Chapter 6
Chapter Six
T he brief reads a little like my old dating profile once did: an age-appropriate man (35–47). Could wear flip-flops and shorts just as easily as pull off a suit. Knows his way around wine and champagne. Enjoys food. Likes long walks. (Ruby rolls her eyes at that one and declares it boring and typical, but I know it’s important that the man likes walking because I imagine he would have to keep following me and luring me back to the wedding, when I inevitably try to escape.) Likes books (‘loves’ would be a bonus), so we actually have things to talk about. Isn’t a weirdo. Or a peeping Tom. Doesn’t prey on the young. Doesn’t have a sports car and a mid-life-crisis look. Is not an asshole (very important). Would be okay to go by the name ‘Adam’.
‘Do you want this partner to look like anything in particular? Height? Weight?’ Ruby asks, her pen poised ready to take more notes.
‘Good question.’ I consider it. ‘He should be taller than me … by quite a bit,’ I muse aloud. ‘Built, but not gym-junkie built.’
‘So not at all like Adam?’ Ruby asks.
I feel shocked. ‘Oh no! No, nothing like that. I love Adam.’ I pause. ‘It’s just … I’m describing the kind of guy that my family would expect. And it’s that quintessentially typical Australian look.’ I shrug.
‘So your family don’t know anything about Adam?’ Ruby asks. ‘We’re narrowing the pool if we have to find a dark-haired, small, slim Clark Kent lookalike in about … um, four days, and I don’t know how easy that would be.’
‘No,’ I answer honestly. ‘My family and I haven’t caught up in a while.’
Ruby sighs in relief and writes that down. ‘Phew.’ She chews her pen again. ‘And are you offering … something ?’
Finally realising what she might be alluding to, I said, ‘God, no!’
‘No, Gem, I mean cash.’
‘Oh, should I? Or just pay for the flights and hotel?’ Thankfully I have savings, given I haven’t had a proper holiday in years, plus my annual leave was at an obscene level. And I’d be using all my credit card turned magically into frequent flyer points. Business class since I never get the chance to fly anywhere. ‘I guess both.’
Ruby shrugs.
‘Fine, make it five hundred dollars. That should be enough for them to undergo this pain,’ I mutter, trying not to think about how extortionate this is going to be. ‘But make it clear that they must act like they love me. But no kissing. And no sex – make that explicitly clear.’
This plus one must not, under any circumstance, think this is in any way a romantic trip. This is business only.