Chapter 37
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Trevor
It’s a girl.
We’re having a daughter.
I’m going to be a dad.
Those three phrases have been swirling around in my head for over an hour as I lay here trying to absorb them.
I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. But in a good way.
Two days ago—hell, yesterday even—I wasn’t even sure I wanted a wife.
A family. Yet now, I’m positive I can’t see a future without them.
Could Ava have been onto something when she asked if delivering the baby triggered something inside me?
Maybe it did on a subconscious level. It’s hard not to have hope that it did, and that soon, the floodgates of my past will open up.
Even if they don’t, I feel we’ve turned a corner. We’re on a new path, one I’m excited to go down.
After a shower, I go downstairs and make myself a coffee, then steal a croissant from the case. I glance across the room to see Ava chatting with a customer out front. She’s laughing and there’s this glow about her. Has there always been and I’m just now noticing it? Or is this also something new?
She catches me watching and smiles. I smile back, lean against the counter, and continue to stare as she floats effortlessly around the shop, cleaning a table, straightening a picture on the wall, filling a napkin dispenser, sweeping crumbs off the floor.
I love that she’s the owner, the manager, yet she happily does menial tasks instead of directing others to do them.
I really like this about her. It speaks to how real and down to earth she is.
It makes me think I can trust that what I see is what I get.
“Something’s definitely different about her today.
” I turn to find Jason behind me, also staring at Ava.
Then he turns his attention to me. “Probably because you’re back.
” His brows dip low and his stare on me hardens.
“Are you back? Or are you going to run away again? Because I know I’m going out of my lane here, but you really did a number on her when you left.
It was almost like you died all over again.
But in a way it was worse, because this time you chose to leave. ”
He squares off with me like he expects push back. But how can I be pissed at him when everything he just said is true? Still, I’m not sure I like how protective he’s being of my wife.
I scoff to myself when I realize just how protective I’m being of my wife. Hell, I barely even thought of her as my wife until last night.
I motion for him to follow me into the back room, not wanting Ava to see us if this turns into an argument.
In the office, I don’t sit down behind the desk.
Instead, I lean my ass against it. Because somehow, I feel me sitting and him standing might give him the upper hand.
I don’t know this guy from Adam. All I can do is trust Ava when she says they’ve never been anything more than friends.
“Listen.” I run a hand through my hair. “I get how everyone thinks I’m the bad guy here.
But it would be nice if you tried to put yourself in my position for one fucking second.
I woke up one day and had this entire life I didn’t remember.
Nobody could ever understand that until they’ve been through it.
“Imagine you open your eyes one day, not even knowing your name, but someone tells you you’re the assistant manager at a coffee house, you’re going to school for your masters degree, the people at your bedside are your parents, and you live in a little town where everybody knows everything about you.
Everybody except you. Do you think you’d just roll over and do everything people told you to do?
Show up at work and serve coffee like nothing ever happened?
Do you think you’d know how to be a friend to someone you didn’t remember?
Know how to be a child to parents you feel nothing for? ”
I push off the desk and pace behind it, using it as a barrier between us.
“It’s been two months since I woke up a stranger to myself.
I’m thirty-five years old, and the extent of my memories goes back eight goddamn weeks.
Have you even stopped to think about what that does to a person?
So sue me if I needed to take a minute to breathe when I found out the wife I barely know is carrying a baby I didn’t know I wanted. ”
He looks utterly stunned. “Ava’s pregnant?”
My head falls back and I look at the ceiling. “Ah, shit. I thought you knew.”
He sits on one of the chairs across from the desk. “Wow. I mean, I guess that explains a lot.”
I step around the desk and shut the door. “Don’t tell her I told you. I’m guessing if you didn’t know, she hasn’t told anyone else.”
“Yeah, sure. But… how? I didn’t even know you guys were sleeping together until right before you took off.”
“It happened before the accident. Embryo transfer.”
He nods, finally understanding. “And she didn’t tell you, so you skipped town when you found out.
” His head shakes. “Don’t be too hard on her for keeping it a secret.
Knowing Ava, she was most likely waiting for your memory to come back.
That or she just wanted to see if you were still compatible.
I don’t blame her really. You came back a totally different person.
Maybe she wasn’t even sure you were father material.
Could be she was protecting the baby. Or her own heart. Probably a little of both.”
“I get it. Maybe I didn’t before, but I do now. So yeah, I intend to stick around.”
He stands and extends a hand. “I guess congratulations are in order.”
I shake. “Thanks. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. But don’t get me wrong, I’m happy. And I’m in this.”
“Well, actions speak louder than words, my friend.”
My friend.
“I know we got off on the wrong foot when I came back, but Ava said you and I were friendly before. Did we ever hang out?”
“Not really. But you weren’t in Calloway Creek much. When you were, you’d spend your time with Ava, or Carter Cruz. Sometimes Jaxon Calloway.”
“Well, if you think you might have room for another friend, do you want to go for a drink sometime?”
Jason smirks, but it’s a friendly one. “I think that could be arranged.”
“Great. I’ll set something up. A guys’ night at that bar down the street.”
“Pub,” he says, laughing. “Do not let Donny Donovan catch you calling his pub a bar.” He thumbs to the door. “I’d better get back out there before Ava comes looking for me. And don’t worry, I won’t say anything.”
“Thanks, man.”
After he leaves, I eat my breakfast and drink my coffee and try to start the next module in my training. But my mind is anywhere but there. It’s on what Ava said this morning. That instead of everyone telling me who I should be, I need to start showing them who I am, who I want to be.
The problem is… do I even know?
I know I want to be a doctor again one day. Even if I hadn’t already decided, delivering that baby yesterday would have pushed me over the edge.
And I know I want her. And I want to be a good man. For her. For them.
Knowing I won’t get any studying done today, I decide to take the afternoon and go back to the cabin. I need to get the rest of my things. Wash the sheets and towels. Throw out old food. Leave the place the way I found it.
“I have to run a few errands,” I tell Ava when she pops her head into the office. “I’ll be back before dark. How about I bring dinner? Are you having any cravings?”
She smiles. I know why. I’m acknowledging the pregnancy, and she likes it.
“Have you been to Donovan’s Pub yet?”
I chuckle. “No, but I’m pretty sure I just made plans to meet Jason there in the not-so-distant future. And maybe I’ll invite some of the other guys.”
Her smile grows. “Sounds like a good time. But about that craving… Donovan’s makes a French dip sandwich to die for. So if you’re offering…”
I cross the room and trap her against the wall.
“I’m offering.” I lean down and not-so-subtly inhale her scent.
Flowers, coffee beans, body wash. I kiss her supple neck just beneath her ear.
“I’ll get your French dip sandwich.” I pull back and gaze into her alluring brown eyes.
“But let’s be clear, dessert will not be coming from Donovan’s.
And rest assured, it’ll be a veritable feast that will be leaving us both begging for more. ”
Her breath hitches. Her chest rises. Her cheeks pink.
I have the urge to ask her if the old me would have said such a thing.
Her reaction makes me think I wouldn’t have.
So I resist the temptation to find out. Because just like she wanted, I’m showing her who I want to be, regardless of who I was.
And based on the look in her eyes, she’s more than willing to accept this part of me.
Score one for Trevor 2.0