Chapter Twenty-Two – Mira #2
I closed my eyes, attuning myself to the beat of Cassius’s heart. Steeling myself for what had to happen next.
‘I promised Nari that I would avenge V?lund’s death,’ I told him. ‘Which leaves me with only one option.’
‘Making me disappear,’ Cassius said without inflection.
Of course murder was the first conclusion he came to.
An unstable laugh bubbled from my mouth, and as my concentration faltered, Cassius seized his chance – reversing our positions and pushing me against the stone lip of the spring.
Before I could re-establish my control, he wrapped his hands around my throat.
Not pressing down – not yet. But his grip was tight enough to show that he could, and I wasn’t sure if I would be able to stop him in time.
I could still sense his blood, and the pounding of his heart. I could slow it – or stop it altogether.
But all it would take was the slightest increase of pressure, and he could take me down along with him.
‘Part of me is impressed,’ he said against my ear. ‘When I first met you, I knew you had potential . But I warned you not to play games with me, Mira.’ His voice lowered, turning frighteningly intimate. ‘Do you remember what I told you?’
‘They usually have deadly endings,’ I whispered, my heart pounding so hard that I felt light-headed.
Something was about to happen. I could tell by the passion burning in his voice; a mixture of fury and desire. He was either going to kiss me or try to kill me, only I had no idea which –
He released me.
I stumbled before I steadied myself against the stone, staring over my shoulder at him in disbelief.
Cassius watched me steadily. ‘I think a part of you is relieved he’s dead. Now you don’t have to chain yourself to someone else to rule your own country.’
I turned on him, my entire body shaking with rage. ‘Don’t you dare! I didn’t ask for this – I never would have asked you to–’
‘You didn’t have to,’ Cassius said calmly. ‘Isn’t that why you visited the dungeons in the first place? Because you knew you needed me to help you make decisions you found unpalatable?’
‘You’re delusional,’ I said tightly.
‘Am I?’ he asked. ‘What am I to you, Mira, except your pet monster? Isn’t that why you spared me – because you knew I could be useful to you?’
‘I never thought of you like that. I’m not one of your twisted, power-hungry family members.’
‘I might have believed you, if you hadn’t threatened my life.’ This time, when Cassius’s eyes met mine, I saw the anger blazing within them.
‘I wasn’t going to – I’m not going to kill you,’ I said, my rage spiking even further, infuriated by my use of the past tense. Already, he was twisting things around. Sowing doubt.
‘Then what were you going to do?’ Cassius asked, his tone indulgent.
‘It occurred to me, after our talk in the dungeons, that maybe you hadn’t been born this way. That perhaps you’re a product of a cruel upbringing and a brutal father. And that perhaps . . .’ I paused, taking a deep breath. ‘Perhaps I could forgive you. Or make you worthy of forgiveness.’
‘You were going to use blood magic – to change me.’ Cassius’s expression shuttered completely.
‘It’s what I should have done in the beginning.’
‘When you visited me in the dungeons,’ he said slowly. His eyes narrowed. ‘That bottle of wine . . .’
‘It had some of my blood in it,’ I finished.
‘But you took it with you.’ Inexplicably, Cassius started to smile. ‘You changed your mind.’
‘I did,’ I agreed, taking another step towards him. ‘I won’t this time.’
Cassius’s body suddenly seemed coiled and dangerous – a snake debating whether to strike. But he said evenly, ‘It isn’t true loyalty if it’s coerced.’
‘And what would you know about true loyalty? Everything you do is about coercion – ensuring that other people are in your power. I don’t think a single person in the Ravalian Court served you willingly. You always had something held over them.’
‘I was wrong. I realised it after I betrayed your trust.’ There was something dangerously sincere about the way he was looking at me.
‘Until you, every interaction in my life was transactional. Adoration, loyalty – none of it was real. But you , Mira . . . you were real. You would do anything for the people who truly matter to you, and I wanted to be one of those people. I still do.’
‘Don’t,’ I said, turning away. ‘Don’t pretend to care.’
‘But what if I do?’ he murmured, his hand rising to brush my cheek. ‘What if I do care, Mira?’
Just that single touch and my body went still, as though his fingers were a paralytic. I felt like I was breathing hard and somehow not at all, my focus narrowing to the slow, deliberate strokes of his fingers as they traced the line of my jaw and down my throat, lingering on the base of my neck.
This is how a mouse must feel , I thought dizzily, when it’s caught in the jaws of a snake .
‘What if I proved it to you?’ Cassius continued, his lips at my ear. The hardness of his body pressed against my back, and suddenly his left hand was splayed across my abdomen, keeping me pressed against him.
‘I wouldn’t believe it,’ I said, even as my body betrayed me – leaning into him rather than pulling away.
I felt Cassius’s amused exhale against my skin. ‘I think you’re afraid you will believe it,’ he murmured, ‘because that would mean trusting me. And the thought of trusting me terrifies you. But tell me, Mira: which of us has more reason to distrust the other?’
I glanced down at his right hand, which lingered on the side of my neck – just above my pulse.
All it would take was a slight shift of his hand, and he could cut off my air. He could end my life and never have to worry about me using blood magic on him again.
He left his hand right where it was. Allowing my heartbeat to reverberate through us both.
I turned and those dark blue eyes met mine. I had the sense that he saw more than I wanted him to, but he merely smiled that casual, disarming smile of his, as if things hadn’t changed between us. As if he couldn’t feel the way my heart picked up speed, pounding so hard that I felt slightly dizzy.
‘I know I have a great deal to prove – to you, and to myself. But w hen this war is over, and Kalure is truly yours, I want us to be together, Mira. I want us to at least try .’
That snapped me out of my trance, and I pushed him away. He didn’t try to stop me.
‘What makes you think I’ll even consider that?’
I couldn’t see Cassius’s face as he climbed out of the water, but I could hear the smile in his voice.
‘You already are.’