Chapter 50 Bleeding Inside
Bleeding Inside
The silence here is sometimes louder than any noise. I miss your chatter. —Enzo
Enzo
“Want to go out for lunch, Iz?”
Her head turns slowly. She blinks at me. “What?”
It’s been like this for the past two weeks. Ever since she lost the baby, she’s been somewhere else—trapped inside her own mind.
And I’m helpless out here, watching the woman I love slip further away with each passing day.
“Do you want to go out to eat?” I repeat gently.
She offers me a smile, but it doesn’t touch her eyes. “Sure.”
I sigh, pulling her into my chest and pressing a kiss to her hair. “Tell me how I can help, Cuore mio. Please.”
She stands stiffly in my arms before her own wrap tentatively around my waist. “I don’t know.”
“Talk to me, baby.”
“I just… I feel lost. Like something’s missing.” Her voice cracks. “Which is stupid, because it’s not like they were planned, and I wasn’t pregnant for long—”
“Hey,” I cut in, lifting her chin with my finger so she’s forced to look at me. “Neither of those means that you aren’t allowed to grieve. That was our child—a part of you and me. It’s okay to be sad. I am too.”
“You don’t seem sad.”
I rest my forehead against hers. “Just because I don’t wear it on the outside doesn’t mean I’m not bleeding inside.”
My phone rings. Tess’s name lights up the screen.
I answer. Kai’s face fills the display.
“What’s up?” I ask, tension already coiling in my gut.
“Thought you might want to meet your nephew.”
Izzy goes completely still beside me, her body stiffening with the kind of silent pain only I can feel.
He spins the camera to show a very sweaty Tess holding a tiny little baby boy. Despite the exhaustion, she manages to smile at me. “Hey, big bro.”
“Everything went okay?” I ask.
She nods, eyes shining. Then she lifts the baby closer. “Meet Nico Matthews.”
My breath catches. “You named him Nico?”
“Of course,” Tess says softly. “He gave his life for me. He deserved to be remembered.”
My eyes burn. I swallow hard and force a smile. “You’re right. He’s perfect.”
“Will you come visit soon?” she asks.
“Of course. Did Papa get there in time?”
He was supposed to arrive two weeks before the birth—but after the kidnapping, he stayed here to make sure Izzy was okay. He left yesterday, worried he’d miss it.
The camera spins, showing Papa beaming with pride before it pans back to Tess.
“Glad you’re both doing well. I’ve got to go. Call you later?”
“Sure.” She hands Nico off to Papa as her eyelids begin to droop.
Kai returns to the screen.
“You’ll be a great dad,” I tell him.
He waves me off, but the flicker of emotion in his eyes betrays how much it means.
“Talk soon.”
We haven’t told anyone about the miscarriage. Not yet. With Tess’s pregnancy, we didn’t want to overshadow their joy.
I lower the phone and turn to Izzy.
She hasn’t moved. Pale. Silent. Eyes glassy.
“Maybe we should name them,” I say quietly.
Her gaze flicks to mine, startled. “What?”
“The baby. Ours. Maybe we give them a name. Something to remember. Something that’s just… ours.”
Her breath stutters. Then she nods.
“Yeah,” she whispers. “I’d like that.”
The small box—containing the baby sleeper and pregnancy test Izzy had planned to use to surprise me—rests in the earth between us. Together, we each scoop a handful of dirt and let it fall over the top, sealing the moment in silence.
“What would you have named them if they were a girl?” I ask quietly.
“Alessandra,” she replies without hesitation.
“After your mamma?”
She hums low in her throat. “I never got to know her... just like I’ll never get to know our baby. Maybe this way, they’ll never be alone. They can be together.”
I wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. “I love that.”
She leans into me. “What if they were a boy?”
“What do you think?”
“You choose.”
I only need a second. “Alessio.”
Just like her papa.
She sobs into my chest, but eventually, the tension in her shoulders lifts just a little.
“I needed this,” she whispers.
“We both did.”