Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Foraging normally had her dancing on air for hours.
Except that Reba insisting they come to the main house for dinner after they’d finished picking strawberries had knotted her belly up. “Maybe I need to call Reba and say we need a rain check for tonight, Neil.”
“You can make all the excuses you want, lass, but it only avoids the issue.”
She pulled herself over the edge of the couch.
Neil was carefully laying out the herbs and plants they’d collected on old towels he’d arranged on Will’s ancient dining room table.
Green ribbed plantain. Silvery raspberry leaves.
The happy yellow flowerheads of calendula and cinquefoil.
Beargrass and bitterroot. Red clover. Wild bergamot.
Solomon’s seal. They’d even found some self-heal on the way back, creeping along the edge of the ranch’s western grasslands where cattle roamed.
And yarrow, of course, with its white flowers.
“We’ll be able to do some good with those beauties.
I had a couple of text messages from Jolene about people in town asking if she’d share her salve. ”
Neil didn’t look up, but she caught his smile as he shoved back the sandy hair on his sunburned brow.
“Must feel good to help the people you care about. You were happy today. I could feel the roots coming out of your feet and mingling into the earth. Even though you have two pretty good job offers on the table.”
She knew what was coming, and her chest tightened.
The offers had arrived last night from places she’d interviewed with when she’d come back to the US on the earlier visit—one from a well-known Denver wellness center and the other from a Santa Fe herbal cooperative.
Neither one would allow her to reach her goal of running her own place even though the offers were competitive. “Go on and say it.”
“This place provides you with more positives than negatives if we’re being strictly analytical. You’ll run your own herbal practice. You return to a community and people you still care about. Plus, there are new benefits you hadn’t expected.”
“What do you mean?”
“Cooper.” Neil glanced up, his brown eyes steady. “You already love that laddie. He certainly loves you. I don’t think he stopped holding your hand except for when you two picked a plant or flower.”
Cooper had been glued to her side the whole time, warming her heart. Even Tank hadn’t been able to insert himself between them with his fluffy white body. “He loves nature and knowing about things.”
“Aye, but it’s more than that.” Neil’s large hands gently laid out a line of delicate blue flowers they’d found at the base of a beautiful oak tree above the hot springs. “He’s hungry for a mum. One characteristic everyone appreciates in you is your mothering instinct.”
She tried to brush the compliment off despite the hammering of her heart. “Pshaw.”
Neil only chuckled softly under his breath. “Case in point. You had the three Prentice boys volunteering to give up their rooms to you. And they’re teenage boys, lass.”
Her heart might as well be at the state fair for how happy she felt. Now that she was back, Luke, Ford, and Dylan were all texting her about coming over, with Dylan taking selfies of his healing forehead. “I’ve known them since they were babies, Neil.”
“More evidence? Every kid in an airport gravitates to you. Kids in restaurants come over to smile at you. You’ve even had kids in stores wander up to you thinking you’re their mum before they look up.”
She wrapped her arms around herself, smiling. “Okay. That’s all true. But I’m not Cooper’s mother. Trust me, Neil. If you knew Amber, you’d think Cooper is a miracle.”
“Aye. Ben’s clearly done a great job, and I’ll reluctantly note that speaks to his character now, as does the respect everyone on the Triple M, his family included, gives him.”
Jolene had also told her Ben had changed, and every time she saw him with Cooper, the tender, loving man she’d loved was there in living color.
Only he seemed more responsible and settled now.
God, sometimes all she could conclude was he—they—had messed things up because they’d been so young.
Kids. Her, with her tunnel vision about her career and Ben, with the deep wounds from his mother.
“Are you trying to keep an open mind for me?” she asked quietly.
“Aye, that’s what friends do—while being at the ready to punch the lad who hurt you.”
She laughed. In some ways, he and Ben were so alike.
Strong. Proud. Action-oriented. Only Neil was a healer at heart and trained constantly.
He’d known how to heal his wounds, and he was self-aware enough to discern when he was leaning toward stubbornness or ego.
Then again, Neil was a little older than they were. Five years could make a big difference.
He separated some white angelica and finally came over. “His family still loves you. Clearly, you feel the same. When I saw you with his father and grandfather today, I knew their hopes.”
“Sensed or knew?” she pressed.
“Both. They want you as part of their family. This family dinner invitation is another way to help you feel welcome. Aye. While throwing you two back together.”
She knew that deep down. Reba didn’t let anyone cross the main house’s threshold unless she wanted them there.
She’d run that house since she was a young bride, when her Charlie had first come to the ranch as a young cowboy.
