CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
April
‘He told you he loves you?’ Scarlet squeals.
‘Yes,’ I squeal equally excitably, when I return to our flat after another lovely weekend spent with Josh. This has become our routine over the past couple of months. I work from home midweek, because I’m in and out of the city so often. Then, on Friday nights, I head to Josh’s. It’s like living two different lives. I relish being so busy in my job and I love the time off I get with Josh from Friday to Sunday night. It was one of those gorgeous warm weekends when we could sit out and have lunch in his garden, surrounded by tulips and daffodils. It felt a shame to return to London this time.
Scarlet springs up from the sofa, where she’s cradling her phone in one hand and the TV control in the other. We both jump up and down with excitement, hugging each other as if one of us has won the Lottery. I feel as if I have . I am in a relationship and it is going well. I tell myself this a lot.
‘You didn’t text me and tell me!’ she exclaims.
‘There wasn’t time, what with all the telling one another we love each other all weekend. Josh also mentioned me moving in with him.’
‘You what?’ Scarlet says, the enthusiasm replaced by surprise.
Best to get this out of the way now, I think. Like ripping off a plaster. ‘I haven’t said yes,’ I tell her. ‘Because it wasn’t really a question, just a mention. But Josh did tentatively put the suggestion out there, as in “one day soon”.’
‘Wow,’ Scarlet says. ‘That’s big.’
‘I don’t know,’ I reply, with a level of dismissiveness I don’t feel – but I don’t want to brag. ‘We’ve kind of been discussing it on and off for a while …’
‘You’re not keen?’
‘I am, but not yet. I’m enjoying what we have.’
‘You and me? Or you and him?’ Scarlet jokes.
‘Both,’ I say truthfully. ‘It’s kind of perfect as it is, here and there. It’s too soon to move out of here and in with Josh. Plus, I kind of don’t want to yet.’
‘You’ve got your city life here and your country life with Josh,’ Scarlet agrees. ‘Why mess that up?’
The question is rhetorical, but I nod and then pause. And I’m not sure I agree with it being simplified like that, now I’m thinking about it. To mix the two into one wouldn’t be messing it up. It would be the next step. But now that I’ve got a job where I need to pop in and out of central London at a moment’s notice, it’s not ideal timing.
I’m getting ahead of myself. Josh and I have only just told each other we’re in love. There’s plenty of time for everything that might naturally follow. And I really hope it does. But I’m not in a rush, I remind myself. However, ‘I was starting to wonder if he’d say he loved me at some point. That can only be a good thing, can’t it – hanging on and waiting for it?’
‘I always think it’s so brave, being the first person to say it,’ Scarlet chimes in. ‘What happens if the other person doesn’t say it back? Humiliation. Total wipe-out.’
I am pleased Josh said it first, and I tell Scarlet all about how it happened. ‘We were sitting in his garden, basking in the spring sunshine, sipping local wine that Tamara and Mark had brought round the night before. Yet another new tub of ice cream to taste-test. Total perfection.’
‘Ooh, which flavour?’ she says, getting easily distracted from the main thrust of the story.
‘Christmas pudding.’
‘Yum,’ she says. ‘Though it’s a bit early for that, isn’t it?’
‘It takes a long time to plan these things, apparently.’
‘Is Tamara doing more new flavours? Can you bring some home for us?’
‘I think she’s doing mince-pie too.’
‘Ugh, no thanks.’ Scarlet shakes her head.
‘It’s got real flakes of pastry in it,’ I say, mimicking Tamara. I feel I’m being mean sometimes, and I make up for it by saying, ‘She’s building quite the empire.’
I’m proud of both her and Josh, who’s become more heavily involved in the business, as it turns out that Tamara’s recipe skills are par excellence, but her ability to understand the concept of a profit-and-loss sheet is less so. I’ve warmed to Tamara quite a bit over these past few months, which is handy as we see a lot of her.
‘Has her threat level diminished in any way?’ Scarlet asks, always on the lookout for hefty wedges of scandal.
