Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
He’d given her flowers.
Forget that he’d up and picked them from Will’s overgrown Annabelle hydrangea out back. The gesture made her throat ache, moving her in the same way hearing those silly pebbles being thrown against her window did.
Jolene was right. He was working for it. Hard. When she’d stopped by to check in on the foal, there had been another sweet note in Ben’s handwriting.
Hi Hannah!
Thanks for taking such good care of me.
Your friend, Windgate
Clever old Ben. She’d always loved that side of him.
Seeing him now, realizing he’d waited up for her—when he rose around four thirty every morning—she couldn’t stop herself from starting the short walk around the house to the porch swing.
Looking over her shoulder, she called softly, “Well, come on, cowboy…”
He strode after her, his solid masculine presence casting a shadow as they arrived at the front of the house. He’d always been bigger, but Hannah knew his size wasn’t merely what made him so arresting. Ben had stature. He held himself well. With people as much as animals. They knew to respect him.
Even after everything between them, so did she.
After she’d gotten home and set aside her unease over seeing Owen and her worry about the lumber situation, she’d reflected on Ben.
How could she not? Her mind seemed to be filled with thoughts of him.
The old and the new sides of him, and the ones she still didn’t know.
Like how he could have ever thought her going for the scholarship meant he wasn’t important to her.
She’d thought she’d known all his wounds, but clearly, either they’d been deeper or hidden even from him.
Despite them, he’d raised a beautiful son almost all on his own, and he was running the ranch as his father stepped back.
He’d never shirked from doing what he had to, but there was a new steeliness about him. Like an old, burnished saddle.
Oh, how she wished she could tell him that one.
He would have laughed. Instead, he waited for her to sit, the air ripe with excitement and awkwardness.
Situating himself a few inches away, she appreciated the room.
Her heart pounded hard, and she was having trouble breathing with him this close.
The subtle scent of the white mophead flowers as well as his own masculine one had her stroking the delicate flowers.
Suddenly, the irony of the flower choice had her chuckling.
“You laughing at me already?” he drawled. “It probably seems silly. My waiting up and then throwing pebbles at your window.”
“That’s not it. Hydrangeas are the flowers of forgiveness.”
His face went blank with shock even in the dim moonlight, and that was when she noticed he’d shaved. Oh, Ben…
“Really? Well, don’t that beat all. I did something right.”
The new self-deprecating side made her frown.
She thought about the screw he’d given her.
He was afraid to mess up, weighed down by old mistakes.
She wanted to touch his arm and encourage him to be easier on himself.
He needed to heal too, and the healer in her wanted to help.
“In fact, if I remember my flowers right—”
“Which you do,” he added in a voice even deeper and richer than usual.
“White ones mean that you’re deeply sorry and you want a fresh start.”
He shoved his boot against the ground and set them to rocking.
“Consider them your new flower. Any idea what flowers convey a man’s groveling?
I meant to ask after I’d apologized last night, but we didn’t get to it.
Maybe it’s better we talk about how now.
I will do literally anything to make things right. ”
She couldn’t laugh because she felt too emotional. “Ben, you don’t need to grovel.”
“Sure I do.” He cleared his throat, a low rumble as the crickets continued their night song. “Just to give me a sense. On a scale of one to ten, how good are you and me?”
She turned and blinked at him. “You want to measure it?”
“Yeah, it seems logical. If I know the number, I can improve it. Like I do my cattle prices. Forget I said that…”
This time, she laughed. “You and your logic. I’m not sure a number is useful.”
“Mine is six,” he offered quickly. “Sitting on this here porch raised it two points. I’m glad you came out, Hannah.”
“Me too, Ben.”
And she was, even as she told herself to remember who she was now. Going all girlish like she used to with him wasn’t mature. But Jolene’s words were ones she had to consider.
Ben McAllister can still make you light up like the sun.
Maybe that was why she hadn’t been able to fall for Neil or anyone else she’d gone out with, not that there had been many. Her lack of interest had depressed her.
The pull to him was still there as well as the desire to talk to him.
Learn more about him. Had she been unable to heal all the way before because what they felt for each other was one in a million?
