Chapter 16
The day feels so cold, and I honestly just don't feel like waking up. It’s a Sunday, somewhere between morning and afternoon, and once again, I wake up completely alone in bed.
I had taken a sleeping pill last night because I just didn't wanna face the heartache of knowing my husband had gone out there in the wee early hours of the morning to take a woman I don't even know home, one that he apparently expects to stay here in our house.
I head over to feed my gerbils first. They're all still sleeping, but when they wake up, they'll see their food. They must be really tired.
I finally head downstairs. When I walk all the way over to the door that leads to the garage, I see that the Aegis van is back. Walking around the rest of the house, everything seems completely undisturbed except for the coffee pot. Then I look inside the guest room on the first floor.
Daniel is in there, sleeping soundly under the covers. He chose to sleep here last night, or rather, this morning, just to get away from me. Obviously, he doesn't have to go into work today.
Part of me wants to talk to him about last night, but right now, the main thing I want to do is just stay far away from him. Because if he's gonna treat me like that, who knows? Maybe there really is something to be said for not caring. Maybe Ghana, my brown gerbil, actually had a point.
So you know what? Fine. He wants to treat me like that?
Maybe I am just too available. The thing is, even when I try to give him space and leave him to his own devices, he just pulls farther away.
We just had a talk last night, and he claims I embarrassed him in front of that woman just by asking a question.
I don't understand that logic at all, but whatever.
I start making breakfast. I don't make him any. I barely even make enough for myself, and honestly, I don't even have an appetite. I just leave the pancakes and eggs sitting on the island counter to cool.
Then, I hear a noise.
When I look up, I see Danny walking into the kitchen. He’s shirtless, just in his boxers, his hair a total mess, looking sexy as ever with that chain around his neck holding his marriage ring, the way he always wears it now.
I can't even bring myself to say good morning to him.
He just stands there, looking at the food on the island counter and then looking straight at me.
I say absolutely nothing as I pick at my food, forcing myself to take a single bite just to avoid having to speak to him.
The food tastes completely stale in my mouth as I let it ruminate in there, unable to even swallow it.
Because I know if I do, I’ll feel like throwing up.
Daniel just keeps staring at me with that blank, disappointed, disapproving stare. Then he sighs, goes over to the fridge, and drinks the orange juice right out of the bottle.
God, I hate when he does that. I have told him repeatedly not to do that because if we have guests over, we’re gonna have to share that same bottle with them. It's disgusting. Personally, I don't usually find it disgusting because, of course, Daniel is my husband. But now? I don't know.
Looking at his back, his big, muscly back, my mind is trying to tell me how attracted I am to him and how much I still love him. But in this exact moment, I just can't stand him.
He doesn't care about my heart or my feelings. We don't talk.
"I'm gonna hit the grocery store. You need anything?" he asks me, his tone completely stilted. He isn't even looking at me, almost as if he expects me not to answer.
Grocery? Since when did he hit grocery stores? Steve usually does that for us. The hell?
"No," I say, keeping my eyes locked forward, not looking at him either.
"Right," he says, pulling his lips in between his teeth and nodding as he heads off upstairs.
He takes a shower. After what feels like half an hour with my body feeling all queasy, he comes back down the stairs, heads straight to the garage area, and takes off.
I wonder if he's gonna go see fucking Kara.
I wonder if he fucked Kara. Far be it from me to even ask him these damn questions, because he just feels like I'm attacking him or something.
He doesn't come back for the entire day.
Then later on, at night, he finally returns. And he's wearing completely different clothes. This cannot be my life right now. I need to stop caring. Get a divorce. Say it. Tell him. I want a divorce. Just tell him.
"There's a gala coming up," he says, speaking to me as if we're just roommates, or like I'm one of his clients that he doesn't even like talking to.
I say nothing. I'm just sitting on the living room couch, pretending to read a book, or not really reading it. I've been stuck on the exact same page for over an hour.
"There are a lot of people coming to this gala," Daniel continues, explaining that they have several of these events throughout the year where they have to network with major investors and secure new business partnerships.
