Chapter Eleven
LUKE
Twelve Months Before the Anniversary Party
He stands in front of the tall shelves filled with ceramic items of all sizes and descriptions, from crockery and candlesticks to vases and salt and pepper shakers.
In just over a week, he and Jess will have been married for nine years.
He’s always given her a traditional gift of the material associated with each anniversary, which means this year it’s pottery.
He’s not sure Jess gets particularly excited about pottery.
If he’s honest, he’s not sure anyone gets particularly excited about pottery.
Maybe he’ll get her something else to go alongside it, but he wants to buy something ceramic too. It’s become a bit of a tradition, something he doesn’t want to break.
He sighs and wanders down the aisle a bit to stare at another banks of shelves, all similarly stacked.
What would Jess like … ? An olive oil pourer, glazed in earthy colours?
He pulls a face. Hardly romantic. It’s the sort of present you might give your grandma, or a friend for a housewarming present. Not the supposed love of your life.
He picks up an egg cup, turns it over, then puts it down again. But maybe that’s the problem. He and Jess have seemed more like roommates than soul mates recently. They don’t argue. They still have sex, but … He doesn’t know how to quantify it. It just seems as if something important is missing.
He’s just about to pick up a small jug with hearts stamped on it when he hears an incredulous voice behind him. ‘Luke?’
He spins around. ‘Elena?’
She laughs. ‘What are you doing here? Wandering round an artisan ceramics show is hardly the sort of place I’d expect to find you!’
‘Looking for an anniversary present for Jess. It’s nine years this year – pottery.’
She nods, smiling, but there’s something in her eyes he can’t quite identify.
‘It’s good to see you,’ she says.
‘Likewise,’ he replies, and now he’s got over his surprise, he pays a bit more attention. She looks good. Elena was always one to look effortlessly stylish, but today she looks especially good. The cream suit with striped shirt sits well on her.
They stand there, just looking at each other for a few seconds and then he says, ‘Got any ideas for a suitable anniversary present? I’m struggling. I could do with your eye, if you’ve got a moment?’
At first he thinks she’s going to make an excuse, but then she nods. ‘Sure.’
They spend the next few minutes browsing the displays. Every now and then she picks something up and offers it to him. Elena has always had great taste, even in their uni days when she’d been studying art. She’d been dating one of his flatmates and had formed part of their friend group for a while.
A few years later, at an unofficial uni reunion, he’d met up with his old flatmate again, and by that time Felix and Elena had been married.
She was still making sculptures Luke didn’t fully understand, but it wasn’t bringing in the money, so she was dabbling in interior design, and he’d asked for her help.
They’d almost ended up in business together, flipping houses.
That hadn’t panned out, but they’d kept in touch until four or five years ago, and then she and Felix had split up and she’d moved away. Since then, contact has been minimal.
‘This has to be it,’ she tells him, pointing to a white porcelain figurine on a table in front of them.
It’s about thirty centimetres tall and slightly abstract, but clearly the shape of a woman.
Unlike some of the other pieces in the same range, this one isn’t lying down, as if draping herself onto the shelf.
This one looks strong, powerful, with her arm raised above her head in what looks like a punch of victory.
He picks it up and inspects it more closely.
It reminds him of Jess a bit. She’s strong and athletic without being bulky.
But something about the pose seems a little off.
Even so, he cradles it firmly against his chest as they continue to peruse the different displays.
He’s got to come away with something, right?
His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he puts the figurine down to check it. Probably his wife, but he’s not in a position to reply right now, so he ignores it, intending to respond once he’s back at the car.
When they finish going round the room full of pots and their wares, he’s still holding the white porcelain statue.
It seems his choice is made for him. There also isn’t any more reason to delay his old friend.
He pays for his wares, and she pays for the handful of bowls and vases she’s picked up along the way to decorate her latest project with.
They emerge from the barn into the gravel car park, blinking in the bright spring sunshine.
‘It’s been good to see you,’ she tells him softly.
He nods. ‘Yes.’
She regards him for a second and then gives him a slightly awkward hug. Her cheek rests against his shoulder for a moment before she pulls away again.
He’s about to say, ‘Bye, then … ’ but she sighs and fixes her gaze on him. The sun picks out the warm honey highlights in her dark hair. She looks healthy. Vibrant. ‘I’ve missed you,’ she says, letting a sliver of the sadness he sensed earlier seep through her glossy facade.
He’s not quite sure how to respond. He doesn’t echo her words back together, but he wants to say something. ‘It’s been good to see you again.’
She nods, biting her lip slightly, and he can tell she’s understood the almost invisible boundary he’s set down.
She smiles, waves, and heads back to her car and he watches her go.
It’s only when her BMW sports car has disappeared through the gate and away up the country lane that he admits to himself that he misses her too.