Chapter 38
THIRTY-EIGHT
“I strived to reach the highest level of humility.
Obviously, I failed.”
—excerpt from the unpublished memoir,
Darling, I Must Say by Gloria Hayes
I had a problem.
It was Abe-shaped and it was showing up everywhere. He showed up at the Sit-n-Eat almost daily, I saw him every evening when he came home from work, and lately, he’d been featuring heavily in my dreams. He was unavoidable. To be honest, I didn’t want to avoid him.
It was the Friday night of a very long week (had the wedding only been last weekend?) and Abe asked me to stay late so he could have dinner with some friends.
I figured the guy didn’t get to do a lot of things with friends and I didn’t mind staying with Hallie.
We binged a few more episodes of The Beautifully Broken and read a chapter of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe at bedtime.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” she asked when I finished reading.
“Nope.” I shifted on the bed where I was lying next to her.
“Why?”
“I just… don’t. I had one for a long time, but it didn’t work out.”
“If you wanted, my dad could be your boyfriend,” Hallie said.
I did what any normal adult would do in the face of this statement—choked on air and coughed until tears ran down my face.
“Warn a person before you say something like that,” I said when I regained the ability to talk. “I am sure your dad has no problem finding his own girlfriends.”
She rolled her eyes. “Nah-uh. I keep telling him he should get one, but he says he already has his hands full with one girl and that girl is me.”
“That’s sweet. He’s putting you first. That’s what a dad should do.”
“I just would kind of a like a mom.”
“You already have a mom.”
“I guess.” She picked at her blanket. “She calls me every Sunday afternoon even if I don’t really want to talk to her. Dad says it’s important, so I try. She never comes and sees me.”
“It sounds like she might be trying, too.” My heart twisted for this little girl who I understood far more than she realized. “Have you talked to your dad about this?”
“I don’t want to hurt his feelings. But all the kids at camp get picked up by their moms and some of the moms come and help sometimes, and yesterday Audrina told me it was weird I didn’t have a mom.”
Of course, Audrina. “You know the best thing about being in Two Harts now is that you have your Aunt Ali and grandma and—”
She turned her face toward me, her brown eyes serious and so hopeful. “And you? Do I have you, too?”
“Always. Now. Sleep. For tomorrow, we shop.” We would be hitting up a few thrift stores in hopes of finding one or two of the fifty-five hundred things we needed for this pageant.
Hallie giggled.
After we said our good nights, I curled up on the couch and found a whole classic movie streaming channel had been added to the TV. I tried not to read anything into that. It didn’t take me long to find one to watch.
Abe arrived within the first ten minutes of the movie. He sat down on the opposite side of the couch and set his feet on the coffee table. Pink toenails with heart stickers today. “So, what’s this one called?”
“Magnificent Obsession.” I paused the movie. “Rock Hudson is rich and bored. His antics lead to Jane Wyman’s husband dying. He tries to make amends and ends up falling for her. I’ve heard it’s very melodramatic.”
“Sort of like that show. What’s it called?” He pretended to think about it. “Oh, I know, The Beautifully Broken.”
“Hallie, you tattletale,” I muttered. “I’m sorry. I won’t let her watch it anymore.”
“No, don’t do that. I’m enjoying her recaps. Plus, I need to find out if the triplets all have the same father.”
I laughed. “Just remember, I’m keeping her alive. That was basically my only goal.”
“And now she’s watching soap operas and doing a beauty pageant.”
“I can multi-task, obviously.”
“Obviously.” He settled into the couch and looked at me expectantly. “Are we watching this?”
“Oh, right.” I pressed play and passed over the bowl of popcorn I’d made.
An hour and a half later, I was quietly sobbing as the movie ended. I felt Abe get up and a moment later, a box of tissues appeared in front of me.
“I’m not crying.” I grabbed a tissue and blew my nose loudly.
“Absolutely not,” Abe said. He sat down but, this time, closer. He’d taken a shower when he got home, and that clean, spicy smell clung to him.
“I don’t cry.”
“I know. You’re a very tough girl.”
“Woman.”
“Right. Sorry. Woman.” He cleared his throat. “Do you want a hu—?”
He didn’t get the whole word out before I launched myself at him. With an oophf, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I curled into him, rested my head on his chest.
“Thanks,” I whispered.
His hand rubbed my back in long, soothing motions. I sighed. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gotten a real hug from someone who wasn’t my mother. My body soaked it all in, melting into him with a long sigh.
We sat like that for what felt like forever and not nearly long enough before he cleared his throat. “I don’t know if you heard, but Randolph is reopening their old movie theater.”
Randolph was a town about an hour west of Two Harts. “I hadn’t heard anything about it.”
“There’s a grand reopening next week. They’re playing Casablanca.”
I froze. “Really?”
Casablanca wasn’t just any classic movie. It was The Classic. I’d had many opportunities to watch it, but I’d been saving it to watch with someone special. Abe knew that, too. I remember sitting right here on this couch telling him about it.
“I was wondering if you wanted to go.”
I wanted to go so badly, but I wasn’t sure if it was such a good idea. Plus it was Casablanca; that meant something. At least, to me. “Is that a good idea?”
“It doesn’t have to be more than just friends seeing a movie together.” His voice was calm but under my hand, I could feel his heart beating double time. Absently, he started to run his fingers through my hair.
As one does with a friend.
“Yes, of course. That’s all it would be,” I said quickly. I kept myself tucked into his side. Somehow it was easier to say all this without looking him in the eye.
“Exactly. I’m a father. I have responsibilities.” He seemed to be talking to himself more than me. “I’m trying to do the right thing here.”
“The right thing.” I wouldn’t expect anything less from him, but I couldn’t help the wave of rejection that washed over me. I sat up and faced him. His eyes were soft, almost tender. “If things weren’t so complicated, would it be a date?”
He brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. His gaze held mine, steady and true. “Yes, it would be. The first of many, I think.”
I swallowed and looked away. “That’s what I thought.”