Chapter 9 The Chase
The Chase
Seb
My tailored trousers were not designed for jogging, especially not through a creek bed shortcut. By the time I’m in sight of Tasha’s row of bungalow, my Christian Louboutin Greggo are beyond saving.
I don’t care.
Tasha’s face at the pregnancy announcement was more than about her ex having a baby. I know her. I felt her last night. I tasted her last night.
Natasha Forrest has no residual feelings for her ex. Yes, she ghosted me today, but I get it. We moved from friends to flirting to making emotional declarations within the space of a reality TV romance—no offence to Elena and Kye.
“Where is she?” I ask the second Hunter answers.
“Who?”
“Don’t start that bullshit with me,” I warn. “Where’s Tasha? I saw you. I saw you say something to her before she ran out.”
“We don’t know, but she shouldn’t be alone,” Olivia urges in the background.
I still. There’s a person on her balcony.
I let myself think it. That she ran because she’s done.
That last night was a mistake she’s had all day to regret.
That I waited ten years and the answer was always going to be no, and I’ve just been too stubborn to hear it.
Three seconds. Then I see her behind the palm tree and start moving, because I would rather hear no from her mouth than assume it from her silence.
“I can see her. She’s back at her bungalow. She’s safe. But am I wasting my time?”
Two voices answer, “No.”
I kill the call and pocket my phone. “Tasha. Tasha.” I call her name every few steps, giving her time to hide inside, or not.
“Tash, you didn’t have to run!” I take the first few steps up to the landing.
“I wasn’t running. I was relocating.”
“Strategically?” I keep my tone light. After all, where there’s banter there’s hope. “As in strategically relocating?”
“Something like that.” Her voice is brittle, but I can’t hear tears as I get to the top step.
“Can I suggest next time you find a potted palm tree bigger than a mail box?”
“I’ll have you know this is a very supportive palm tree.”
“It’s thinner than my patience.”
“At tax time or during the football season?”
“Wow. Rude.” When she doesn’t stand, I take a seat on the other side of the palm. We can talk without shouting, but I need Tasha to feel comfortable.”
“Are they talking about me?” she eventually asks.
“I doubt the happy couple or grandparents-to-be have noticed you’re gone.”
“Good.”
There’s a long pause before she sighs, “It has nothing to do with jealousy.”
“Good to know.” See? I can keep it light.
“The baby announcement came as a shock.”
“I can’t believe no one at the bachelorette party picked up on it.”
“All Finley would have to do is say she was giving up alcohol to fit into her wedding gown.”
Snap. When do women give up things they love … like alcohol and soft cheeses?
Snap, snap. If Connor knew and broke up with her anyway, I’ll kill him. If he forced her to get rid of the baby, I’ll kill him twice over. Why didn’t her friends do something? Why hasn’t anyone said anything?
Snap. Snap. Snap.
“Sweetheart, you can tell me anything,” I start softly, swallowing down my rage. I’m not angry with Tasha. But Olivia should have told me. Connor should have done something. But it won’t be real until Tasha says the words, or not. “Or you don’t have to tell me at all.”
“You need to know.”
“Only if it’s material to our future.” Knowing I’m negotiating for our future, I continue, “There is nothing you can tell me that will change the way I feel about you. But … and I need you to hear me … if you are sad, I want to be there to hold you. I want you to use my shirt to dry your tears. I want to hold you until you don’t need my strength.
I want to love you until you feel loved. ”
She’s spacy, as if only hearing the sound of my voice and my words are lost on the sea breeze. Yes, I used the word, without saying the words, “I love you.” I’m not stupid enough to send her needing another strategic relocation.
“I was pregnant.” Her words come out like an exhaled breath.
Even though I’ve had minutes to suspect, they hit me hard. Still, I’m proud of my girl for being able to say the words.
“I found out the week before the wedding, and was going to tell Connor after we signed the wedding certificate.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” I don’t wait for her to move, almost crawling around the potted plant until I can pull her into my arms. She crumbles against my chest. I have no words as her tearless trembling gradually subsides.
“I didn’t tell him. At first, I didn’t want him to think I was guilting him into staying. Then, after … afterward it didn’t matter if he knew or not.”
“I’m sorry that you went through that alone.” If the girl posse knew, they’d have been over to Tasha in a flash at Finley’s announcement. My rage against her friends dies.
“I couldn’t tell anyone. Our friends were torn up, not knowing how to be friends with both of us. My family were torn between supporting me and being happy for my cousin.”
