Chapter 45 Something Feels Off
Something Feels Off
They want me to be someone new here, but all I want is to be the boy who laughed with you. —Enzo
Izzy
Pregnant.
It’s not hard to miss.
It says it right there on the screen.
Right next to where it says 6+ weeks.
My birth control has never failed me. And yet…
Fuck.
Everyone knows antibiotics fucks with contraception. Still, it didn’t even cross my mind.
The mental math isn’t hard. Six weeks ago was when we were in England for Carina’s birthday.
I’m thirty-four years old and have been working on undercover jobs for the past twelve years with no real end in sight. At this point I’d almost given up on my dreams of being a mother.
I press my hand to my stomach, fingers trembling.
I’m scared. There’s a lot that could go wrong. But when I turn my face to the mirror in front of me, I smile.
Enzo will be happy, I think. I hope so anyway. I know he wasn't sure about bringing a child into his lifestyle, but I can't imagine him being angry about it.
Stuffing the test into my pocket, hiding it until I figure out how to tell him, I splash some water on my face before heading downstairs.
Massimo is in the living room when I enter. He smiles warmly. “Morning, Isolde. How are you feeling?”
I gulp. “Much better, thank you.”
I’ve been feeling rough ever since the wedding; I should have clocked on sooner. I spent our honeymoon throwing up, then felt fine the second we got home—I’m an idiot.
“Good. Come sit.” He pats the sofa beside him.
I do so gingerly.
“What’s up?”
“Just checking in.”
I scrunch my face up.
He laughs. “Okay, you’re right, that was lame. I’m wondering what you want to do about Phoenix?”
“Oh.”
If I’m being honest, I’d kind of forgotten about it. Too much other stuff going on.
Guilt floods me.
“You don’t have to decide now. I’m just doing operative allocations for a new case—am I putting you on it?”
“I—” I snap my mouth closed. “I don’t know.”
Massimo pats my thigh gently.
“That’s okay. I’ll leave you out of it for now—maybe a break would be good for you, anyway. Plus, Marcus is still out there…”
My shoulders tighten.
“Still nothing?” I pry.
“No.” He stands. “We’ll find him, though. I promise you’ll get your revenge.”
“Thank you.”
“So, how’s married life treating you?” Noemi giggles over her glass of wine. She doesn’t know it’s alcohol-free—and what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.
I shrug. “Pretty much the same as before.”
She gapes. “Excuse me! Are you trying to say being married to Enzo is like being married to He Who Shall Not Be Named?”
I choke on my drink. “Oh my god. No.” I cough, thumping my chest. “I meant our relationship hasn’t really changed. We’re just… us. Although he does love calling me his wife.”
Noemi sighs. “I need a wife.”
“What about the girl you went on a date with last week?”
“The blonde?”
“There was a blonde? No. The brunette you went for drinks with.”
“Ohhh. No. She didn’t give good head.”
I stare. Then we both burst into laughter.
“You’re a whore.”
She shrugs, raising her glass. “And proud.”
Her expression shifts, sharp now. “When are you going to tell me why you’re poisoning me with non-alcoholic wine?”
My lips part. “How did you—”
“I saw you try to hide the label. I’m not stupid. Spill.”
I purse my lips.
Her eyes widen. “Oh my god. You haven’t told Enzo, have you?”
I shake my head.
“Ahhhhhh!” Her scream rattles my skull with its pitch and volume.
“Shhh!” I hiss, trying to quiet her. “I’m going to. I just… need to figure out the best way.”
Noemi straightens, slipping into an exaggerated version of my accent. “‘Hi, Husband. I am with child.’”
“What the fuck? Who even talks like that?”
She smirks. “I don’t know how straight people talk to each other.”
“No? But you do know how humans talk, right?”
She sticks out her tongue.
“I want it to be special,” I sigh.
“I can’t help you there. Kids are the worst. I’m sure you’ll think of something.”
“Thanks for your help.” I press my lips together to hide a laugh. “And for offering to babysit.”
She hurls a cushion at my head.
The pregnancy test has been haunting me for two weeks. I know I need to tell Enzo—and I desperately want to. It’s not that I think he’ll be angry. If anything, I think he’ll be ecstatic. I’ve just been trying to figure out the best way to do it.
I’ve almost blurted it out at least once a day since I found out.
But today is the day.
The sleeper I ordered arrived this morning. I’ve gift-wrapped it, along with the test. Both are waiting for me to give to him.
Now I’m second-guessing everything. It feels a little cringy. Maybe I should’ve just said, “I’m pregnant,” and been done with it.
Too late now.
After a lunch out with Noemi, I’m finally heading back to the compound.
Enzo’s eased up on security since Marcus hasn’t made any moves. I still want—no, need—to find him. But for now, it seems like he’s lying low.
The spring air is warm against my skin, the sun high in the sky. It’s a beautiful day, which is exactly why I decided to walk the hour-long route home instead of grabbing an Uber or calling for one of Enzo’s men.
But despite the peaceful scenery, unease coils in my stomach. It’s been there since I started the walk.
I can’t explain it—only that something feels off. Wrong.
The compound gates come into view, and I quicken my pace.
The screeching of tires fills my ears.
My head whips around.
A black SUV slams to a stop.
I bolt.
A scream claws up my throat—just as a body slams into me, driving me to the ground.
My skull cracks against the gravel. Pain explodes behind my eyes. My vision blurs, but I don’t stop moving. I thrash beneath the weight above me, kicking and clawing.
They let go.
I scramble to my feet, desperate.
Another body crashes into me from the side, knocking the air from my lungs.
“Get off me!” I scream, praying my voice reaches the guards.
Hands seize my head and slam it down.
Stars burst behind my eyes.
Again.
Then—
Darkness.