Chapter 26
‘But what are you doing here?’ I continued to stare. ‘Why?’ I shook my head, trying to get some sense, some sort of perspective, as to what was going on.
‘It’s my club.’
‘What is?’
Theo waved a hand in the air, not, I noticed, his right.
‘This place. Well, at least it was my father’s when he was down here in London.
Despite him being somewhat old-school, I reckon he liked the kudos of being in with the arty, bohemian crowd.
The membership just continues and, you know, my lot always have these clubs, don’t they…
?’ He trailed off and I wondered briefly, was he apologising or simply stating a fact?
‘Your lot?’
‘I think that’s how you constantly referred to my friends and family back in the day.’
I didn’t reply, just continued to take in every aspect of him, his beautiful gentle brown eyes, his fair hair that was that bit darker now. He could still give Robert Redford a run for his money. He ran a hand through his hair. ‘You’re still very beautiful, Anna.’
‘Thank you.’ I didn’t quite know what else to say. Eventually, I said, ‘Theo, are you telling me your being here, the evening of my birthday party, is a total coincidence?’
Theo didn’t blink an eye. ‘Of course not.’
‘You knew?’
Theo smiled. ‘What is a coincidence, I suppose, was that I was down a couple of months ago when your brother and… and… your boyfriend… partner…?’ Theo broke off and it was clear he hadn’t found saying the word easy.
‘How on earth do you know who my brother is? And who my partner is?’ I knew my tone was belligerent, and I bit my lip.
Theo smiled once more. ‘The very talented David Piasecki? Come on, Anna, I read The Guardian.’
‘Bit left wing for you, that, isn’t it?’ I could have bitten my actual tongue off this time.
‘And, as your boyfriend is a member of Her Majesty’s Government, as well as you winning awards and constantly being in the paper together, then of course I knew who they were.’
‘And?’
‘And I heard them planning and discussing this party for you.’
‘Right.’ I glanced back at the door. I needed to get back to the party but found I couldn’t step away from Theo.
Couldn’t bear to leave him. ‘So, how were you planning to help me celebrate? You were going to jump out of a cake in there? Wooh, surprise, surprise, Anna! It’s me, your ex who left you devastated almost twenty years ago? ’
‘Don’t!’ Theo was pleading. ‘Don’t, Anna, please. I just hoped I might be able to get a glimpse of you. Just to see you again… there’s never been a day I’ve not thought of you.’
‘Theo,’ I interrupted, ‘I wrote, I called; I even found out where you were in New Zealand and wrote to you there. You cut me out of your life. You and your family made sure of that.’ I was suddenly angry, all the hurt and pain of losing this man I’d loved so deeply flooding back.
It felt like a physical pain, one I’d managed to file away, but now here it was once more, facing me, taunting me.
‘Anna, I’m so sorry.’
‘I have to go,’ I said.
‘I need to see you. To explain…’
‘Anna?’ A voice from the back of the room called out in my direction.
‘Oh, you’re here. What the hell are you doing?
I’ve been sent to look for you.’ Les came forward, a bottle of Carlsberg in his hand, and I could see he was a little the worse for wear.
He swayed a bit, frowning while peering at Theo.
‘Hang on, I know you, don’t I?’ He glanced at Theo’s right hand, confirming his question was correct.
Oh, Jesus, don’t say Les was going to throw a few punches.
‘Les.’ I put a warning hand on his arm.
‘What’s he doing here?’ Les moved forward, his eyes slightly closed as he continued to look at Theo.
‘Les!’ I snapped the word this time.
But Les simply stood, and then after a few seconds, put out a hand.
‘Mate, I’ve wanted to say sorry so many times but never had the opportunity.
Will you shake my hand? I can only apologise – I was a hot-headed kid on a mission, and I regret every day that I ever…
you know… goaded you into coming with me. You saved me.’
Theo stared, and for a moment I thought he was going to refuse my brother’s handshake, but then he put out his right hand and Les grasped the remaining fingers and then, very surprisingly, because Les had never been one to show his true feelings, never adhered to what he’d scoffed was his feminine side, he reached forward and hugged Theo, before he said, somewhat gruffly, ‘Right, that’s done then.
Good. Thank you. Good of you. Right, I’d better get Anna back or there’ll be another search party out. Anna…?’
‘What’s this? A breakout party?’ Michael and David were now walking towards us, laughing at some joke they’d obviously just shared.
‘Come on, Queenie,’ Michael said, his Scouse accent to the fore with the amount of alcohol he’d knocked back.
‘Come on, geerrl, everyone’s looking for ye.
’ He kissed my cheek and the three men set off back towards the door.