He goes on and on about the clientele, but I'm completely tuned out. "Melody, are you listening to me?"
I look up from the page. "Yes. Of course. I'm sorry. What did you need?"
"You should come with me," Daniel says.
I just stare at him. Does he actually want me to go?
"Oh," I say flatly. "I thought you never liked taking me to your stuff."
"Well, everyone's bringing their wives, and my father said it would look better if I brought my wife along."
Wow. What an absolute cut to the chest. His father told him he needs to bring me along, so that's why he's chosen to invite me. Wow.
"Actually, I think I'm gonna hang out. I don't wanna go," I tell him.
"You've been begging me for all this time that you want attention and shit, and now I'm inviting you."
"You're inviting me because your father told you to," I snap, the anger flaring up.
"Yes."
"Not because you actually want me there."
"No," he says coldly. "You should be there as my wife."
"But not all the other times, right? Not all the other times where you're out with your female clients and you're hiding your marriage ring under your shirt?"
He rolls his eyes before I can even finish the sentence and just starts walking away.
"There you go! Walk away from me like you always fucking do, you fucking coward!" I yell at his back.
He spins around, his face turning dark. "Don't talk to me like that. I swear to God."
"Or what, Daniel?"
"Do you wanna leave? There's the door, Melody. Nobody's telling you to stay. You wanna go, go."
"Do you want me to go?" I ask, trembling.
"I honestly don't care."
"What the fuck is actually wrong with you?" I shout, the tears finally burning in my eyes. "What did I fucking do to you, bro?"
"Look at you. Look at how you're acting. I don't know who you are," Daniel says.
"You don't know who I am?" I say in absolute shock, my eyes wide open. "Bro, you don't even see how you're changing. You don't see how you're becoming an actual asshole. You brought this woman into our house—"
"And you need to work on your insecurities," he interrupts. "She got the job, by the way. She's very good at what she does, and if you'd actually talk to me about it—"
"Why would I have gotten the chance to talk about it?
" I snap. "You made all of these decisions without even talking to me, and now you're telling me I have to talk to you about it?
You're actually making me fucking insane!
And now I'm actually thinking there's some kind of conspiracy theory where you're trying to make me insane so you can divorce me.
If you want to divorce me, just say so!"
"I didn't say that, Melody," he says coldly. "That seems to be what you keep deflecting to, though."
I can't take this anymore, so I get up and I walk away, just like he always does.
Tonight is the night of the stupid gala.
"Oh, Mrs. Akari. Let me help you," says the wench.
Kara started working here on Monday. Danny hasn't been home since.
He's supposed to come this evening to pick me up for the gala.
Do I know where he's been? No. Do I care?
No. Actually, I do care, but I'm trying to make myself not care.
It did make me feel a little bit better that Kara was here and Danny wasn't. And I'm not gonna lie, she really has been a help with things around the house, keeping the place clean, making dinner.
It's not like I've had the energy to do much of anything lately, and she has tried to be nice to me.
I do try to be nice to her too, even though I don't want to be.
I haven't really talked to her much because I don't wanna come off as insecure, so I try to showcase strength.
But the entire time this woman has been here for the last four days, going on five now, it has completely plagued my mind, the thoughts of whether or not she slept with my husband.
Kara helps me put on my dress for the gala, zipping it up gently.
"You look very nice, Mrs. Akari," Kara says.
"Thank you," I reply.
Kara then looks at me from the front, brushing down the fabric of the dress.
She looks up at me earnestly. "I know that I don't want this to seem out of place or rude, but I just wanted to tell you...
to assure you that when your husband dropped me home, that's all he did.
And I understand. You know, I don't want you to think I'm trying to step on your toes, or that I'm unmannerly or anything.
I am so grateful for this opportunity, and I respect you so much, Mrs. Akari.
And I'm so sorry that I overstepped. I did ask to leave earlier that night, but I didn't want to miss out on the job opportunity.
And I was honestly really tired for many hours before, but your husband kept me there and kept asking me questions.
I thought maybe he was testing me or something, to see if this would be a priority. "