Chapter 8 #2
It’s such a beautiful setting here too and everyone seems so relaxed and happy.
Apart from Raffa, that is.
I swear I can feel him vibrating next to me.
He’s obviously twitchy with the need to get back to the work he’s not doing to be here right now.
It hurts my heart to think about how he’s ignoring all this – the human connection of an event like this – in favour of a cold, hard screen.
It’s not right.
As the celebrant brings the ceremony to a close, the photographer steps up and his assistant starts organising people into groups for the family photos.
Raffa is approached almost immediately and asked to join the group with his parents and the bride and groom, once they’ve taken a few shots of just the happy couple.
‘Do you want me in these?’ I ask Raffa under my breath. I don’t want to assume anything and get up to go with him only to find I’m not wanted.
‘Yes, of course,’ Raffa says with determination in his voice. ‘If it’s okay with you?’
‘It’s fine with me. I just didn’t want you to have to explain who I am in the future to anyone looking at Darian and Margot’s wedding photos on their mantlepiece.’ I grin after saying this, though it doesn’t make me happy, thinking about not being in Raffa’s life after this week is over.
It actually makes me want to cry again.
There’s a loaded pause where Raffa stares into my eyes, his expression unreadable, as if he’s processing what I’ve just said and is formulating a response.
I wait with my breath caught in my throat.
He opens his mouth to speak, but before he can say the words, the photographer’s assistant bustles back over and asks us to follow him to the beautiful flower-adorned archway on the beach, where the photos are being staged.
As directed, we take our places at the edge of the group, next to Raffa’s stepmum and dad.
‘Wasn’t that a beautiful ceremony,’ Raffa’s dad says to me, flashing a beatific grin.
I experience a little shock of recognition when I see Raffa’s smile in his.
It makes me feel suddenly more connected to him.
Like I’m seeing him as a person in his own right – like an older version of his son – with his own hopes and fears for the future, rather than the enigmatic figurehead of the family.
‘It was gorgeous,’ I agree. ‘They look so happy.’
We both turn to look at Darian and Margot, who are staring into each other’s eyes, their focus entirely on each other, as if the rest of us aren’t even here.
I experience a sudden craving for someone to look at me like that.
But I know that’s unlikely to happen when I’m so actively avoiding relationships right now.
Maybe one day…
Raffa slides his arm around my waist and draws me closer against him, as the photographer’s assistant scuttles back and forth along the line asking us to squeeze together, and my heartrate immediately picks up.
I worry for a second that he’ll be able to feel how fast my blood is pulsing through my body and I take a couple of breaths to try and calm it.
Impossible.
Especially as I’m so aware of the heat of his skin pressed against mine and the heady, delicious natural scent of him twisting into my senses.
I’m loving the feel of his hard body against me, so much so, I actually feel bereft once the photos are finished and he pulls away.
‘Okay, I’m going to head back to the villa,’ Raffa murmurs into my ear, sending even more flickers of yearning along my nerve endings.
‘Right,’ I say, a lump of disappointment lodging in my throat. I want him to stay here with me and socialise with these lovely people for a bit, but I know I can’t ask him to do that. That wasn’t the deal.
It doesn’t mean I have to go and sit alone in the villa though. I’m here to have fun, not stare at the walls while he works.
‘Well, I’m going to hang here for a bit and socialise, so I’ll see you back there in a while,’ I say, determinedly.
There’s an infinite pause before he nods and says, ‘Okay, fine. See you later.’
Is he worried about what I’m going to say about him while he’s not around? I’m not going to shit-talk him in any way, of course, but I’d love to find out more about what’s actually going on with him and his family from another source – and this is a perfect opportunity.
I watch as he heads off, staring straight ahead and giving off clear don’t-speak-to-me-vibes by taking the long way around the rest of the congregation that’s still milling around, enjoying the view while waiters glide among them offering brightly coloured cocktails and flutes of champagne.
I grab a glass of bubbly that one of the servers offers me from a tray loaded with them and take a sip while I look around me, gauging who the best person would be to approach for a friendly chat.
After a minute of sizing everyone up, I spot one of Darian’s friends called Danny, who I’d chatted with briefly on our first night here, when I was waiting for Raffa to finish a conversation with one of his relatives.
I casually make my way over to where he’s standing with a couple of older-looking women, who I suspect are Margot’s family members.
‘Hey, Danny,’ I say when I get close enough for him to hear me. The sound levels of chatter are maxed out, with everyone high on second-hand romance and pre-lunch alcohol.
‘Oh, hey, Ida. How’re you doing?’ Danny says, turning to me with a wide smile.
It seems he’s pleased to see me. Perhaps he’s hoping I’ll rescue him from the conversation he’s found himself in.
‘I’m good,’ I say, returning his smile. ‘Raffa had to go back to the villa to work, so I’m on my lonesome.’
‘No, you’re not,’ Danny says, ‘Allow me to be Raffa’s stand-in.’ He holds up a deferential hand. ‘For keeping you company, I mean.’
‘That would be great,’ I say.
‘Let me introduce you to some more of Darian’s friends. They’ve been desperate to meet you, but they’re nervous about approaching Raffa so they’ve kept their distance. He’s a bit bloody intimidating, to be honest with you.’
I swat an airily dismissive hand at this. ‘He’s just preoccupied with a big business deal that’s going down so his head’s elsewhere.’
I don’t like the idea of anyone thinking badly of Raffa, but Danny has a point about him being hard to approach. He’s definitely given strong closed-off vibes today, that’s for sure.
‘Yeah, maybe. But he’s never been keen on me. I’ve been good mates with Darian since our school days, so I was around when his mum and Raffa’s dad got together and there was a lot of bad shit that went down, which I guess he knows I know about.’
‘Oh?’ I say, not wanting to seem nosey, but desperate to hear what Danny has to say about this bit of Raffa’s past that he’s so far neglected to tell me about.
‘Yeah. It was tough on all of them. I mean, I get why Raffa was upset. It all got really heavy when he disappeared for a bit though and they had to get the police involved to find him.’ He chugs the rest of his drink, then swipes another one from a passing waiter’s tray.
‘But I’m sure you know all about that anyway.
How long have you been together?’ he asks, catching me off-guard as I’m still wondering what the ‘bad shit’ could have been.
‘Err. Not that long. We met online first, then got together in person fairly recently. But I feel like I know him really well from all the late-night messaging.’
Danny nods, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a grin.
‘So I guess he’s a big fan of your show?
Have you persuaded him to go on it yet? He’d make an audience-pleasing opponent, since you guys are seeing each other.
There’s clearly a lot of chemistry between you.
Everyone’s been saying it. You’d get top ratings for a show like that. ’
‘Not yet, but I’m working on it,’ I say breezily, even though my interest is piqued at the information about other people noticing that me and Raffa have chemistry.
‘Well, good luck with persuading him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. He’s never taken direction from anyone else well, as far as I know.’ Danny grins, then takes another big swallow of his drink.
‘Yeah. Thanks,’ I say, aware of a strong sense of challenge growing within me.
I’m desperate to ask more about what happened with Raffa and his parents but it feels like the moment’s passed to do that without it looking sus.
Danny obviously thinks I should already know all about it and he might question how genuine our relationship is if I ask him to tell me more.
I’ll have to subtly try and get it out of Raffa at some point.