‘She and Mark are a proper couple it seems, so yes, I’m not worried. And nor was I.’ Although I might have been, a tiny bit. After my ex cheated on me, I have become more sensitive about these things.
‘I was just looking out for you,’ she placates.
‘Thank you,’ I say. ‘Tamara’s sweet. She always has kind words for people, makes fabulous ice cream and is very giving with her friendship. To both Josh and me. It can be lonely in a rural environment. I wonder if she feels it too, even though she’s lived there for ages. She must have friends other than Josh, although she never mentions them. She works long hours. It’s tough to meet new people.’
‘I feel her pain,’ Scarlet says.
When we finish gossiping, Scarlet tells me she has news.
‘Go on,’ I say, inching forward on the sofa where we’ve camped out. Scarlet was watching a crime drama before I got in and it’s on pause in the background.
‘I’ve met someone.’
I draw in a breath. ‘This is even more exciting than Josh telling me he loves me. How? When? Who?’
‘Which bit do you want answering first?’ she asks joyfully.
‘All of it in one go, and quickly.’
She giggles and it’s lovely seeing her like this for the first time in … for ever.
‘He’s called Rory and I met him at the wedding in Scotland.’
I narrow my eyes. ‘But that was two months ago.’
‘I know. We messaged back and forth a bit, and I didn’t think it was going to go anywhere. I message a few guys a bit on dating apps, you know that. And because they go nowhere, I don’t mention them, but …’ She’s hesitant, cautious, as if she dare not say, ‘I think this has potential.’
‘Ooh,’ I make an appreciative noise.
‘It’s early days,’ she’s quick to say. ‘But he’s a gardener from Leith and we’re making plans to meet up soon. I’m going to go and visit him.’
My mind is blank. ‘Where’s Leith?’
She gives me a look. ‘Scotland. Edinburgh.’
My mouth falls open. ‘He lives in Scotland ?’
‘Yes,’ she confirms. ‘Did you do that thing where you think somewhere you’ve never heard of must be an outer-London suburb?’
‘Shut up,’ I joke. ‘OK. Right, I’m confused. How did you meet at the wedding?’
‘You set me a challenge to snog someone and—’
‘You did it? You said you didn’t. Did you snog a gardener? And you didn’t tell me ?’
‘No,’ Scarlet replies patiently. ‘I was nowhere near drunk enough to do that, but I was sort of on the lookout for someone to flirt with and if it led to snogging, then I was willing to get a bingo square ticked off …’ She shrugs. ‘But it didn’t, because Rory’s not like that. He’s quiet and reserved, but he’s so fit and sweet, and he sort of wooed me with his chat about flowers. He took me for a walk around the estate grounds and it was lovely, even though we couldn’t see much because it was dark, but there were lanterns flickering, and the house was behind us and …’ She sighs romantically. ‘It was like going back in time to a bygone age when men don’t try to sleep with you the minute they meet you. It was all my Jane Austen fantasies rolled into one evening.’
I sigh romantically too. ‘Does he work there? At the house? What was he doing gardening at night?’
‘No,’ she says as if I’ve asked the world’s silliest question. ‘He was a guest of the bride, who’s from there.’
‘Oh,’ I reply. And then I ask, ‘Are you shacking up in Scotland with a sexy gardener?’
‘Might be,’ Scarlet cries excitedly and we both squeal with joy.
‘You didn’t tell me any of that!’ I say, as we settle in and she shows me a picture on her phone of Rory from Leith.
‘I was practically bursting to tell you at the spa day, but you seemed so down and I didn’t want to brag. I also wasn’t sure if it was going to go anywhere, so …’
‘Was I down?’
She nods.
I don’t remember being down. I was definitely annoyed. Annoyed with Chris. Annoyed at a missed opportunity for … I don’t know what. Although, on reflection, I know it’s for the best. I’d never have made that suggestion not to get to know each other. It’s far too grown-up and mature for me to have thought of it. So I suppose I should be grateful that Chris made that suggestion, that he forced me into being mature.
I don’t want to go over all that again out loud, so I focus on Scarlet and her new man – and this relationship, which may or may not be the start of something.