Chapter 22
TWENTY-TWO
“I hardly had time for dating. If I wasn’t working,
I was sleeping so I had enough energy to work.”
—excerpt from the unpublished memoir,
Darling, I Must Say by Gloria Hayes
MISSY: How do you feel about dancing?
ME: Not great.
MISSY: Because the bridesmaids decided they want to put together a dance number with the groomsmen for the reception and, of course, that includes you.
ME: I’m not really a dancer.
MISSY: I’ll let them know you’re in.
“What is this place?” Hallie asked as she gazed around the community room at Shady Cove.
It was Thursday BINGO night. I hadn’t planned to bring her along, but Abe had called earlier to ask if I’d stay late—some emergency with the shop that involved a huge wasp nest and a visit to the ER for one of the guys—and tonight was the night I’d promised Karen I’d run BINGO night. Thus, Hallie came with me.
“This is Shady Cove.”
The room had been transformed into a BINGO hall with three rows of long tables and chairs.
I waved at a cluster of residents already seated.
Some people came to have fun; some came to draw blood.
Those players had a system—daubers in an array of colors, good luck charms (one of them had no less than ten Troll dolls lined up in front of her, their neon hair waving in the breeze from the air conditioning), and snacks.
“Everyone’s so old,” she whispered in awe.
“It’s not cold in here at all,” said a voice from behind us. We turned to find Jonathan giving us a perplexed look. Apparently, his hearing was almost as bad as his sight.
“I didn’t say cold. I said everyone’s so ol—”
I cut her off. “Hallie, this is Mr. Clark, he lives here.” I put a hand on her back and gently pushed her forward. “And this is Hallie. Her dad had to work late, so she came along with me.”
Jonathan crossed his arms. “Are you one of those kids who spends all day playing games on those contraptions?”
Hallie shook her head. “No, sir.”
“What about making those stupid videos all the people look at on their phones?”
“I’m only nine. I’m not allowed to have a phone yet.”
“Good. Kids these days don’t need to be on all those gadgets. When I was your age…”
“And who is this beautiful little creature?” Gloria interrupted what was sure to be a rant of epic proportions.
Hallie’s mouth dropped open at the sight in front of her.
Gloria was dressed in gold from head-to-toe, earrings and shoes included.
Her blouse had a row of bedazzled fringe along the hem that sparkled when the light caught it.
The same fringe lined a scarf which she’d tied around her head, one end longer than the other and draped over her shoulder.
If her intention was to look as though a fortune teller and a disco ball had a baby, she’d nailed it.
“This is quite the outfit,” I said. She’d once told me her goal was to never wear the same clothes twice for the rest of her life and she was not kidding.
Gloria preened. “This old thing? I was feeling especially bright today.”
“I see.”
“Now, tell me who you are, darling?”
Hallie clutched my hand, her palm sweaty. “I’m Hallie.”
Gloria smiled. “Oh, I’m so glad to meet you. I am Gloria. I’ve heard so many things about you and your father. You must come sit next to me and we can get to know each other.”
With a sigh of resignation, I turned to Hallie. “You don’t have to sit next to the weird woman if you don’t want to, Hal.”
Gloria winked down at Hallie. “I’m the good kind of weird.” She patted the huge purse on her shoulder. “I also have loads of candy to share.”
Hallie tugged on my hand. “I want to sit with Miss Gloria.”
“Yes, Hallie, go with the stranger so she can give you candy.” I leaned in and whispered in Gloria’s ear. “Don’t you dare drill her for information, you old gossip.”
She stamped one of her gold shoe-clad feet. “I am not old; I am wise.”
I bit back a smile as Hallie trailed behind Gloria toward a table, the two already giggling.
Abe arrived around seven thirty as I was in the middle of refereeing a very intense argument.
Mr. Terrance was red-faced and waving his arms around like one of those giant, blow-up figures in front of a car dealership. He was also wearing a hat that said OH 69—classy, I know. “I said BINGO first. I yelled it clear as day.”
“You did not.” Mrs. Glass tugged on her neon-green shirt—it read BINGO, BABY! She was also red-faced and shooting a fierce glare at Mr. Terrance. Could we say unresolved sexual tension? She pointed to the man sitting next to her. “Greg, tell him I said it first.”
Greg looked like he wanted to melt into a puddle under the table rather than deal with this.
He mumbled something that was inaudible.
Not that it mattered because Mr. Terrance had moved onto part two of his strategy.
When yelling didn’t work, he apparently liked to clutch his chest and shout, “This is it. The big one is here.”
No one reacted to Mr. Terrance’s declaration. From the corner of my eye, I saw one of the nursing assistants leisurely striding in his direction, her expression more annoyed than concerned.
Mrs. Glass threw her hands up. “Thank the sweet Lord. It’s about time. That means I won then, right?”
“Alright, alright.” I rubbed my forehead. “The big one is not here, and I declare this round a tie.”
“Does this mean we both won or we both lost?” Mrs. Glass asked.