Besides, they hadn’t simply picked strawberries for the pies tonight.
When did Reba ever need anyone to pick anything for her?
No, she’d walked Hannah around the large garden and orchard Grandma Elena had created so long ago.
Apple, native plum, pear, and apricot trees were all producing fruit.
They’d strolled through rows rich with sweet corn, tomatoes, and zucchini, and laughed when a chickadee landed on the overstuffed scarecrow and started singing.
But it was the sweet and sour cherries growing on the trees that Reba had made sure to point out. The Cherry Festival was on July 29, the last Saturday of the month. Reba had hinted she’d love Hannah’s help with the pie making this year.
She’d only smiled. The month-long trial would be over right around there. Would she still be here?
She’d wanted to be there so badly after Reba had brought up the notion.
She could all but smell the roasted meat and the cherries in the air.
There was always laughter and music—and love.
She and Ben had held hands as they’d wandered around the tables laden with cherry-rich food, everything from cherry pie bars, cakes, and pies to cherry-lathered barbecue and venison.
They’d stuff themselves, and then they’d head to the barn and dance until the full Buck Moon was high in the sky.
Sometimes they’d sneak off to the woods to make love while other times they’d walk over to the hot springs.
If she stayed, her first festival back would be different. Ben wouldn’t be holding her hand.
“You’re sad now, lass.” Neil tipped up her chin. “That’s all right. Part of the healing process. I wouldn’t say the last phase is the hardest, because they're all hard. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Every step is tough. ’Tis the way of it.”
She made a face. “Except being sad doesn’t heal you.
Grieving and letting go does. I’m not sure I’m letting go enough, being back here.
I’m still angry, Neil, and my heart aches more than I expected.
Dammit, I want to be a part of this place again and the people I grew up with.
The ones I love. Loved. Sometimes everything is so clear, and then there are other times when I don’t know my way. ”
“Part of the process. How about a cup of tea?”
“That would be great.” She rose and followed him to the small kitchen. “You didn’t mention how much you seem to be liking this place. Also, I know Will is thinking about asking you to join the healing center.”
“But he hasn’t because Ben wants to take a punch at me.” Neil laughed heartily in that big, easy way of his. “Not that I’m offended. I more than understand his reasons.”
So did she. Even though she’d told Ben she and Neil weren’t an item, she’d been honest. If she’d been free to love him, she would have.
But Neil had long ago accepted her inability.
He’d preserved their friendship by understanding.
And no one would be surprised Ben was jealous…
Sometimes she wondered if Will had secretly expected her to bring Neil to needle his brother out of his shell.
“Would you stay?” She opened the ancient cupboard and pulled out the herbal tea blend they both liked that she’d unpacked. “If Will asked…”
“Going back to Scotland and working without you isn’t something I’ve wanted to face yet.” His regard was serious and a little sad. “We’re a good team, and friends at that.”
“The best.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “I think you like it here.”
“I do.” He set the water to boil on the stove after filling the saucepan since Will didn’t have a kettle.
She made a note to ask Reba for one. “The people are friendly, and the nature is spectacular, to say nothing of the fishing. ’Tis the truth that I like the slower way of life after living in Edinburgh.
Plus, it’s closer to my family here in the States. ”
“Mm-hmm, and you and Will get along pretty good,” she mused, grabbing a jar of local honey. “I haven’t wanted to contemplate us not working together.”
“Neither have I, lass. The podcast would be the toughest, and the in-person consultations with clients we both treat. We’ll have to see how things go. Will knows he can’t offer yet. You and Ben have more healing to do.”
More motivation surely. “Probably. Hell. Yeah, a whole lot.”
“Lad’s ashamed of his behavior, and he feels guilty. Not easy for anyone to hold, least of all a strong man. I happen to know firsthand.”
She put her hand on his back. “You’ve done damn good, letting the past go.”
“Thanks.”
He busied himself with preparing the tea.
Neil understood loss. To have survived what he did, even though his brother didn’t…
was crushing. Neil hadn’t known how to stop the bleeding, and they’d been unable to call an ambulance because there was no cell reception.
How did you come back from something like that?
Yet his tragedy was another reason they’d bonded. He knew what it felt like to lose a sibling. Worse, to be the one who survived.
Thankfully, Neil’s family didn’t blame him for living—like Hannah felt her parents did sometimes. They had a resilience hers never had.
“What does a person bring as a gift when they’re invited to dinner in Montana?” he asked, handing her a steaming cup of tea.
Inside, she felt a heart spark. She knew exactly what she was going to bring tonight.