23. Chapter 23
Isat in the living room in Mr. Quinn’s recliner. I wasn’t supposed to be in it, but it was the most comfortable seat in the house. Zach and Gavin were a little too scared of him still, but what was he going to do to me? Make me wash extra dishes again?
Impractical Jokers played on the TV; Sal had lost, and Gavin hadn’t stopped laughing the entire show. This was probably my favorite part of living here. We could sit and hang out as if we were siblings.
I’d always wanted a younger brother; I’d begged Mom for years, and she’d always refused. Looking back, she was right—bringing another child into the world with Dad would have been an awful idea.
I took a bite of the banana in my hand; the squishiness melted weirdly on my tongue.
The taste of bananas was phenomenal; the texture, not as much.
I debated grabbing an apple instead, as I heard a car pull into the driveway.
Weird. The parents weren’t expected home until after dinner, and we hadn’t ordered pizza yet.
A fist pounded on the door, and Gavin and I instantly placed our pointer fingers on our noses; the house rule stated the last person to touch their nose after a knock had to answer the door.
“Y’all suck,” Zach said as he stood and walked toward the banging, which hadn’t stopped.
My phone buzzed against my thigh; I picked it up and looked at what seemed to be a spam text before twirling it in my palm.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Zach yelled. I jumped out of my seat, my eyes snapping to the door. Zach’s body blocked the frame.
Gavin jogged over before I started moving, but his body froze mid-skip, shoulders tightening at whoever stood behind Zach.
Zach shoved Gavin away with his left hand without moving from in front of the door. “Go to your room. Call Dad and tell him to get home now.”
Gavin ran by me in a blur, not looking at me as I walked toward the commotion.
“I just came to see my son.”
Him.
My knees buckled, ready to crumble. My phone tumbled across the floor after falling from my hand. How had he found me? Why was he here?
“You don’t get to see him. You don’t get to come to this house. Leave.”
“Let me see Easton.”
“Not happening. If you come near him again, I swear I’ll grab the first bat I can and put you in the hospital. I don’t care what happens to me.”
“I just want to see my kid.”
“He’s not your kid anymore,” Zach said. He swung the door shut and locked it before running toward the back door and locking that one, too.
I still hadn’t moved. The house closed around me. I needed air. I needed to go outside.
But he hovered outside. I couldn’t go there. I sat on the ground instead, the carpet brushing against the hair on my legs. There was more pounding on the front door; I felt the vibration in my chest. With each bang on the door, I remembered a different time I’d gotten hit by Dad.
Zach’s voice came from somewhere nearby, but I couldn’t see him.
A bottle of water appeared.
“Drink,” someone said.
The coolness of the water in my mouth started to bring me back to reality.
Now, the banging came from the door in the kitchen, loud and obnoxious. The door was weak and breakable, and the spare key was lodged under a chair on the deck. If he did any snooping, he’d be able to get inside.
Zach sat against the wall five feet away from me, his knees bunched up near his chest, watching me closely. He’d found a bat, and one hand ran up and down the barrel, the other locked and loaded on the handle.
Gavin joined us a minute later, sitting next to me, our thighs touching, as silence filled the air. Words kept forming and then deleting in my mind.
I grabbed my phone. Three missed texts from Tanner and two FaceTimes, the screen still lighting up.
Gavin must have called him. I couldn’t make my thumbs work, so I tossed it across the carpet and picked at the little fuzzies instead.
I’d call him when I could figure out what to say, when my brain didn’t feel like I was four beers in and halfway through the fifth.
Finally, the pounding stopped, though the ringing remained in my ears.
The three of us still sat wordlessly, neither brother wanting to make me talk, until the older Quinns got home fifteen minutes later.
“Are you three alright?” Mrs. Quinn said, her voice frantic, her purse still around her shoulder, keys dangling in her hand.
“Yeah,” Zach said.
“Easton?” she asked as Mr. Quinn stepped inside as well, his face as unbearably stern as Zach’s.
I swallowed, or tried to—my mouth had gone dry as paper. “How did he find me?”
“I have no idea, sweetie. But we’ll look into it.”
I couldn’t make eye contact with her. With anyone. The room had gone a half-step too far away, like I was watching it from outside myself, unaware that I could move.
“Easton?” she said.
“Yeah?” I managed, my lip tasting of blood. I guessed I’d been biting it.
