Chapter 20
This Doesn’t Change Anything
I hope Santa brings you everything you could possibly wish for this year. I miss our holiday traditions. —Lots of love, Enzo
Izzy
It’s been almost a month and a half since Lucas and his friends dumped me on the side of the road, hoping I was dead.
I hate that I’m still hiding away, keeping a low profile. It stalls our progress with taking down Lucas’s operations, but it’s a necessary delay while we work out how he knew of our plans.
It’s Christmas Eve.
Massimo invited us over, along with many of their men. It’s a huge celebration. A little intimidating, can’t lie. There’s loud chatter everywhere, people in every direction.
I’m stuffed full, having eaten my weight in fish for Il Cenone di Vigilia, also known as Feast of The Seven Fishes. It’s an Italian tradition; one I haven’t partaken in since Papa died.
Enzo and Dante are deep in conversation, leaving Noemi and me to catch up.
“How are you doing?” Noemi asks quietly.
I shrug. “Better, less jumpy.”
I ended up confessing everything to her a few weeks ago when she stopped by with more clothes for me.
“Good.” She waggles her eyebrows. “And you and Enzo?”
I groan, heat flaming my cheeks.
She smirks, eyes twinkling with delight. “Oh my god, something happened.”
“No,” I hiss. “Well, maybe. Not really. We kissed,” I admit in a hushed whisper. “And maybe he ate me out after I killed a guy,” I mumble, the words tumbling out quickly.
She whispers-squeals, and I shush her.
“That’s good, isn’t it?”
I hum in my throat. “Not really. We both agreed it was a mistake.”
“Why?”
“Because it could ruin the friendship.”
Noemi rolls her eyes. “Orrrrrr, it could turn into an amazing relationship.”
My heart drums in my chest. “Or it could end in disaster, and we go another twenty years without contact.”
She clucks at me. “Can’t live your life without risk.”
I shake my head subtly. “I don’t know…”
She nudges me with her shoulder. “You can’t go your whole life without telling him. You’ll regret it.”
“Like you’re any better,” I snort.
She flicks me.
“Ow!”
“I’m not in love with anyone. So, it’s different. Plus, I put myself out there. I had seven dates last week.”
I choke on my wine. “Seven?!”
Several heads turn to us at my outburst. We wave them off, smiling sheepishly.
“Yep. Didn’t have to pay for dinner all week.”
“Any of them worthy candidates?”
Noemi frowns. “Nah. But at least I got some orgasms out of it.”
I raise my fist to my mouth, smirking. “Cough. Slut.”
Enzo chooses that moment to catch my eye, smiling softly at me. I return it with one of my own.
“You ready to go?” he mouths.
I nod. I really am. This has been nice, but I’m exhausted.
He stands, offering me a hand, which I take. The two of us say goodbye to Massimo, and some other people I don’t recall the names of, on the way out.
The drive home is quiet, Enzo focusing on the road. I can’t help but watch the flex of his muscles as he drives, his shirt sleeves rolled up to reveal his smooth skin.
“Do you remember Christmas when we were kids?” I ask him, breaking the silence.
He laughs quietly. “You mean when we would go for a midnight walk, trying to catch Santa bringing presents?”
The memory of a small Enzo running through the streets with me as we’d scan the rooftops for reindeers has me grinning madly.
“We never did catch him,” I laugh.
Enzo steers the car into his parking space. “Maybe this year?” he asks, turning to me.
I tilt my head. “You’re serious?”
Once he’s out of the car, he moves around to my side and opens my door. “Come on, for old times’ sake?”
Hand-in-hand we walk the streets of New York, craning our necks to catch a glimpse of Santa on the skyscraper roofs.
By the time we get home my belly hurts from laughing so hard at Enzo pretending to see him then covering my eyes so I wouldn’t notice he was pointing at nothing.
Despite the awkwardness after… well everything, this feels like maybe our friendship isn’t ruined. That we’re still us.
The intercom buzzes just as I’m settling onto the couch, mug of hot chocolate in hand. The thick, Italian kind that feels like you’re drinking melted chocolate.
“Mr. Russo, you have guests,” I hear Henry tell Enzo.
My nose scrunches. Guests?
“What guests?” Enzo growls into the phone.
“Your sister… and friends.”
I freeze, eyes widening.
Enzo tells Henry to send them up.
“Your sister is here?” I ask, setting my mug down to follow Enzo into the hall.
He shrugs, looking as confused as I am. “Guess so?”
I thank God that I’m wearing actual clothes after tonight's dinner, rather than my usual attire of Enzo’s shirts and panties—mine, not his.
The elevator doors ping open, revealing a group of four.
The first to step out is a woman with dark red hair and an unmistakable baby bump, partially hidden beneath loose-fitting dungarees. She has to be Tess—his sister.
Behind her is a tall man, almost Enzo’s height. He’s dressed in sweatpants and a plain t-shirt, but there’s nothing relaxed about him. His posture is rigid, his gaze alert.