“Your mother doesn’t know?”
“Only my doctor, and Hunter.” She looks up at me.
“When Jess and I followed him and Olivia here after she became the runaway bride, I was … it was an anniversary. He thought Mitch was about to win Liv back, and I was drunk and sad enough to spill my guts. But he’s a good friend and never mentioned it until tonight. ”
We sit with Tasha on my lap as the waves continue to crash onto the beach below, creeping higher with the tide.
“I’m sorry about today. I needed space to … process last night.”
I squeeze her tighter. “Just admit, you wanted to run to see if I’d chase.”
“Twenty-six beaches,” she giggles.
“Next time, can you at least drop pins so I know which ones you’ve already been to?”
“Next time?”
“I’m thinking you’re a woman worth chasing.”
“I’m scared. I’m embarrassed.”
“About?” Because I will pick up a sword and fight all her demons if she’ll let me.
“Scared of being hurt, by you. Scared that you’re used to models and I’m just me. Embarrassed, because people will think I left …”
“Give me the word and Hunter and Olivia will tell everyone you left because you wanted to give the happy couple space to be happy without your family concerned about your feelings.” She pulls back to look at me, as if what the fuck? I shrug, “It’s kind of the truth and it gives us space to talk.”
“Okay.”
“As for being scared, you can ask the guys about the last time they saw me with anyone. I’ve been waiting for you. I didn’t want to be your rebound. I want to be your forever.”
“So, if we aren’t going back to the dinner, and I’m not needed until midday for hair, makeup and photos, what do you think we should do?”
I pull out my phone and text Hunter.
Me: Tasha’s fine. She wanted to give the happy couple space to celebrate. CU tomorrow.
“Yes?” I ask while it’s still in draft. She reads it once, makes a quick edit before pressing send.
Me: Tasha’s not fine. Tasha is happy for them and deliriously happy with me. If we don’t turn up tomorrow, send a layer of wedding cake to her bungalow. Seb
I open my arms and she crumbles into them.
All the tension, all the grief, is cried into my shirt as I silently stroke her hair.
Us coming together was a big deal. The shock announcement tonight, threw her off balance.
But if she allows me to be her strength, we have a fighting chance to celebrate our diamond anniversary in a few decades.
“I’m sorry,” she manages as sobs slow. “For not telling you sooner. For running this morning. For …”
“Tasha.” I need to stop her right there. “You don’t owe me your trauma on a timeline. You tell me when you’re ready.”
“I was going to tell you tonight. When I invited you to walk and talk after the reception. Before they announced …”
“I know.” I believe her. We both had secrets to share. I’ve still got mine, but it’s more a conversation than a decision. “But this was how it happened, and that’s okay.”
“I need you to understand,” she says carefully. “I’m not broken. I’m healing. There’s a difference.”
“I know.”
“And some days are going to be hard.”
“I know.” I cup her face. “And one day we’ll talk about your baby, and you’ll tell me how you want to honor him or her.”
“Her. I’m sure she was a her.”
“And when the time is right, if you want to carry our babies, we’ll talk more about what that means.
We’ll get the best doctors and the best care.
” Her tears have stopped but she’s still shaking.
“But right now, we go inside. You change into something comfortable while I order room service because neither of us ate. And then we’ll talk. Really talk.”
“About?”
“Everything. I have information we need to talk about before decisions need to be made.”
“About?”
“Have you thought about going to New Zealand?”
“For a week or to live?”
I explain about Zane, his business and the opportunity. “I signed the contract last week when I thought we didn’t have a chance. But Zane’s a mate and I’m sure …”
“I don’t want a long-distance relationship.
” Tasha sits up, giving her words space.
No. No. I don’t want to choose between my business and the woman I love, but I will.
If she makes me choose, I’ll choose her.
It will hurt my friendship. It will slow my business growth.
But I’m not losing this chance with Tasha.
“Okay,” I sigh. “I’ll reach out tomorrow and see what he …”
“When do we leave?” She nuzzles back in, kissing the soft skin around my neck. “That is, if you want me to come with you. Plenty of people work remotely. My boss has suggested it before so they can save on office space.”
“You’ll move to New Zealand?”
“I’ll move to be with the man I love. There’s a difference.
” She uncurls from my lap, holds out her hand to help me up, leaving me stunned.
Did I hear her right? She said the word.
I’m sure I didn’t mishear what I want to hear.
Before I can ask her to repeat, Tasha nods inside. “Now, you promised me room service.”