Chapter 9 #2
Hannah was too. Everyone was wondering about the sleeping arrangements, huh? Welcome back to small-town life. But hearing Ben had created a different place for Neil to live chapped her hide.
“Mom, I’m only thinking about Hannah’s reputation,” Luke said softly. “I don’t like some of the talk I’ve heard.”
So people were wondering if she was sleeping with Neil, were they? She should have expected that. “I can handle what people say. Besides, it’s my business, Luke, but I appreciate you thinking of me.”
“I’ll punch anyone in the face who says anything bad about you, Hannah,” Luke told her quietly, showing just how much he’d grown up since she’d been gone.
“Me too!” Dylan put up his fists, which Jolene immediately pushed down.
“Violence is not an answer.”
“Moving on. You can have my room, Hannah,” Luke said softly. “If you didn’t want to stay out on the ranch…”
Her heart clutched, and she put her hand on his arm. This was the boy who used to help her wrangle his brothers at dinner and bathtime when she’d babysit. Luke Prentice was a caretaker to his core. “Thank you, but we’ll be fine.”
“Don’t I get to ask?” Dylan sucked in a huge breath before looking at her. “Is Neil your boyfriend, Hannah?”
“No, he’s her work husband,” Jolene reiterated. “Let’s leave this talk for now. Hannah knows she’s always welcome here—whether to stay or for a visit. Now, if you’d like to come inside for Sunday pizza night, we’d love to have you, but don’t feel obligated.”
Hannah glanced over at Neil, who simply smiled. “We’d love to stay,” she answered.
“Terrific!” Jolene swung an arm around her as they moved farther inside. “Neil, do you drink bourbon?”
“Aye. My mother’s family in Scotland is in the whisky business.”
“Great!” She gave a cheery wiggle of the hips. “Because I’m ready for happy hour. You boys…go grab a menu and decide what you’ve got a hankering for before I call High Noon Pizza. Hannah, come with me for a sec.”
Her friend tugged her into the side bathroom, which still had an ocean-blue theme, and shut the door. “Now, we’re about to do a fire round of questions since we can’t talk like girls with the boys around. Question one: what happened to make you leave your parents’ house so fast?”
She backed up against the vanity as Jolene sat on the toilet, which displayed a craft from Stitch & Bitch night—a knitted cover reading "Remember to Put the Seat Down." “The usual. My dad’s displeasure with me, my career, and apparently my involvement with Will’s scheme.”
Jolene crossed her ankles. “You didn’t notice anything different with your mom?”
“Dad said she fell.” Hannah sank onto the floor mat in front of her friend. “Why? What do you know?”
“Something’s been wrong for a while, but your dad is very close-lipped. Your mother never went out much, but her rare errands have dried up. You’ll want to look into it more.”
Hadn’t Neil suspected something? “I will. Count on it.”
“Question two is a doozy.” She made a face. “Are you sure you want to live out on the ranch? Luke wasn’t kidding. We’d make room for both of you here.”
She rested her hand on Jolene’s knee. “If Ben and I can’t coexist like adults, I can’t live here long-term. Being on the ranch right away puts that issue front and center. It’s sink or swim.”
She used to dream of living on the Triple M, but as Ben’s wife. That was all gone now.
Jolene touched her face with a maternal smile. “Man, you’re tough, but you always were. When you have your moments, and you will, you come to me at The Lucky Horseshoe or here at the house with the boys. Someone will be home. All right?”
Hannah nodded. “Dammit, Jolene, I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you too, kiddo.” She kissed the top of her head.
“We’ve been through it. You helped me when I was a young, divorced mother who had to put a roof over my boys’ heads.
And together, we grieved about you continuing after Sarah was gone.
This time around can’t be as bad as that, but it’s going to be hard.
You’ve avoided meeting him when you came home as much as he did you. ”
Leave it to Jolene to put it all out there like the straight shooter she was.
Even though Jolene had a little one when Sarah passed away, she did her best to provide a comforting place to land for Hannah.
She’d always been like another big sister to her and Sarah, so she also grieved when she died.
Thankfully, despite how busy Jolene’s life was, she’d managed to email nearly every week while Hannah had been away.
Where would I be if I hadn’t had her during the last seven years?
She couldn’t imagine doing life without her by her side. “We’ll get through like always.”
“You will, but facing Ben—the man you loved more than anything—will dredge up a lot of hurt. I know your need to heal is strong. He’s different, now that he’s had Cooper and become a father.
He’s a good one, Hannah. I’ve never told you before, but I’m telling you now.
He’s softened in only a way a tough man can with his son. ”
She bit her lip, unable to speak. She’d always known that about him, and she’d dreamed of seeing it with their own family.
Jolene put her hand on her shoulder. “These first few weeks back, greeting everyone in town, catching up, hearing the talk, having people ask you rude questions to your face…I figure if you can take it, you’ll stick.”
“Like glue,” she joked shakily as Jolene handed her a tissue.
“With that tall drink of water next to you who calls you lass,” she continued with a girlish sigh, “I figure you have another good friend to back you up. He’s not the only one, though.
A whole bunch of townspeople are glad to have you back.
Including my Stitch & Bitch crew on Wednesday night. You’re invited.”
She laughed shakily, thinking she’d only go if she decided to stay.
Better not to raise expectations all around.
“Man, I used to wish I was old enough to attend when I was in high school, listening out my window to all of you cackling next door. Usually drinking and talking and not making much in the way of crafts.”
“This toilet cover says otherwise, but you’re mostly right.” Jolene chuckled and helped Hannah off the floor. “Now, honey, I need to call in a pizza order before my boys turn into flesh-eating monsters right out of a B movie. You stay here and gather yourself. I’ll have a bourbon waiting for you.”
Kissing her again on the top of her head, Jolene let herself out of the bathroom.
Hannah sat down on the toilet seat. Being back was going to be tough, maybe tougher than she realized, and coming home suddenly seemed like a stupid idea.
Why was she doing this again? She could get a job anywhere.
It wasn’t like she didn’t have offers. Besides, she’d gone through with the interviews she’d scheduled in Denver and Santa Fe when she’d flown in two weeks ago.
She was still waiting to hear their offers.
Breathing more easily, she reminded herself she had choices.
“It’s only a month trial, and then I’ll know for sure,” she told her reflection in the adjacent mirror before heading out to join the others.
The moment she appeared, Dylan grabbed her hand and carted her up their squeaky old staircase to his room to show her his new hobby of building model airplanes, going on and on about wanting to be a pilot, something he’d talked about as long as she could remember.
As he opened his messy closet to find his newest model, she looked out his window. Sarah’s old room was visible, the lacy pink curtains her sister had picked out still fluttering in the gentle breeze.
Sarah.
The truth stole over her gently.
She was here because Sarah wanted her here.
She was here to be around dear people she cared about like Jolene and her family.
She was here for herself.
Whatever had been frozen inside her the day she and Ben broke needed to thaw to heal. That meant resolving things long since past. Where it had all begun. In Sanctuary Springs.
She prayed she was up for it.