“Yeah, we can have a first winner and a second winner.” He poked a finger in his chest. “I’ll be first winner.”
And they were off again. Maybe I should lock the two of them in a room for the night. See what happened?
The whole room groaned. My eyes darted for the nearest exit. But they found Abe instead, arms crossed, leaning against the door jamb, grinning at the scene before him. I would have been amused too, if I hadn’t been the one who was supposed to be in charge here.
But then Gloria stepped in and made it worse. “Hallie darling, is that your father?”
She said it loud enough and with such feeling, it was as though she was auditioning for a very dramatic Broadway play.
Half the room turned to see where she was pointing.
Abe straightened and gave an awkward wave.
Hallie hopped up and raced to her father.
She grabbed his hand and walked him over to Gloria, who was practically vibrating with anticipation.
“Hell-ooo.” Gloria patted her hair. “I’ve heard you were handsome, and you certainly are.”
I cradled my head in my hands. Why couldn’t Gloria be one of those forgetful old people? But no, she was sharp as a… very, very sharp tack.
Gloria patted Abe’s arm and then squeezed it. “Oh, my, what big muscles you have.”
The whole room seemed to have forgotten about the fight and was now entranced at whatever was unfolding. I saw Jonathan whispering furiously to his wife. Although I couldn’t make out the words exactly, I was pretty sure he mentioned tattoos and long hair.
“It’s, ah, nice to meet you,” Abe said. His eyes darted to me with a “please save me” plea in them.
I hopped down from the stage and hustled over to them. “Oh, good, you made it. I bet you and Hallie want to head out as soon as possible.”
“Don’t be rude,” Gloria said. “Introduce the man.”
“Abe, Gloria.” I turned to Gloria, shooting daggers from my eyeballs like I was getting paid to do it. “Gloria, Abe, Hallie’s dad.”
Gloria smiled gleefully. She may have been eighty-seven, but she was a shark in disguise… and she smelled blood. “It’s so very nice to meet you, Abe. Is that short for Abraham?”
“Um, yeah?”
“Such a strong, manly name. Why, I bet you could part the Red Sea all on your own.”
The corners of his mouth tightened as though he were fighting off a grin. “I think that was Moses.”
“Was it? Well, I’m sure Abraham would have done it if he’d had the chance.” Gloria placed a hand on Hallie’s shoulder. “Your daughter is delightful. You and your wife must be so proud.”
Abe shifted on his feet. “Ah, no wife. Just Hallie and me.”
Gloria pressed a hand to her chest in shock. “No wife. What a shame. Maybe we should find you one?”
I clapped my hands once. “And that’s the cue for Abe and Hallie to get home. I’m sure they have… something to do and we have a game to finish.”
But one glance around the room showed that people had shuffled off. A group had taken out a puzzle and were already making progress; even Mr. Terrance and Mrs. Glass were having a non-combative conversation. BINGO night was over.
“Thank Iris for bringing you along,” Abe said to Hallie.
“Thanks, Iris. It was fun.” Hallie waved. “And I liked meeting Miss Gloria, too.”
“You too, darling.” She flashed Abe a smile.
“It was so nice to meet you, too. Did you know Iris is helping out with our dance this weekend? It’s a forties theme.
” She gasped. “I’ve just had the grandest idea.
You should come. Get some dance practice in, since you’ll be going to that idiot’s wedding together. ”
Abe stepped closer. “He is an idiot, isn’t he? I’m glad someone else agrees.”
“How she hasn’t seen it really speaks to this blind loyalty of hers. Our girl thinks she’s so big and strong, but even she needs protection sometimes.”
“Our girl?” I repeated. No one was listening to me.
“I think she can take care of herself. She doesn’t need anyone to save her,” Abe said. “But she could probably use a little help every now and then. Like all of us, I guess.”
“Darling, that is the perfect way to put it.” She leaned in. “But if I ever meet that poor excuse for a man, I fear I’ll need help burying the body.”
Abe grinned. “You have my word.”
What was happening here? Were these two bonding over murdering my ex-boyfriend?
“You’ll come on Saturday evening? Bring Hallie with you. Please? Like I said, think of it as practice for that wedding reception.” She turned a smile to me, but her eyes said gotcha. “Isn’t this such a good idea, Iris?”
It probably was a good idea. The point was to look like we were together, as in a couple. Couples danced and stuff. I knew that, but it did nothing to stop the flutter in my stomach—part nerves, part something else. Trepidation? Or was it anticipation? “I guess?”
“That’s settled, then. We’ll see you all on Saturday.” She waved a hand vaguely in my direction. “Iris has the details. I look forward to getting to know you both even more.”
With a winning smile and a dramatic turn, Gloria glided out of the room, only stopping once to whisper in my ear. “I told you I’d get to meet him.”
“Watch it, old lady, or I’m going to tell everyone you cheat at poker.”
She just laughed and patted my cheek. “You love me.”
Abe watched her walk away, his expression a little in awe. “I like her.”
“Yeah, she’s something else,” I muttered.