.
It’s in the way he refills August’s glass without being asked and in the way he gives Knox a second beer on the house and in the way he checks on Newt every few minutes without making it obvious and in the way he lets Xela catch him smiling and doesn’t look away this time.
The bar is full of people who fought for him and beside him and who are here now, alive and drinking and arguing about jukeboxes, and the ordinariness of it is its own kind of miracle.
The evening winds down. The regulars filter out.
August and Vale leave with a wave and a promise to come by next week.
Knox drags Dimitri toward the door while Dimitri finishes his whiskey with the unhurried dignity of someone who will not be rushed, and Knox waits for him with a patience that suggests this is a nightly occurrence.
Newt and Malik slip out quietly, with a nod from Newt that Sidney returns, and the bar empties by degrees until it’s just Sidney and Xela and the residue of a good night.
Sidney is wiping down the last table, the one by the door that always gets sticky because the varnish is peeling and someone keeps putting their drinks directly on the wood despite the coasters that Sidney provides for exactly this purpose.
Xela is in the back doing whatever Xela does when she closes, which involves a lot of clanking and the occasional muttered profanity.
The jukebox has gone quiet. The lights are low.
The door opens.
“We’re closed,” Sidney says without looking up, which is a lie because the door was unlocked, but it’s almost midnight and he’s tired and whoever it is can come back tomorrow.
“I know,” says a voice that makes his pulse jump, and he looks up and Erath is standing in the doorway.
He’s wearing his leather jacket with the hood down, for once, and the overhead light catches the sharp lines of his face and the dark of his hair and the expression he’s wearing, which is the faintest hint of a smile that exists more and more often these days.
And Penny is at his side in a princess dress she probably refused to take off, holding his hand and beaming at Sidney with the full wattage of a five-year-old who knows she is up past her bedtime and is getting away with it and considers this an extraordinary personal victory.
“We came to walk you home,” Penny announces.
Sidney sets down his rag. He crosses his arms and looks at Erath, who is leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed in a mirror of Sidney’s posture, and the smile is still there, quiet and sure, and something about it undoes Sidney in a way that the grand gestures never have.
It’s not the smile of a god. It’s not the smile of someone ancient and powerful and dangerous.
It’s the smile of a man who has come to pick someone up at the end of their shift, and the domesticity of it, the sheer mundane beauty of it, makes Sidney’s heart do something complicated in his chest.
“I don’t walk home with strange men,” Sidney tells him, and the words land exactly where they’re supposed to, in the space between the first night and this one.
Erath’s smile widens, just a fraction. “We both know that’s not true.”
Sidney huffs out a laugh, shaking his head, and grabs his jacket from behind the bar.
He tells Xela he’s leaving and she says something cutting from the back that he chooses not to hear, though he’s fairly certain it includes the phrase “always leaving early” and possibly a creative insult directed at Erath’s fashion sense.
He comes around the bar and Penny reaches for his hand immediately, the way she always does, with the confidence of a child who has never once considered the possibility that the hand won’t be there.
He takes it. Her fingers are small and warm and they wrap around his with the fierce, uncomplicated grip that he has come to understand is not just a hold but a claim.
She claimed him weeks ago, in this bar, with the raw and unquestioning logic of a child who decided this person is safe and made it true.
Erath offers his arm.
He links his arm through Erath’s.
Penny skips beside them, swinging their joined hands with the exuberant energy of a child who is up past her bedtime and walking through the city at night and considers this the greatest adventure of her life.
The streetlights don’t flicker. The air is warm.
The city is quiet, and the walk to the subway entrance is unhurried and easy, three people moving through the night without looking over their shoulders.
The entrance, when they reach it, doesn’t feel cold or wrong or unwelcoming.
The barred-off stairs sit at the mouth of the side street the way they always do, unremarkable to anyone who can’t see them for what they are, but the chill that used to drift up from below has softened into something familiar, something that registers not as the presence of death but as the temperature of a place that belongs to them.
It feels, for the first time, the way the front door of a house feels when you’ve been gone all day and the lights are on inside.
It feels like coming home.
They descend the stairs together, the three of them, and the dark doesn’t feel cold at all.