Chapter 6
six
. . .
This was what having a boyfriend was supposed to feel like.
Des was certain of it when he woke up the next morning to find himself wrapped around Javier yet again. It was the second morning in a row he’d awakened to his arms around Javier’s warm, svelte body and with the man’s scent in his nose. Only this time they were naked.
And more than a little bit messy from their activities the night before.
Desmond smiled and kept his eyes closed.
He didn’t mind the crust and the dried sweat.
It felt so wonderful to be with someone who he actually liked and who he truly believed had his best interest at heart.
It made him feel special and like he would have done anything for Javier, anything, and not because he was coerced into it out of fear of abandonment, but because he wanted to.
He could have stayed there in the warm cocoon of his bed with Javier in it for ages.
That was utterly impractical, of course.
He’d already taken up far too much of Javier’s weekend.
As much as they’d had fun pretending, Javier was not, in fact, his boyfriend, and they did not live in isolation together.
Javier probably had laundry of his own to do, groceries to buy, and a business to look after.
It was selfish of Des to keep him all to himself.
Even so, Desmond moved carefully to extract himself from Javier, cautious not to wake the man up.
He crept out of bed at a snail’s pace, loath to disturb the gorgeous picture a sleeping Javier made.
Once he was out of bed, even though the room was chilly and he was naked, Desmond stood where he was for a second, treating himself to the sight of Javier’s form and his head resting against the pillow in the low glow of the alarm clock.
Not even Desmond’s silly sentimentality could withstand a cold bedroom for long, though.
He tip-toed into the en suite, used the toilet as quietly as he could, and then, because there was no way around it, he turned on the shower and jumped in to wash away the parts of the beautiful weekend that he couldn’t keep.
Unsurprisingly, Javier was awake though still in bed, when Desmond came out of the bathroom ten minutes later wrapped in a robe.
“Good morning, carinito,” Javier greeted him in a hazy, morning voice. He stretched, which made the whole thing a feast for Des’s eyes and ears. He should have rubbed one out in the shower so he wasn’t in any danger of getting hard just looking at his pretend boyfriend.
“Morning,” he answered as if he were completely in control of all his faculties.
He wanted to go sit on the side of the bed and lean down to kiss Javier fully awake, but it wasn’t Valentine’s Day anymore and it felt like the magic had passed.
“There should still be hot water if you want to get in and take a shower.” He gestured at the bathroom door with his thumb.
Javier let out a breath and just lay there, smiling at Desmond for a moment.
He didn’t seem offended or impatient, which was what Des was used to with a lover.
He wasn’t in a hurry or anxious in any way.
It was almost like Javier was creating a picture-perfect memory of a happy, sated lover on the morning after for Desmond to carry with him for the rest of his life.
After what felt like a long though comfortable pause, Javier said, “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”
Desmond wasn’t sure if the thanks was for the shower, the sex, or the entire weekend.
If he’d been trying to create something dazzling and special for Javier in thanks for attending the concert with him, he was certain he’d failed miserably.
And yet, things had been so amazingly, gorgeously wonderful.
But all good things had to end. That was just the way of the world.
“I’ll just go down and make tea, shall I?” he asked, falling back on brittle formality to carry him through what should have been an awkward moment.
Should have been, but somehow wasn’t.
“I would love that,” Javier said, smiling.
Desmond nodded, glanced around as though he was missing something, and when he couldn’t think what he was waiting for, he started for the door and dashed out into the hallway.
It took him until he was downstairs to realize he was still naked under his bathrobe.
He also realized when he heard footsteps from above, then the shower turning on, that maybe he’d been waiting for Javier to throw back the covers and display his perfect body.
Desmond hadn’t really gotten a good look last night, despite getting more than a good feel and taste. That was a serious tragedy.
He put the kettle on then ran back upstairs, throwing on sweatpants and a t-shirt while Javier was still in the bathroom.
If he’d been a far bolder man and a better lover, he would have stripped off instead and climbed into the shower with Javier so they could do even more than they’d done the night before.
