Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
NOAH
Noah exhaled. The relief in his mother’s eyes and his father’s embrace lingered, deepening the sense of guilt he felt. By staying away, he’d made things easier for himself, not them.
He got it. They loved him. Wanted to help. But that meant questions. Questions he wasn’t ready to answer.
Another self-serving and cowardly move? Hiding behind Teagan. Bringing her along had done exactly what he’d hoped—deflected the spotlight away from him. But she didn’t want their focus any more than he did. Maybe even less.
And now, based on that last murmured comment, she was regretting the decision to accompany him. Not that he blamed her.
Aloud, he asked, “Why do you say that?”
Teagan lifted her face to the sky, blinking against the soft white flakes that landed on her lashes. “They’re so nice.”
It wasn’t the recrimination he’d expected. He frowned, confused. “That’s a bad thing?”
“I feel like a fraud, Noah.”
“You said hello. That can hardly be considered deceit.”
“They think we’re together.”
Yes, he knew. And he hadn’t done anything to correct the misconception because it might keep them off his back. He rationalized that it wasn’t a completely selfish dick move. If they believed he’d found someone to pull him out of his own shadows, they’d worry less.
As he looked down at Teagan now, with her pink nose and snowflake-covered lashes, he realized that her presence wasn’t only distracting his family but himself as well. He’d been so focused on her over the last forty-eight hours that he’d hardly wallowed in his own problems.
The respite would only last a couple of days, though. After Christmas, they’d go their separate ways, and he’d tell his parents that things hadn’t worked out.
Noah rubbed absently at the unexpected pang in his chest.
Teagan glanced back at the house, then at him. “This is what you were talking about when you said having me along would take some of the heat off you, isn’t it? I’m not just a diversion. You want them to think we’re seeing each other.”
He added perceptive to his growing list of Teagan’s admirable traits.
“Yes,” he confirmed. “But that’s not the only reason.”
“Oh? Why else—”
Noah cut her off before she could finish. She wouldn’t like the answer. He wasn’t sure he did either. “Come on,” he said, pulling her toward the back of the house. “I wasn’t kidding about getting a tree.”
The stables were located about a hundred yards beyond the main house, attached to a huge barn that was three stories high.
Six well-kept stalls lined the leftmost wall, only three of which were currently occupied.
On the right side, Alex and Adam were attaching the last bindings to an old-fashioned white wooden sled, big enough to hold several people.
“Is that … a one-horse open sleigh?” Teagan gasped, gaping wide-eyed at the hard-carved sled.
“Two-horse actually,” Noah told her proudly. “My grandfather was a master craftsman. It’s rare we have enough snow on Christmas to use it. The kids love it.”
“I bet,” Teagan murmured, running her hands along the intricate, detailed carvings. “It’s beautiful.”
Eli came around from the back, leading a large white mare with a tawny-colored mane toward the front harness. As Noah had hoped, Teagan was drawn to her instantly, stroking the animal’s neck. The horse dipped her head and nuzzled Teagan, snorting softly.
“I think she likes you,” said Eli, smiling.
Daniel came around from the far stall, shaking his head. “Sorry, guys. I don’t think Chester’s up for it tonight. We’ll have to go with Aspen.”
“Mom mentioned he hasn’t been himself lately,” Noah said. “What’s going on?”
“The vet thinks it might be age-related arthritis.”
“Let Teagan meet him,” Noah suggested. “Mona calls her a horse whisperer.”
Daniel looked doubtful but nodded. Teagan followed quietly. So quietly that Daniel jumped back a step when he turned around and found her right there behind him.
Noah chuckled knowingly. “Yeah, she does that.”
Daniel smiled. “You’d think we’d be used to that with Alex skulking around, except he’s a little harder to miss.”
The fourteen-hand chestnut roan with a dark black mane turned its soulful brown eyes toward Teagan and pawed the ground.
“Careful,” Eli warned.
“Hello, handsome boy,” Teagan murmured.
The horse’s ears twitched.
“Can I come in there with you?” she asked.
Chester nickered and backed up a step.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Daniel said, but Teagan ignored him.
He looked toward Noah for support. Noah simply shook his head and mouthed the word, Watch.
Teagan eased onto the stall gate in a smooth, graceful move, keeping her body weight on her right leg, and perched on the beam, eye level with the roan. She began stroking his nose, whispering words too quiet to hear. Noah saw the shift—the roan’s ears flicked, and he leaned into her touch.
“Adam”—Eli spoke in a low tone—“you’ve got to see this.”
Chester lowered his head, pressing it against Teagan’s chest. She continued to run her hands along his neck, adding gentle scratches behind his ears. The animal snorted, and it sounded like a heavy sigh. The next moment, she’d swung herself onto his back.
“Holy shit,” Adam murmured, while Noah looked on with something like pride.
Alex joined them noiselessly, watching with interest.
“You can’t ride him, Teagan. The vet said his back can’t take it anymore,” Daniel told her regretfully.
