14. Nyle Brown
The summer had flown by, and I couldn’t believe we were playing in our last tournament.
It amazed me how well the boys had come together and worked as a team.
We were in the top bracket of the tournament with a perfect record.
So far, no team had been able to stop us, and I prayed the team was able to keep up the momentum to bring home the championship.
“Coach! What are you going to do for us if we take home the win?” Connor asked, and everyone else fell in line with him. The dugout grew loud with all of them throwing out suggestions and questions. I held my hand up, and they silenced.
“Now wait a minute,” Weston said, taking his hat off and looking over everyone. “What makes y’all think we’ll do something?”
Connor shrugged. “It was just a question. It doesn’t need to be both of y’all, which is why I asked Coach Nyle.”
Everyone, including myself, roared with laughter as Weston chased Connor out the dugout.
When he finally caught up to him, he picked him up over his shoulder and tickled him.
These were the moments I’d miss, moments I didn’t want to let go, which was why I’d had a secret meeting with the parents about keeping the team all the way until they graduated.
Not one of them disagreed, so I was excited to see how the boys felt.
“I have something planned for y’all whether y’all win or not,” I informed them. “The growth and work y’all shown over this season has been nothing short of amazing, and I’m beyond proud of y’all. I do have a question, though.”
“What is it?” AJ asked, smirking.
He already knew what it was, but he found out by mistake. One day after practice, he overheard me talking to Asher and Zaina about it. I could tell it had been hard for him to keep it in. Surprisingly, he had.
All eyes were on me. Weston came over and stood beside me with his arms folded, lips curved at the corners.
“How would y’all feel about becoming an official travel ball team?
One where we grow together, staying put until y’all graduate high school.
We can continue to work on what we have and make our chemistry stronger.
Of course, we’ll hold tryouts every year to recruit new players if needed, but I would love for us to keep this going.
We’ve had such an amazing season, and I know it will only get better from here. ”
The immediate response was another round of cheers and hugs. It warmed my heart to know they were just as excited as Weston and I were. Each one of them came over to embrace us. AJ was the last one, coming to me with his hand out. We dapped one another up before I pulled him in for a hug.
“I told you everyone would be happy, Coach,” he stated.
“You did. I was a little nervous not everyone would agree, but I’m glad they did.”
“Me too. These are the guys I’ll hopefully play with through middle and high school. I want us all to stick together and become great. We dominated this season, so I can only imagine what we’ll do in the future.”
“Oh, I have big plans for all of you, but it’s not all about what I can do. It’s about what y’all can do as well.” I tapped his helmet just as the umpire called me over.
It was game time.
I hid it well, but I was anxious. The boys had worked so hard, and I knew we wanted to win just as badly as the other team.
From the first inning, it was obvious they’d come to play.
Neither of us had scored, and defensively, we were on fire.
The anticipation was high on the field and in the stands.
Over the years, I’d learned to ignore the parents, but no matter what, I heard my girl screaming for her son.
We were in the bottom of the third inning when a yelling match could be heard from the stands.
Immediately, the hairs on the back of my neck rose when I heard Nannie’s voice.
The umpires stopped the game because the commotion was causing a big distraction.
I jogged over to the fence, and my heart tripped.
“Renee! You better get the hell up out of here before I remind you how I really get down. I may be your mother, but you know what it is when it comes to the children I raised. I don’t care if they’re grown or not. They’re still mine!”
I was frozen in place. Not one limb on my body would move. Not one muscle would quiver. Seeing Renee standing after all these years did something to me. I couldn’t quite decipher which emotion I was feeling more, because they were all swirling through my heart.
Brielle was holding onto Nannie while looking between me and Renee.
Naheem had stepped back with his hands on top of his head, and I could tell he was trying to keep it together.
But Brittish . . . Brittish had somehow made her way onto the field. I felt her behind me before I saw her. When her gentle hand touched my back, I snapped out of it. Turning around to face her, she palmed the sides of my face and searched my eyes.
“Nyle. Let’s go to my car and get away from this.”
“I can’t leave my team. I can’t stop the game. I can’t . . .” I tried to look back, but Brittish tightened the grip on my face.