“This isn’t your fault.”
I nodded, not sure I believed her but wanting desperately for her to be right.
My lungs burned as if I’d been running for hours even though I hadn’t moved off the floor. I desperately wanted to run back to my grandparents’ house, almost as much as I wanted to breathe. I wanted to find that bottle. I wanted to forget everything that’d happened today.
Then the doorknob on the front door rattled, and my eyes snapped toward the handle as it spun. I squeezed the carpet again, my muscles tensing. Zach stood, and Mr. Quinn stepped in front of me, Gavin a half step behind.
Instead of Dad, Tanner walked in. His face was sullen, his eyes sharp as they made their way around the room. I exhaled, my breathing steadying as I focused on Tanner.
“Is he gone?”
“Yeah,” Zach said. He leaned the bat against the wall and made his way to the couch.
I finally stood, my eyes never leaving Tanner’s. “I thought you had a big test tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” he said, his face softening. “Something came up. Staying here tonight.”
No hesitation, no opening to argue. I bit my bottom lip and nodded at him. I didn’t want his studying ruined, but I needed him here. Needed them all here.
“So what are we going to do about this?” Tanner asked as we joined Zach on the couch. He flicked on a baseball game, the volume level low enough that I couldn’t hear the announcers.
Mr. and Mrs. Quinn looked at each other, then me, before Mrs. Quinn spoke. “I think we should be able to get a restraining order. If you want.”
I nodded my head as I pulled a throw pillow to my chest. “Would that work?”
“Probably not,” Mr. Quinn conceded, “but if we got one, and he came around you again, he’d end up in jail.”
I didn’t want him in jail. Not really, at least. But I wanted him around me even less than that, and if a restraining order was the only way to keep him away, then that’s what I needed.
“Easton?” Tanner said. “You good?”
“Oh–yeah. What do you think?”
“I think it’s a great idea.”
“Then I think we should, too.”
Mrs. Quinn said, “Okay, good. I’ll look into it in the morning. I’m not sure exactly how that works.”
“Try to stay with Gavin and Zach as much as you can for the next couple of weeks, too, please,” Mr. Quinn said. “Just watch out for yourself, okay?”
“Got it,” I said. My throat was dry, and I wasn’t sure what else to say. Would this be what the rest of my life was? Him in my head, him at my front door, him at my games? To me, Mom's death had been a firm cut-off, but to him… it was just a blip on the radar. Like she didn’t mean anything.
The next two hours blurred. No one said much until the pizza came, and then everyone seemed to relax. Tanner kept glancing at me, and, even when it seemed like he was watching the game, I could sense the side of his eyes always on me, waiting to see if I’d break.
After the game ended and the pizza was devoured, he said, “Wanna watch a movie downstairs?”
“You sure you don’t need to study, dude?”
“Naw, I’ve mostly got it covered.” His eyes darted away from me as I stood and followed him downstairs, Gavin trailing behind us with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders.
I jumped on the couch, half expecting Tanner to follow me like he used to. Wishing he would. Instead, he took one of the movie chairs next to Gavin. His phone was in his palm, vibrating with a call, but he ignored it as he turned on the movie and Gavin turned off the lights.
“You alright?” Tanner asked.
“Yeah, man.”
He gripped the seat handles and squeezed. “You’re sure?”
Half of me wanted to say it. I could probably get away with it tonight, too, and just blame it on dad. I could tell Tanner what I hadn’t for years now.
Which wouldn’t be fair to him. Because of Calvin.
Not like I hadn’t had my chances before him and wussed out.
“Yeah,” I opted for. “Thanks for coming back.”
“Always, Easton,” he said. His eyes lingered before moving to the screen, and my insides clenched themselves tight.
Halfway through the movie, as I lay sprawled across the couch, Gavin came over.
He threw his blanket over me and lay next to me, his head inches from mine, his back pressed up against my chest. The kid who'd made sure I knew he was taller than me a week ago was small again now, folding into me the way he used to fold into Tanner.
His breathing was steady, in the way that steadied me.
It should have been enough. It nearly was. But my eyes kept drifting to the chair where Tanner sat, ten feet and a whole world away.
I shoved the idea out of my head and wrapped my arm around Gavin, never wanting to let him go. Never wanting to let anyone in this family go. Not again.