CHAPTER 40
Summer
My first conscious awareness is the screaming.
My first thought is, “who’s the pussy screaming like a girl?” But it doesn’t take long for me to realize that it’s me—I’m the pussy.
“Where’s the pain coming from?” That voice stops my screaming. It’s Declan’s voice. I don’t understand why he’s here. Where am I? I thought I was dead. I’m cold and wet.
Is he dead, too?
I try to open my eyes, but I can’t.
I try to talk, to ask Declan why I can’t open my eyes, but I can’t talk, either.
The thumping sound is so loud that the ground shakes. Louder even than the Vegas club on New Year’s Eve. I don’t know what’s happening, but it doesn’t matter what it is because I can’t do anything to stop it. Then the wind whips.
“I got you,” I hear Declan say. “I got you, Summer. I’m right by your side. I won’t let anything hurt you.”
I try to smile because I’m already plenty hurt—the pain is everywhere all at once—but I love that he wants to protect me.
“That’s my girl,” he says in my ear. “That’s my beautiful, sweet girl. I got you. I love you.”
Then, he’s gone, replaced by two or three men I don’t know, but they’re working quickly. They put something on my neck, move my head, move my body.
They’re not talking to me, only to each other, but their hands are on me. Working.
Don’t they know I’m dying?
Don’t they know they can’t help me?
And then I’m moving. Suspended in the air, supported by something hard underneath me.
There’s a sound of metal on metal, and the pounding and thumping gets louder. I feel like I’m lifting high.
“I’m still with you,” Declan says into my ear. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe.”
I try to smile again because I’m not safe, but I love that he wants me to be safe. I love him.
I love Declan.
My husband.
Drifting off, I settle into a nice dream of clouds and soft hues of white and gray. I go in and out of this dream, pulled out by loud noises, by more hands on me, and by yelling.
Lots and lots of yelling.
“Open your eyes, Summer!”
It’s a voice I recognize. It’s not Declan. It’s female.
“Open your eyes, Summer!” she repeats. “Right fucking now!”
Oh. It’s Phoebe. I wonder where I am.
Am I in Honduras at her wedding? How does she like being married? I bet she has a big, fat diamond. How is she going to work as a nurse with a big, fat diamond ring on her hand? Will she even be able to move it? But she has to have a ring like that. Evander would insist on it.
Because he’s so fancy and she’s as sweet as a daisy.
“Open your fucking eyes, or I’m going to slap the shit out of you!” Phoebe hollers.
I want to laugh, but I can’t. I’ve never heard Phoebe yell like this before or use those words. She sounds like me. And I’m sure she would never slap me, let alone slap the shit out of me.
She slaps me on my cheek and my eyes fly open.
“There you go. There’s Summer,” she says, and I realize I can see her smiling face.
There’s a huge bright light shining down on me, and I wonder if that’s the moon.
Maybe this is heaven. Is Phoebe in heaven with me?
I’m so sad she’s dead! She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever known.
She doesn’t deserve to die. She just got married.
I want her to live a long, happy life with Evander.
And if she’s in heaven, I hope she gets to keep working as a nurse to help the sick people in heaven.
Are there any sick people in heaven?
“Stop crying,” she orders. I pay attention and stop crying. Was I crying? I never cry!
“We’re helping you, Summer. You need to tell me where you have pain. Where does it hurt? Think a moment and try to tell me.”
But I can’t speak. It hurts too much. I try to move my arm, but it’s like I’m strapped to a board or something.
“Does your head hurt?” Phoebe asks.
I blink once.
“Okay. Now, you can rest,” she tells me. “You rest, and we’ll fix you right up.”
I hear a man ordering people around with words I don’t understand, and then the pain disappears, and I fear nothing.
I happily drift away.
When I come to, I’m lying in a hospital bed with Declan by my side. He’s slumped forward in a chair that he’s pulled up next to the bed. His face has fallen to the bed; it’s all smushed against the blankets. He’s clutching my hand.
But something’s choking me, and I panic. I yank my hand from Declan and bring it to my mouth, trying to remove the horrible monster trying to strangle me. Declan shoots awake, gasps, and pulls my hands away from my mouth. I fight against him, desperate because I’m suffocating.
“Nurse!” he shouts. “Phoebe!
“Please stop,” Declan says to me, softly, his eyes welling with tears. “There’s a tube in your throat that’s been helping you breathe. You’ll really hurt yourself if you yank it out.”
“There you are,” I hear Phoebe say as she enters the room. “Right on time. We’re taking the tube out now. Don’t fight, and it will be out in a jiffy.”
I let Declan hold both my hands and I hold my breath while they pull the tube up, away, and out of me. When it’s finally gone, I open my eyes and see Declan’s concerned face. He looks like he’s aged ten years. He hasn’t shaved, and his hair is messed up.
I’ve never seen his hair messed up.
But he’s so handsome. I can’t believe he’s mine.
“Am I dying?” I ask him. My voice is a thick, croaky mess, but I manage to get the words out.
“No,” he says, bringing my hand to his lips. “You’re just fine. You have a concussion. They put you into a coma while the swelling went down. You’re going to be just fine.”
“What day is it?” I ask.
“It’s Friday,” Phoebe says. “You’ve been in a coma for four days.”
“I thought this was heaven,” I say.
“It is now,” Declan says, and tears slip down his cheeks.