“No one else can see it but me. I see what this is doing to you mentally and emotionally. I know it’s hard, but I don’t want you to have that talk with her here, not in front of everyone.
Your past doesn’t need to be put on display for the park to see.
” Brittish briefly glanced behind me and sighed.
“From the way it’s looking, she’s not going to leave.
I’m not sure how much longer Brielle will be able to hold Lela Mae back, and I know someone has called the police. We don’t need that here.”
Brittish was right. Renee was causing an unnecessary scene, and it wasn’t the time or place to face her. I guessed Brittish sensed I was with her because she gently pecked my lips before grabbing my hand and leading me toward the exit.
“Nyle! Nyle, where are you going?” Renee called out to me, and I could hear her body hit the fence. “Just talk to me! I need to talk to you!”
“Just ignore her, baby,” Brittish instructed.
Her grip became tighter as her nails dug into my skin. I could feel the heat coming from her body, and I figured she was trying to keep herself calm.
It didn’t work for long. Just as we made it to the field exit beside the dugout, Renee came around the corner with my family in tow. Once again, my body froze as I looked over her. Seeing her up close and personal for the first time in years made my stomach clench.
Time hadn’t been good to her, but it was expected.
Renee had always been on the smaller side.
Whatever damage she’d done to her body over the years showed.
Her once beautiful face was sunken in, and there was no life behind her chestnut-colored eyes.
I’d never seen anyone’s skin so dull and ashen.
It was almost as if her melanin was disappearing, leaving her almost gray looking.
The hair we’d inherited from her was matted and dirty.
From the outer appearance, it was obvious Renee Brown hadn’t changed.
As far as the inner, I wasn’t quite sure.
When Renee took a step toward me, Brittish positioned herself in front of me while Nannie took five steps toward Renee. Slowly, Renee’s eyes trailed up and down Brittish’s frame, and her nose slowly snarled.
“And who are you?” Renee spat.
“None of your concern. I think it’s best if you leave and not look at me as if you want to do something.
In case you didn’t realize, Nyle doesn’t want to speak with you.
You’re out here making a fool of yourself in front of these boys for nothing.
One of them happens to be mine, and I’d hate for him to see his mama snap,” Brittish retorted with hatred spewing from her tone.
“Oh, I see.” Renee ran her tongue over her top row of teeth. “You’re the woman who answered the phone the other day, aren’t you? You seem to be very fond and protective of my son.”
“Don’t call me that,” I finally spoke, and it felt like fire was coming from my mouth. “You have no right to refer to me or my siblings as your children.”
“Well, that’s what y’all are. I’m the one who birthed y’all. I’m the one who carried y’all for nine months. Y’all came from me, so I refer to y’all as exactly what y’all are.”
“So, you were fine with your son being sexually abused for money? For playing time? You were fine with sexually abusing your son, Renee? Is that what a mother is?”
It was as if the entire space around us hushed. I could feel many eyes on us, but Renee was doing too much. She was trying to paint a different picture, and I wasn’t about to let that happen. If she wanted to play with fire, then we could go to hell.
“Excuse me?” Nannie walked around Renee, carefully moved Brittish out the way, and stood in front of me. Her eyes watered as she searched mine. “I need you to repeat what you just said, Nyle.”
My gaze passed Nannie and went to Renee who didn’t show an ounce of remorse.
She stood there, arms crossed and tapping her foot as if we were somehow inconveniencing her.
My body was so hot that I bet they could see steam coming from it.
Not only was I pissed, but I was hurt. Hurt because a part of me hoped Renee was looking for me, to apologize, to admit her wrongs, and ask for forgiveness, but no, .
. . it was something else, and I didn’t care to find out what it was.
“Tell her, Renee,” I started. “Tell her how you used to inappropriately touch me whenever one of my coaches told you to. Tell them how sick of a bitch you really are.”
“Watch your mouth when speaking on me!”
“Fuck you, Renee! I’ll call you everything but a child of God for all the trauma and hurt you’ve caused me.