He hadn’t even had the chance to get his mouth on Javier’s cock or to show off just how good he, a top-level financial executive with a lot of zeroes in his bank account, was at sucking cock.
There would be another time for all that, though.
There would be another time.
Desmond hurried back downstairs and rifled frantically in the fridge for everything he needed to make Javier breakfast. He wasn’t usually such a people-pleaser, but Javier was a different story altogether.
Javier was…was something he could have and cherish as his own. The rest of his life couldn’t taint it.
The toast had just been put in the toaster and the bacon under the grill when Desmond noticed his phone sitting on the kitchen island.
He hadn’t even thought about his phone in almost twenty-four hours, which was a shock, since he was usually glued to the blasted thing.
A sense of responsibility made him check it, and he wasn’t at all surprised to see a text from Matthew.
The text had come in early in the morning the day before and read, “How are you feeling today? Need me to come over and take care of you?”
Desmond frowned at his phone. “You are the one who made me sick,” he typed. “On purpose. And for your information, I have been very well taken care of since—”
He stopped typing, sighed, then deleted everything he’d written.
Almost twenty-four hours had passed since Matthew had sent those words.
God only knew what he’d thought when Desmond hadn’t replied.
To do so now would be pointless, especially considering Matthew hadn’t sent any follow-up texts or called.
But that was the point, wasn’t it? Matthew didn’t really care about him.
He never had. He’d only ever been after money, or maybe some sense of power over Desmond.
Never mind the fact that he knew enough about Desmond now to actually have a bit of power.
But now that Javier had entered the picture, now that Desmond knew there could be so much more to life and love and relationships, it made even the dirt Matthew thought he had seem insignificant.
It was impulsive and there would probably be consequences, but as the scent of bacon and toast began to fill the air, Desmond leaned against the counter and called up the app for one of his bank accounts, the one that had an automatic monthly payment to Matthew set up.
Those payments went to Matthew’s account on the first and fifteenth of the month.
It was the fifteenth, but also a Sunday.
With a few astoundingly quick taps, he stopped all future payments.
He was also able to cancel the pending payment.
Just like that.
Why had he never imagined that cutting his abusive ex out of his life could be so easy or so satisfying? He put his phone on the counter and just stared at it for a second. Why hadn’t he fully ended things with Matthew before?
Of course, he knew the answer to that. Matthew knew things and was unscrupulous enough to use those things against him.
But none of it seemed to loom quite as large after the weekend he’d just spent.
Maybe he needed to see that there was more to the world than the past and that he actually was worthy of someone else’s love and attention before cutting the final cord.
“It smells amazing in here.” Javier entered the kitchen a few minutes later, dressed in his clothes from Friday night which had been washed yesterday, all except the suit jacket, which would need professional cleaning.
Desmond turned to him with a smile, but that smile faded. Javier was dressed to go home.
“I made breakfast,” Des said, trying to sound calm and collected, but fearing he sounded desolate. “I hope you have time.”
“I definitely have time.” Javier came all the way into the room and stood at the counter with Desmond, his eyes soft and warm. “I have a lot of time, as long as it’s time for you.”
Des smiled, but said, “Stop it.”
“Stop what?” Javier asked, a teasing glint in his eyes.
“You’re making me not want to let you go.”
Javier grinned. “Then I guess I’m doing something right.”
Dammit. If Desmond wasn’t careful, he would fall completely and utterly in love.
“Breakfast will be ready any moment,” he said, hurrying back to the oven to stop the bacon from burning, to get the eggs started, and to stop himself from throwing his arms around Javier and begging him never to leave.
Javier slipped right into his tea-making role from the day before. Even though it felt like the magic was ending on the one hand, to Desmond, it also felt like nothing had changed and they’d still been dating for ages.
“So I was thinking,” Javier said once they were seated in the breakfast nook for their repeat of the morning before.
“Oh?” Desmond asked, his brows inching up and his heart racing.
Javier sent him a look as he picked up his mug that would put steam back in his tea. “I had a great time this weekend,” he said before taking a sip.