“Maybe you can’t,” she told him, taking in his huge frame, “but I can.” She scooted higher so that most of her weight rested on the roan’s shoulders instead of his back.
“Trust her, Daniel,” Noah said, thinking of what Teagan had been able to accomplish with that hellion back at Hopewell. “Open the gate.”
“What about a saddle?” Eli asked.
Noah smiled. “She doesn’t need one.”
His brothers were going to see some of the magic he’d seen on Mona’s ranch.
Daniel shook his head and opened the gate reluctantly. “Fine, but he’s not going anywhere. The vet wants us to do therapy, but we haven’t been able to get him out of his stall for days.”
The moment the gate swung open, Chester stepped out and walked calmly toward the double doors leading outside.
“We won’t be long,” Teagan said matter-of-factly. “He just wants to see the snow.”
Teagan and Chester went out into the night. The moment he was outside, the horse neighed loudly and lifted his head to the sky. Teagan laughed and patted his neck.
“I wouldn’t believe it if I wasn’t seeing it with my own eyes,” Eli said from the open doorway as Chester cantered around.
“I swear that horse is prancing,” Adam said.
“He is,” Daniel agreed. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“What do you know about her?” Alex asked quietly, standing beside his twin as they watched Chester take Teagan around.
“I know she’s damn good with horses.”
“Clearly, if Mona hired her. What else? What’s her last name? Where’s she from?” Alex asked.
“Why?”
Alex shrugged, his eyes following Teagan’s every movement. “I’m concerned. You haven’t been in a good place since you came back.”
“You’re questioning my judgment now?”
“You’re hiding out at a ranch in Kentucky, avoiding everyone, and suddenly, you show up at Christmas with a woman you’ve never mentioned. You knew there would be questions.”
Noah said nothing.
Long moments passed in silence before Alex sighed and said quietly, “She’s hiding something.”
Yeah, no shit. “Aren’t we all?”
“You don’t know anything about her, do you?” Another sigh, this one tinged with frustration. “Damn it, Noah. You’re too trusting.”
Noah felt the words like a stab to the gut. “I know she’s running, but not what she’s running from,” he admitted. “Only that it must be pretty bad. She nearly killed herself trying to get away when the local sheriff came to the ranch, asking about her.”
“Seriously?” Alex asked in disbelief. “This didn’t ring any warning bells for you?”
Not the kind Alex was talking about. Noah had been doubting himself since that fuckup in Afghanistan, but every instinct he possessed told him Teagan was a victim, not an offender.
“Let it go, Alex.”
“She’s haunted,” Alex pressed. “What’s got her spooked? And is it going to come back and bite you—us—on the ass?”
Noah’s expression hardened. “Back off. I mean it.”
More silence, until Alex said, “I can find out, you know.”
Noah’s eyes met Teagan’s, and she smiled at him as she led Chester back toward the stables. Truly smiled. She had to be hurting, but the look on her face was one of peace and, if not happiness, then at least contentment.
He wanted to see more of it. What if he could do something to make that happen?
Alex might be able to help. Whereas Noah had chosen to pursue a medical career in the service, Alex had gone the clandestine, high-risk ops route. He had access to things no one should have access to.
Did they dare?
Going behind Teagan’s back to find answers she wasn’t willing to provide would be an invasion of privacy at best, an unforgivable betrayal of trust at worst. His intentions were good, yes, but wasn’t there a saying about the road to hell being paved with good intentions?
“No,” Noah said finally. He didn’t want to chance shattering the fragile trust between them. If Teagan wanted his help, he’d be there in a heartbeat, but it had to be her decision, not his.
“All I need is a last name. I can take it from there. You won’t be betraying any confidences if you tell me her name, will you?”
Noah shifted his weight uncomfortably. “I don’t know her last name,” he admitted.
Alex ran his hand through his hair—a sure sign that he was trying to control his irritation. “She worked at the ranch with you, right? I can find out from there.”
Noah shook his head. “I doubt she used her real name.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Alex hissed angrily. “What kind of woman works under a false name?”
“The kind who’s had to,” Teagan answered from right behind Alex.
Eli was leading Chester back into his stall, looking back toward them uncomfortably.
Silver flames flashed in her blue eyes as she looked defiantly up at Alex, hands on hips. “So, do you want to call the cops now? Or are you going to be a sport and give me a one-day head start if I promise to leave in the next five minutes?”
Alex glared at her with an intensity that had forced many grown men to wet themselves, yet she didn’t flinch.
“I protect what’s mine,” he said, his voice a low, dangerous rumble.
“Good to know,” she answered.
“What’s your last name?” he asked boldly.
“Alex!” Noah warned.
Teagan’s expression went neutral. “He’s being a good brother, Noah. He loves you. You can’t be angry at him for that.”
She walked away then, and Alex blinked.
“You can be such a dick sometimes,” Noah muttered as he jogged to catch up to Teagan.