Why the fuck are you here? Why come interrupting my life and making me have a setback?
I was all good until you came around. I found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I can’t even be a good enough man for her because you have me fucked up in the brain!
“I haven’t been able to touch anyone comfortably for years.
I’ve been in therapy off and on since I was eleven, trying to mentally and emotionally work through this shit.
I remembered everything you allowed those men to do to me, but for some reason, I suppressed what you did.
I put that shit so far into the back of my mind that I completely forgot about it until recently.
It was hard enough navigating the pain of my coaches abusing me.
They were the men who were supposed to guide and protect me, so it hurt, but to know the woman who birthed me did the same . . .”
My words started getting caught behind the lump in my throat.
I placed my hands on top of my head and started pacing.
Shit was becoming too much for me. Being around everyone was too much.
I needed to be alone. I needed to get away from everyone and everything to work through it.
Plus, if I stayed around Renee any longer, I’d spazz.
Never had the thought of hitting a woman crossed my mind, but right then, I wanted to beat her ass and inflict the pain on her she did on me.
I didn’t have to.
Not when Nannie and Brielle were too quick. Chaos erupted again as bystanders tried prying them off Renee. They were giving her the business, and I didn’t feel an ounce of guilt for how bad they were doing her. Not wanting Nannie to hurt herself, I scooped her up while Naheem got Brielle.
“You fuckin’ disgust me!” Nannie screamed.
“I can’t believe I birthed a sick bitch like you, Renee.
Don’t you ever, and I mean ever show yourself around here again.
I’ve made this promise before, but better believe it will be on sight every single time you get bold.
I’ll show no mercy! These are my kids. I raised them.
I loved them. I did everything while you were out in the streets, doing only God knows what.
The fact you’ve set Nyle back after he’s made so much progress hurts me to my core, Renee! ”
Renee tried to sit up, but she was leaned over with blood spewing from her nose.
Her eyes were already beginning to swell, and I was sure one of her fragile bones were broken.
No one tried to help her, not until Brittish came around the corner with a baseball bat.
I didn’t even know she’d walked off until everyone started yelling at her.
Asher dashed toward her and swooped her up before she could swing on Renee.
She didn’t scream. She didn’t say a word, which scared me.
Brittish was far too quiet as she continued to try to break free from Asher’s hold.
Silent tears stained her pretty, red face.
When Asher whispered something in her ear, Brittish’s body relaxed, and her hands went to her face.
Carefully, Asher turned her around and consoled her.
He glanced over at me with sympathetic eyes and mouthed, ‘I got her.’
I held onto Nannie who bawled in my arms. Once she finally calmed down, I released her and went to squat in front of Renee.
It was a shame I couldn’t look at my own mother with love.
I’d learned not to hate her, but I strongly disliked her.
She used the back of her hand to wipe her nose and peered at me.
“Why?” I asked barely above a whisper. “Why did you hurt me like that, Renee?”
With haste, she replied, “Because it was what they wanted. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have had the money nor other things I needed. In a way, you were my provider, Nyle.”
“And you don’t regret it, do you?”
“Why should I? I did what I did, and I can’t take it back. You went far with baseball. You can’t deny I played a part in that.”
“Bullshit, Renee. My God-given talent is what got me far.” I raced my hands down my face and stood up. “You better take heed to what Nannie says because next time, I’m not going to stop her. Next time, I’ll let Brittish get your ass with the bat. Stay the fuck from around me, Renee.”
With that, I walked over to kiss the three women I loved more than anything and dap my brother up before walking toward my car.
Naheem tried to follow me, but I told him I needed to be alone.
Brittish, Nannie, and Brielle begged me not to go.
Their pleas tugged at my heart. As badly as I needed them, I needed isolation more.
Once I got in my truck, I powered my phone off and drove with no destination in mind. I’d gotten the closure I needed from Renee, and while it wasn’t what I thought it would be, it gave me clarity. She was truly a fucked-up individual. If God took her today, I wouldn’t even shed a tear.
But I wouldn’t dare wish that on her. Regardless of how I felt, all I wanted was for God to heal my heart, because it was damaged again.