Since they were kids, there had been a potent bond, and it was still there.
She could trust herself to see what it meant now, where they were in their lives.
“Last night I talked about Scotland,” she began cautiously. “Tell me more about your life now.”
He pushed off the ground, making the swing groan some. “Well, my responsibilities to the ranch have increased.”
She looked straight ahead at all he managed now. The barns and sheds and other outbuildings filled with animals. The bunkhouses for the ranch hands who helped him work the land. “Does it ever feel like a lot? You didn’t think you’d be running this place so early.”
“Will’s accident changed things,” he said. “I did what was needed.”
Classic Ben speak. “Tell me more about Cooper.”
“Ah…my little buckaroo.” He twisted on the swing, stopping the swinging motion abruptly.
“He hits the hay early, thank God. He loves it here, and I love him growing up like I did, running around with his dog, exploring the land, and doing what’s his to do.
I’m glad he’s taken a liking to you—not that I’m surprised, as you always had a way with young’uns. The Prentice boys are proof of that.”
“He’s a fine boy, Ben.” She almost patted his arm, smiling because he clearly found it easier to talk about his son. “You’ve done a great job with him.”
He was silent before giving an awkward shrug. “I suppose my life is different with him. There’s suppertime and bathtime and bedtime, and when school starts up again, there’s homework,” he finished quickly. “I’d like to say I’m better in some ways because of him.”
Her chest filled with an aching tenderness.
Then he turned and looked at her, his dark eyes full of emotion. “Like I used to be because of you.”
There it was. That undeniable connection between them. This time, he leaned closer. She was aware of the scent of leather, man, and the outdoors. Man, he still smelled the same. The hard planes of his face were leaner somehow, but it was the steely gaze that sent her pulse tripping.
“I’m so glad you’re back, Hannah,” he whispered, almost reverently.
He tried to smile. She tried to as well, but her mouth couldn’t seem to hold it. The air seemed heavy with what was between them.
“I should let you go inside.” He didn’t make a move to stand, however. “You still haven’t told me your number, but we’re talking. When you do that with me, I know everything will be all right.”
This time, he rose and held out his hand before tucking it quickly to his side.
She noted the old-time gesture. Her throat tightened as she clutched her flowers in her hand.
Suddenly, things between them felt filled with a lot more than just all right.
She could feel another chance blossoming before them.
“Get some sleep,” she said quietly, noting the exhaustion lining his face. “Someone was up late last night giving me several thoughtful presents.”
He laughed ruefully. “You know I’d go days without sleep just to be with you again.”
Her heart began to hammer in deep, aching beats. All she wanted to do was put her head against his chest and feel his arms around her again.
“Do you remember that picnic I asked about?” he asked softly.
She nodded, knowing she was going to say yes.
He cleared his throat. “Would tomorrow be good?”
The hesitancy in his voice, along with his searching gaze, had her trying to smile again. “That works.”
“Good.” He flashed her a quicksilver smile.
This time, she felt her mouth tip to the right before smoothing out and holding the smile that had failed her until now. Her heart was tripping in her chest, and she felt deeply and completely happy looking at his handsome face and his masculine presence.
Jolene had said Ben made her light up like the sun.
Seeing him now, his exhaustion was gone. His whole being looked younger.
I light him up too.
Maybe he knew how close to the edge they both were, but he steered her toward the front door. “Sleep tight. And lock the door behind you.”
She almost dropped her flowers. “Are you being funny? You never lock the doors out here.”
“I’m only being cautious.” He opened it and nudged her inside. “I can handle a shipment of lumber going missing. You’re way more precious. ’Night, now.”
If she hadn’t been so shocked, her heart would have spun at hearing his deep voice call her precious. Shivering, she decided to lock the other doors. A moment later, she heard his boots clomp down the porch steps.
She remembered him meeting with the sheriff today. Did he expect more trouble? Ben didn’t spook easily.
Jolene calling her part fighter tonight came to mind. She supposed she was when she needed to be.
But, please, don’t let it be necessary.
She was really starting to enjoy being home.