CHAPTER 25
Summer
I’ve never been happier or more terrified in my life.
I lie on my side, my leg draped over Declan’s hard thigh. My head rests on his chest and his powerful arm cradles me all along my back, holding me close. I breathe him in, smiling, because I know this scent. He smells of home. He’s my home.
His scent is different now, though. My own scent has mingled with his. I smell myself on his fingers, mouth, and cock, anywhere on him that’s been inside of me or on me. I smell myself on his chest and arms and back and neck. Every place his skin has brushed against mine.
My body tingles. My heart beats slow and strong. I’ve been thoroughly fucked, and I think it’s safe to say that sex with Declan is my new favorite thing.
Yes, I’ve worked myself to physical exhaustion many times on the ranch, and I always love how I feel afterward. I’m relaxed inside and out. My edges are softened. I feel warm and accepting.
But that shit is nothing compared to the way I feel now. I’m giddy. I’m loose and liquid and hyper-alive. I’m slightly sore. I don’t care. The twinge only serves to remind me of the ecstasy that Declan dropped on me just moments ago.
I’m blissed out because I know I was right to save myself for this moment, this man. I have zero regrets.
But a part of me has never been so scared, because this is Declan. I’ve loved him since I was sixteen. He’s my best friend, part of my family by choice.
I can’t imagine trying to live without him in my life, but I have to keep my wits about me.
I know who Declan is. Jamie once called him “a ladies’ man,” which was so old-fashioned and stiff that it made me laugh. Special K’s comment was at the opposite end of the spectrum, referring to Declan as “the Gentleman Hoe” when he didn’t think I could hear.
So, yeah. I have wishes and dreams, but I have no illusions. The man I love, the man I prayed would one day make me a former virgin, is a total player.
It’s difficult to admit this to myself, but it’s almost certain that I’ll end up as just another notch on his belt. Eventually, he’ll want to move on, because that’s who he is. I’ve always known that.
His finger brushes down the inside of my right thigh. “What are these marks?” he asks me.
“What marks?” I glance down at myself, to the three round scars that have always been a part of me. “I have no idea. I’ve had them since I was a kid, so my guess is bad bug bites or something.”
“They’re in the shape of a scalene triangle. See?” He traces imaginary lines between the marks, all of different lengths.
“Huh. I never noticed that. Does that mean I’ve been abducted by the giant Mantis overlords?”
“My giant Mantis overlord, anyway.” Declan kisses my forehead and slips his arm and body from me.
“Moving on so soon?”
He laughs. I get to watch him walk naked into the kitchen. What a spectacular ass that man has, high and tight and all muscle. It’s an ass that looks good in everything—jeans, swim trunks, suit trousers, boxer briefs, and nothing at all.
Next, I get to watch him walk back to bed. I prop myself up on an elbow and swallow, overcome by the sight of all his individual parts moving in harmony as he makes his way across the room.
My mouth goes dry.
Declan’s still naked. He’s a graceful man for someone so huge and muscular. And naked. He’s carrying enough drinks and junk food to satisfy a high-school football team. While being naked.
Except for the red tartan selkie tattoo that flutters around his hip, the one that reminds him to conquer or die.
He’s sure conquered me.
“You good?” he asks.
I nod. “Yes, but I’m going to have to get used to that, I think.”
“To what?”
“You. Naked. It’s…” I sit up just as Declan plops down on the duvet, dumping an entire 7-Eleven’s worth of junk food by my side.
“What?”
I look into his eyes and shake my head. He’s not letting me out of this. “You’re intimidating. I don’t have much in my past to compare you to, but I’m pretty sure you’re… uh… gifted all around, but especially the dick department.”
He tips his head back and laughs. He’s so gorgeous I’m losing my train of thought. Dimples and dark curls, straining muscles and tendons, and an Adam’s apple I want to lick instead of kick.
Go figure.
Declan lowers his gaze to me again, his lips curled in an uneven smile. “Are you saying I can no longer model for the crooked wiener magazine ad?”
I snort. “They decided to go in another direction.”
He throws himself at me and we roll together across the gigantic bed, guffawing, crushing half the chips in the process.
I’m straddling him when we stop. He’s on his back beneath me.
And when our eyes meet, the laughing mellows.
Declan reaches up and brushes his fingertips down my cheek.
I close my eyes, tilt my head, and lean into his touch.
“You’re a dazzling force of nature, Summer. I can’t get enough of you.”
My eyes pop open. Declan’s got that look on his face, the one I saw when he told me he wasn’t laughing at my dress. He’s very serious. I lower my lips to his, my hair falling all around us as I gently caress his mouth with mine.
I can’t remember what my world was like before I knew the feel of his kiss. Or the touch of his big hands as they slide down my back and around my hips.
“Are you sore, Summer?”
“A little. Not so bad, really. I should be ready to go again in a year or so.”
He raises an eyebrow, which usually means he’s about to call my bluff. “I’ll wait. However long you need.”
“Riiiight.”
“I’m serious. I’ll wait. In the meantime, I’ll re-virginate myself in your honor.”
I dismount from his body and riffle through the snack bags. “Any preference?” I ask Declan. But since I already know the answer, I throw him a bag of Crunchy Cheetos. He catches it in mid-air. Then I hand him a cold bottled water.
“Am I that transparent?” he asks, ripping into the foil-lined bag.
“To me, yeah.” I reach out my hand toward the pile of snacks.
“Sun Chips,” he says.
I grab my Sun Chips and a water and look at him over my shoulder. I’m transparent to him, too.
“C’mere, Summer. Please.” Declan scoots up to the headboard and leans against it, patting his lap. I roll my water bottle toward him and crawl across the duvet with the chip bag caught in my front teeth.
I sit. We munch, looking at each other. “Can I ask you something, Declan?”
“Anything. But why bother? You probably already know the answer.”
“That’s part of the question.” I wipe chip crumbles off my chest and continue. “Does it irritate you to be known? That someone has already figured you out? Or is it comforting? Does it make you feel like you’re already loved?”
One of his dark brows scrunches over an eye as he considers my question. “A lot of people know me, Summer. My brothers, Dad and Phyllis, Jasmine, Victoria, and Emma. My Navy buddies. And you.”
I nod.
“But I think you most of all.”
“Really? How so?”
“Well, I tone myself down with kids, my sisters-in-law, and my elders. My Navy buddies have seen me at my worst and my best, and sure I would joke around, but they mostly know my warrior side. My brothers will do anything for me, and already have, but I can’t completely let my guard down with them, or they’ll pounce.
We’ve always been like that with each other. ”
“I know.”
“You do know.” Declan strokes my arm and then reaches for my hand. “You’ve been there to see me in most every setting, with everyone or no one at all. We’ve grown up having each other as a best friend.”
I nod.
“So, my answer to your question is yes, I take a great deal of comfort in being known. It doesn’t irritate me at all. And being loved by those who know me best is the greatest honor of my life.”
I didn’t expect that, and I have to look away for a moment because I feel tears welling in my eyes. “Okay,” I say, then pull myself together to look at him. “You may have noticed that I can be a guarded person.”
“I’ve noticed.” He smiles.
“You should know why I was a virgin until… well, up until a couple hours ago.”
Now both his eyebrows are scrunched up. “Okay.”
“I was waiting. For you.”
Declan stays silent, but he spills his Cheetos all over the duvet. The maid is going to hate us.