Chapter 13 #2
“I chew the leaves, which are to be found all over this prairie. I have done so most of my life, as is common with my people. Mint is a good medicine, for it aids one in social surroundings, and it helps with a stomachache too.”
“Do you have a stomachache?”
“No, but when you sit near me, as you do now, I often feel as though I have leaped from a high cliff.”
“Do you?” At his words, an involuntary quiver raced over her skin. “Sometimes I feel the same way too…about you.”
“Truly?”
Suzette didn’t answer. Alas, she was afraid to do so, if only because she craved more from this man than she cared to admit, and it was something so very sensual. And a proper young lady didn’t speak of such matters, did she?
In the end, she chose a safe topic. “But you have no need for the mint, I think, for your breath is quite…invigorating.”
“Invigorating?” He seemed to mull over the meaning of this word. “It is good you feel this way. In the days of old, before the white man’s liquor stole away our vigor, a warrior took pride in all matters concerning his appearance, and such included the way he was perceived by others.”
She nodded. “Yes.” Because she grew tired of trying to second-guess herself and him, she threw away all caution, and whispered, “Kiss me again.”
He was not slow on the uptake, and within moments he had enfolded her fully in his arms, bringing her body in close to his. “Let us make ourselves comfortable.”
To this end, he eased her onto the ground, which was made soft by the pine needles, leaves and snow.
He did not raise himself over her fully, but rather lay by her side, with only his upper body pressed to hers. “Is your position comfortable?” he asked, even while he smoothed his lips against her cheek, then moved steadily toward her ear.
“Somewhat,” she answered softly, barely able to think when his lips were making magic over her. “I do believe, however, that a pillow would be quite to my liking.”
He at once obliged her by removing his jacket, folding it carefully and placing it under her head. Immediately, the scent of horseflesh, fresh air and the unmistakable fragrance of his distinct masculinity assailed her. Excitement burst within her. But all she said was, “It’s perfect.”
They shared a sweet smile, until at last she said, “I feel I should like to inform you I have been searching within myself for…courage.”
“Courage?”
“Yes. I fear that if I tell you what is happening with me, you will not like me very much.”
“Not like you? Such will never happen, for I already like you. Nothing can change my feelings for you. Nacece, I have liked you from the very first moment I ever saw you.”
“Have you? Still, I am uncertain.”
“I understand, but tell me anyway. I promise, regardless of what you say, I will always like you.”
“Truly?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “I have your word?”
He nodded. “You have my word.”
With as much dignity as she could muster, she said, “Very well. It is this: I do believe if you were to agree, I should not object to having an affair with you.”
“An affair? Ah, I see.” He grinned at her. “But we already have an affair,” he countered, and even as he said it, he leaned down to kiss her, an overture she returned eagerly.
Coming up for breath, she thought she should be very clear on the subject. “I think I mean more than an affair.”
“More?”
“Like…the marriage bed…perhaps…”
He was quiet for a long, long time. She became nervous.
At length, however, slipping down to lay by her side, he murmured, “I, too, would like to have this pleasure, very much. But you must know I am bound by honor. An honest man does not take his pleasure with a woman who is with child. After you have the babe—”
“Yes, yes, of course. I am certain you are right about this. I should never have mentioned it.”
“Hiya, no, my heart is happy to hear you feel free to speak to me about this. We should always be honest with each other. And perhaps it is not wise for me to tell you this: I, too, crave the same as you. But there are some acts a man must not do when a woman is in your condition.”
“Yes, again you know best, I am sure.”
“But it does not mean,” he continued as though she hadn’t spoken, “that I cannot kiss you like this.” No sooner had he said it than he opened his mouth over hers, his tongue dipping inside, tasting every inch of her, while his hand eased over her cheeks, her eyes, her ears, tracing over her nose, on down to her lips, which were plump and wet from his kisses.
His hand continued its journey down to her neck, to her chest, which was more exposed than usual due to the cut of her evening gown.
She moaned. “Feels so good.”
“Hau, it does.”
She smiled, and, as he returned the gesture, he made a foray over her, moving his hand downward, avoiding her chest—as though in respect to her—but coming to rest on her stomach. He whispered, “How is the little one? Does he stir?”
“I have not felt very much, but it is still somewhat early in my pregnancy, and I am told I may not be aware of his or her movements until I am a few more weeks along.”
He nodded slightly. “If he moves, I would ask that you come and seek me out, no matter where I am, for I would like to feel this also.”
“I will do so,” she murmured, realizing any tendency she might have had in the past to remind him about the child not being his had evaporated within her.
“Are you eating the right foods?” he asked.
“I eat well.”
“But you must dine on very specific foods when you are with child. Foods which will ensure he will be healthy. Meat from the buffalo and certain plants should be part of your diet, for these will aid his growth and nourish his spirit.”
“Truly? I have not been aware of this. And these foods are commonly known amongst your people?”
“All of our women know and seek to learn this knowledge when they are carrying a child. If you would like, I will ask someone from my tribe, for they will remember what these special foods are. And then if it pleases you, I will seek out these foods for you. Tell me, do you keep your thoughts on deeds which are happy?”
“I try to do so, but it is not always so easy.”
“But it is good that you try. For you would want your child healthy of mind, as well, I think.”
“Yes,” she agreed, patting her stomach.
He took her hand in his. “I will seek out the wisdom from the old women of my tribe. And now I think I should take you back.”
“Back? So soon?” Wasn’t the night only beginning? Why did he want to take her back?
“It may be soon to return you to the party, but I feel it is the right action for me to take.”
“Why? Why do you say this? Mr. Cody’s festivity means nothing to me and I have been enjoying myself…with you.”
“I too,” he said, although he was frowning. “Perhaps though a little too much. It would be a simple deed for me to take advantage of you, especially after your confession to me this night.”
“But—”
“I must not encourage you into lovemaking. Understand this: many times the old men of my tribe have told us boys that to take a woman who is carrying a child is bad. It could harm the child, and it might cause the mother to miscarry. It could incite both of their deaths. I would not take the risk with you.”
“But my doctor said I could…without risk to the child.”
Black Lion was silent for a moment, until at last he nodded.
“The white man’s ways are strange to us, for a Lakota man would never seek his pleasure from a pregnant wife, for fear of damaging both…
if not physically, then perhaps spiritually.
But know this, if my honor did not keep me from it, you would not have to offer yourself to me, for we would have already made love… now…always…”
She swallowed. “Black Lion… Thank you…I think.”
“You do not need to thank me. It is the way I have been taught.”
She scoffed a little, blowing out her breath. “I was raised knowing I should save myself for my wedding night—and look at what I have done. As you say, you may have been raised in a particular way, but you honor it. And there’s the difference.” She bobbed her head. “There’s the difference.”
“Do not blame yourself for what has happened to you. The roles of men and women are often opposed, and because of the way a man is, he will try to seek his pleasure regardless of his respect for the woman or her reputation. But if a man loves a woman, it is his duty to draw a line when it comes to passion, for it is well known a maiden pushed too far is easily convinced. It is why she must be so carefully guarded by her family. An honorable man marries the girl of his choice.” He grinned at her.
“Please recall this again: I married you.”
“Yes, so you did.”
His smile turned solemn. “And now we should go back, while I still possess the will to stop.”
“I suppose you are right, and I am certain you have more experience than I do in this matter. But come, it is dark here, the moon is shining in a very romantic way, and I am wanting one more kiss. Surely you could afford to give me a kiss without…”
He inhaled deeply, but he nodded all the same. “Perhaps I could do it,” he said judiciously.
She caught her breath as he bent over her and positioned his open lips over her own.