‘Anna, please, I have to see you. I’m here in London all week. Please. I need to explain.’ Theo took a card from his pocket, putting it into my hand. ‘Just so I can explain?’
I nodded, placed the card in my handbag and without another word followed my brother and Michael back to the main event of the evening.
‘So, hang on,’ Gemma said, making herself comfortable on the chair I usually reserved for clients. ‘Theo? The Theo? Lord Theo, the love of your life? He turned up at the party? Well, I never saw him.’
‘Well, no, you don’t know who he is!’
Gemma had the grace to look embarrassed. ‘Oh, I do. When you told me about him, all those years ago, when you poured your heart out and sobbed all over me, I sort of did a bit of research on him. Found his photo… and the rest.’
I stared. ‘Did you? Why?’
‘I wanted to see the man who’d been able to dint that heart of yours. Before it closed up altogether.’
‘Are you saying I’m hard hearted?’ I felt really miffed.
‘Well, you’re no pushover, are you, Anna? I mean, I’ve seen grown men quail before you.’
‘Only when they’ve done what they’ve done to women.’
‘Any man, to be fair, Anna…’ When Gemma saw I was glaring at her, she shut up but then went on, ‘So, had you invited him?’
‘Of course I hadn’t,’ I snapped.
‘Well, it’s all the thing now, isn’t it?’
‘What is?’
‘Exes being invited to weddings and so on. I bet anything when you and Michael get round to it – now that he’s finally proposed – he’ll have his ex-wife there. As well as all her brood.’
‘Can we not talk about this?’ I said crossly, turning to my diary.
‘Which bit? Your impending nuptials, or the love of your life turning up after almost twenty years?’
‘Neither,’ I snapped again, reaching for my phone and then, when Gemma, knowing herself dismissed, gave me one of her looks and started walking back to her office, I said, ‘Oh, Gemma, come back. I’m sorry. What am I going to do?’
‘What do you want to do?’
‘I want to see him,’ I breathed. ‘I need to see him. Does that make me a bad person?’
‘A bad person? What the hell are you talking about?’ Gemma frowned. ‘Just tell Michael you’re seeing an old friend from university days… hang on, have you ever told him about Theo Mandeville?’
I shook my head. ‘He’d have thought it hilarious. Me, a poor Jewish miner’s daughter from Rothersley in love with the lord of the manor? It’s pure Mills and Boon.’
‘Catherine Cookson, at least.’ She nodded sagely and then paused. ‘But did he treat you like an inferior? Did he lord it over you? If that’s the case, tell him to fuck off.’
I shook my head. ‘Never. No, never. It was probably always me who did the teasing.’
‘The teasing?’
‘All right, goading,’ I admitted. ‘Said his lot’ – I air-quoted the words – ‘were parasites, with all their acres of land, living off the backs of the workers.’
‘Jesus, you didn’t!’ Gemma was shocked. ‘No wonder he did a runner and married one of his own kind!’
‘Honor Double-Barrel?’
‘Oh, you’ve done your research, as well, I see.’ Gemma gave a little crow of laughter. ‘Not just nosy old me.’
‘Ask Jeeves, Wikipedia,’ I said shortly. ‘The marvels of the internet.’
‘Anna,’ Gemma said gently, ‘you need to see him. Make your peace with him. Put him to bed.’
‘What? Take him to bed?’ My head came up at that.
‘Turn of phrase, you daft mare. He’s probably one of the reasons you’ve not actually said yes to Michael yet.’
‘How do you know I’ve not actually said yes?’
‘He poured his heart out to Callum and me at the do. He congratulated us about the baby. Said he wants babies.’
‘Oh, not me then?’
‘I think he’d like it to be you who’s there at the birth,’ Gemma said dryly.
‘And presumably at the conception,’ I added and we both started chortling.
‘You’ve got Lord Theo’s number. Go and see him. Make your peace with him, then marry Michael and have lots of bouncing babies. Hell,’ she added, ‘I need someone to compare piles and varicose veins with.’
I had the briefest of conversations with Theo, ringing him and suggesting we meet for a drink the following evening.
‘Would you come to the house?’ he asked.
For a split second I thought he meant Mandeville Hall. Now that would be cosy, sitting down to a G&T with Honor Double-Barrel and Kitchen Maureen – I bet she was still there: these old retainers hung on until they died, didn’t they? Or was that just on Upstairs, Downstairs?
‘The house?’ I asked.
‘You spent a weekend with me there, Anna,’ Theo said calmly.
‘Of course. Give me the address again.’ Give me the address? It was imprinted on my brain and many had been the time, in a fit of sentimentality, I’d gone for a walk in Holland Park just to catch sight of the Mandeville London pile. To remember.