Chapter Sixty-Two
JESS
Luke’s arm is wrapped tight around my waist, his chest and thighs warm against my naked skin. ‘What time is it?’ I mumble.
He yawns and moves his arm so he can look at his watch. ‘Almost nine.’
I open my eyes. I’m in our bed, in our bedroom, exactly where I’m supposed to be. The million-dollar question is: am I when I’m supposed to be?
‘What day is it?’
Luke wraps his arm back around me and nuzzles into my back. ‘Friday.’
Yesterday was Thursday, which means … which means …
I almost leap out of bed and do a victory lap around the bedroom, but then something stops me.
Is it Friday ‘the day after our anniversary’ Friday, or could it be Friday because I’ve jumped forward another year and it’s the fourteenth of May again, meaning it’s our eleventh anniversary?
As much as I’m pleased that Luke and I are clearly doing better than we were before, I don’t want to keep fast-forwarding through my life. If that happens, I could be dead in a few months! I want the chance to live each hard-won day, to savour the love between us.
I swallow. ‘No … I mean what date?’
Luke grumbles and checks his watch again, tapping it lightly then letting his arm fall heavily back over me. ‘Fifteenth,’ he mumbles into my back and then kisses my shoulder blade for good measure.
I almost cry with relief. It’s the fifteenth of May. I finally did it. I finally woke up ‘tomorrow’. My angels must be smiling over me, as Lola would say.
I yawn again, thankful that Luke and I booked this day off, thinking we’d need a rest after our party. We didn’t fall into bed until almost three last night. ‘What do you want to do today?’ I ask Luke. The hours ahead seem full of possibilities.
He squeezes me tighter. ‘Ask me who I’d like to do today and that’s your answer.’
I laugh softly and shuffle around to face him. ‘Happy anniversary, Mr Harris,’ I whisper and then kiss him. Pretty soon, hands are wandering. Our lie-in lasts until almost lunchtime.
We decide to finally leave the bedroom when both our stomachs are growling. ‘What do you want for breakfast?’ he asks.
I grab his arm and pull it towards me so I can see his watch. ‘It’s noon. More like brunch, I’d say.’
‘Whatever.’
‘What are you hungry for? And don’t say me! I need some calories before I can even think of round three.’
He looks thoughtful. ‘Didn’t you mention blueberry and banana pancakes yesterday?’
I smile. ‘Yes, I did. And it’s your turn to make them.’
‘What do you mean it’s my turn? How can there be “turns” when we haven’t had them in years?’
‘Trust me,’ I tell him, flipping the duvet off him so the cold air will speed up the process of him getting out of bed and providing me with sustenance. ‘It’s your turn.’
Luke grumbles but obliges. ‘We haven’t got any eggs,’ he says as he pulls on his shorts and T-shirt.
There is that. Sighing, I throw the duvet back from my side too. ‘Okay, I’ll pop round to the corner shop if you do the cooking.’
Teamwork. See?
‘It’s a deal.’
I watch Luke as he wanders out onto the landing, whistling to himself, and my smile grows wider.
I’ll get up and go shortly, but I just want to lie here bathing in this sense of …
wholeness … for a moment. The barely conscious sense of panic every time I laid eyes on my husband is gone.
It was there all the time, I realize, even when things were going well between us, all senses on high alert, just in case something went wrong. But now? Nothing.
Except peace, even though I know the challenges we’ll face over the next decade and the next after that may not be easy.
I lift my right hand and look at the eternity ring sparkling on my ring finger.
Luke gave it to me last night when we got home.
I wasn’t sure at first, but I decided to put it on my other hand.
It felt like a declaration of some sort, a reminder that however pretty it is, it’s just a symbol.
The real power to make our marriage last a lifetime lies with me, and Luke.
We’ve still got a lot of work to do. Maybe we’ll get couples counselling or something like that to help us on our way, but I think … I think we’re going to be okay.