Next comes a man in jeans and a button-down shirt, his hair falling in an artfully messy sweep over his forehead.
He’s holding the hand of the last woman—her pastel pink hair a striking contrast to the rest of the group. She barrels past the rest and flies into Enzo’s arms. He catches her easily.
Jealousy spikes hot in my chest.
Her face is oddly familiar but I can't work out why.
“Ahhh, I’ve missed you,” she squeals as he sets her down, stepping back as the second man swings an arm around her shoulders while shaking Enzo’s hand.
Tess hugs him next, albeit more gently. Then the sweatpants man gives him a half hug.
I shuffle awkwardly on my feet as everyone’s attention falls to me.
“Oh my god! Are we interrupting?” Tess asks. “I knew we should have called ahead, but I really wanted to surprise you. It’s been ages since I’ve seen my big brother. But we’ve interrupted your date. I’m so sorry, should we go and—”
“Good lord, take a breather woman,” Enzo huffs, running a hand over his face in exasperation. “Izzy lives here, it’s fine.”
Everyone’s mouths open in quadruple expressions of shock.
The pink haired girl speaks first. “Enzo,” she admonishes, whacking him on the chest. “Did you get a girlfriend without telling me?”
“Oh, no. We’re not together,” I’m quick to correct. As much as I wish it were true. “We’re just friends.”
“She was my best friend growing up,” Enzo explains, moving to wrap an arm around my shoulders. “Everyone, this is Isolde, or Izzy.”
They all murmur hellos.
“Iz, this is Kai,” he points to the sweatpants man, “Carina,” pink hair, “and Nate. I’m sure you’ve guessed that this is my sister, Tess.” He nods at her.
I give a little wave to say hi.
We settle into the living room. Carina demands Enzo make her a hot chocolate after seeing mine.
It’s a little squished, despite the lavish size, so I end up squashed between Enzo and Carina.
“Well, this is cozy,” Nate states, laughing to break through the slightly awkward tension.
“How come you guys are here?” Enzo asks, shifting to pull me into his lap so I’m more comfortable. I try to fight him off, feeling awkward sitting on him in front of so many people, but he holds me firm, muscles tensing around me to keep me in place.
Tess is the one to answer. “Well, it’s Kai’s birthday tomorrow, and I thought it would be a fun treat for him to come to New York.”
Kai snorts. “Yeah right, Hurricane. Don’t pretend this trip is for anyone but yourself.”
She pouts. “It’s a little about me. But also, for you.”
He rolls his eyes at her, kissing her forehead and holding a hand lovingly on her bump.
Enzo squeezes my waist, leaning in to whisper, “You okay?”
I nod, melting back into him. “Yeah, your friends are a lot.”
He chuckles. “Nah, it’s only Tess that’s a lot, the others are pretty chill.”
“So,” Nate starts, “what’s the plan for sleeping arrangements?”
Enzo glowers at him. “You guys can stay in one of the empty apartments.”
Tess pouts at him. “But I want to wake up with us all in the same place.”
“There isn’t enough space,” Enzo explains. “I only have one guest room and Izzy is using it.”
Tess deflates.
“You can sleep in my room. I can take the sofa,” I offer, hating the sadness in her expression.
“Oh no, I don’t want to kick you out of your room.” She waves a hand at me dismissively. “It’s okay, we can sleep downstairs.”
My mind races.
“Unless…” All eyes snap to me. “I could sleep in Enzo’s room?”
“Where would he sleep?” Tess asks, some excitement returning.
I blush. “We used to share a bed all the time as kids—it’s not a big deal.”
Lies. Now, whenever we sleep together, every nerve in my body wakes up. And yet, somehow, I feel calmer than I ever have before.
Tess considers my offer. She nods. “Okay, so you and Enzo in his room, Kai and me in the spare—pregnancy perks, sorry not sorry—and Nate and Cari on the sofa bed.”
Everyone shrugs, on board, except Enzo. I wait for his reaction.
He looks at me, expression filled without something I can't quite explain. I'm almost convinced he's going to say no. Then he sighs, as though the answer pains him. “Alright, fine.”
Tess squeals, running over to hug him, which is awkward given my position, so I end up with a mouthful of baby bump. “Yay!”
Enzo
Izzy’s soft, warm body is next to mine, curled up on the edge of the bed, as far from me as she can get. She’s not asleep. She’s never this still in her sleep.
“Iz,” I whisper, keeping my voice low.
“Yeah?”
“Come cuddle me?” I hate how whiny I sound.
She huffs a quiet laugh. Hesitates. Then slowly turns, resting her head on my chest, one leg thrown over mine.
The clock on the nightstand reads one in the morning.
“Merry Christmas,” I murmur, holding her tightly.
She tilts her head up to meet my eyes. “Merry Christmas.”
Her lips part as her sleepy gaze drifts over my face.
Fuck.
I lean down and press my lips to hers. She moans, gasping softly into my mouth, letting me deepen it.