Chapter 21 #2
“I’ve been in remission for six months, and my doctor says I have the all-clear.
It’s something I don’t really like to talk about.
My grandparents—obviously, they love me—and they have allowed me to just find myself again.
I think when you go through a serious illness, there comes a moment where you realize that you’re not going to be here forever.
Your own mortality is called into question.
And none of us know how much time we have left on this earth.
And for some of us, life is cut short. And it really did something to my mental well-being as well as my physical and emotional.
I had the world in my hands, for all intents and purposes.
I had everything—a loving family, money.
I’m the CEO of a billion-dollar company.
I dated who I wanted to. I was in a relationship with a stunning supermodel.
” I see Gina’s eyes look downward. “She wasn’t as beautiful as you, though, Gina. ”
“You’re just saying that,” she says, but she smiles.
“I’m not. She didn’t have your heart. She didn’t have your mind. She didn’t have your sense of humor, and she didn’t have your beauty. I hope you know that you are the full package. You are stunning. Absolutely beautiful. I realized that from the very first moment I saw you.”
“You think?” she says, tilting her head to the side.
“I don’t just think. I know. You’re wonderful.
” I’m about to tell her I love her again, but I’ve never said those words to anyone else before in my life who wasn’t my family.
And I just find it hard to say them to her.
Even though I feel the emotions. I feel the way my heart lights up when she gazes at me.
I feel the way her touch sets me on fire.
And I feel the way that I always want to be around her.
I’m always thinking of her. I always want to talk to her.
And I know, just from the fact that I’ve shared my secret with her, that that is the biggest sign of all.
I love Gina Spellman. And yet, I don’t know how to tell her.
“You didn’t have to share that with me,” she says. “I didn’t want you to share something so private and personal just because you felt bad.”
“I didn’t share it because I felt bad, Gina.
I shared it because it felt like the right moment, and you feel like the right person.
It’s hard keeping a secret like that. It’s hard going day by day and feeling more alive than you’ve ever felt in your life, yet not being able to share that with people.
When I look at the grass, I see the vivid greens.
I see the dew. When I look at the sky, I see the blues and the clouds.
And when I touch rain, it is all wondrous.
And that’s why I became the gardener, because there’s nothing more beautiful than watching plants and flowers and fruits and vegetables grow.
You see the entire life cycle. You see a seed become something beautiful and nourishing and life-changing.
And it’s made me connect to the earth in a way I’ve never connected before.
Everything used to be about money for me—cars and houses.
And you know what? I used to love the paparazzi.
I used to love for them to see me at events with different women on my arm.
And I won’t lie—I was about that life. And maybe I’m a hypocrite because now, it just makes me upset and annoyed.
I know that I’m contradictory. And maybe if I’d never gotten cancer, I wouldn’t feel this way. But I do.”
“That’s valid, Hunter. You went through a really life-changing experience. And all I can say is I am so glad that you’re in remission and that you’re better. That must have been really, really hard.”
“I’m lucky. I have money, and I got the best treatments and had the best doctors.
I didn’t have to worry about medical bills, and I know a lot of people don’t have that.
I’m blessed. And that was something else that really made me sort of take pause, because I have access to things that other people don’t.
And I’m still trying to figure out how I can give back to the world in a meaningful way that my family really hasn’t, up until this point. ”
“Wow. That’s huge.”
“My father lives off of his trust fund, and that’s fine.
The other day, I was speaking to my granddad, and he was talking about duty.
About what it meant to be a Waverly and how it comes with pomp and circumstance.
And the ultimate goal of the Waverlys—it’s been to grow the fund, right?
It’s been to make more and more money so that we remain a steadfast family.
But maybe that’s not really what the goal should be.
Maybe that’s not what life should be about.
Maybe I shouldn’t be thinking about keeping as much money for future generations as I should be thinking about spreading the wealth and helping others and looking at my duty to mankind, not as my duty to future generations of Waverlys. ”
“So, what—you’re going to give it all away?” she says, smiling.
“I don’t know. I mean, it’s not mine to give away right now.” I sigh. There are just so many questions, so many things, so many philosophies. And that’s why I’ve been here. I’ve been trying to find myself. “And ironically, the best part of all of this is that I found you.”
“You really mean that, don’t you?”
“Of course, I do. My girlfriend left me because she didn’t want to be with a sick man.
And going through chemo—it is not for the faint of heart.
I don’t really want to talk about it, but it was a really life-changing experience.
And honestly, because I was going through a lot and some of the board knew about it, they held a vote of no confidence in me.
Certain friends stopped returning my calls.
I felt like I wasn’t who I thought I was.
I felt like the friendships that I had built, both socially and in the business world, weren’t real.
I felt like I was loved for being a Waverly and for being strong.
I was loved for what I could provide. But I was just another rung on a ladder to other people’s riches and success.
My grandparents, more than anyone, helped me to recover.
And I’m in the process of rebuilding my life into this new future.
And I don’t know what that looks like. I’ve been working remotely here.
The stock market would panic if they knew I’d been sick. ”
She scoots closer to me and wraps her arms around me.
“I’m so sorry you went through that, Hunter. And I’m so sorry that you felt like some of your friends weren’t real, that those people weren’t genuine. And I want you to know that I like you for you—not because you’re a handsome billionaire.”
“But that doesn’t hurt, does it?” I say.
“I mean, could it ever hurt that you’re a handsome billionaire?
” She laughs and touches the side of my face.
“But really and truly, I do like you for Hunter—for the way you make me feel and for, well… just everything.” She smiles at me.
“Thank you for sharing, and thank you for trusting me. And I guess we both have a little growing to do.”
“A little? A lot. You want to go home?”
“Yeah,” she says. “Let’s go to your cabin.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” I put the car into reverse and pull off.
I don’t turn on the radio, and we don’t talk.
We just sit there in companionable silence.
I can feel the lightness between us. I can feel the love radiating between us, even though neither one of us has said it.
We’ve both been searching and looking for that person.
And we somehow found each other in this crazy world.
Neither one of us is perfect. Neither one of us has all the answers.
But I know we can figure it out together.
I know that Gina Spellman is my one. My person.
I suddenly realize that my entire life has been building to this one moment, because this one moment makes me feel like I’m living my best, most authentic life.
My heart soars with love and happiness because I have my girl beside me. I have a woman who was made for me.