Chapter Forty-Two – Mira #2
‘Shall we give it a try?’ Aric murmured to me, aware that we both excelled when it came to hitting marks.
I smiled and reached for my bow. The conversation around the fire faded, and I knew I had everyone’s attention now.
Not that I needed to prove myself – I had already done that when I had returned with the Council of Ancients’ approval and the shifters, not to mention all the sparring matches I had won – but it seemed like a harmless way of joining in the fun.
‘There,’ I said, pointing at a tree trunk in the distance and taking aim. I thought I had accounted for the breeze, but my arrow hit the mark slightly off-centre.
Aric’s hit dead centre.
‘Show-off,’ I said with a smile that he returned.
Nari clapped Aric warmly on the back and passed him the wineskin, which he took a quick swig from.
‘My turn to choose the target,’ he said, pointing at a particularly difficult one – a thin branch at an odd angle.
I watched Aric take aim, the firelight illuminating the concentration on his face. When he released the bow in a smooth, seamless motion, his arrow struck the branch – but glanced off and toppled out of sight.
‘You can’t win them all,’ I said as I lined up my shot. My arrow thudded into the branch–
And stayed there.
It was my turn to be clapped on the back. My turn to take a victorious swig from the wineskin.
But when Nari invited us to go another round, I shook my head. ‘I’d rather keep it as a draw.’
Together, Aric and I strode back through the encampment.
It had been a few days since we’d been alone like this, but tonight it felt easy, and I wondered if Aric had found a way to set his jealousy over Cassius aside.
In the lead-up to the battle, I had the sense the two of them had come to something of an understanding.
At least, I had caught snatches of civil conversation between them.
Perhaps war had a way of putting everything into perspective. It had certainly helped Scarlett and I set our differences aside.
‘Will you wait here for me?’ I asked Aric when we reached my tent. ‘There’s something I have to do.’
Maybe Aric knew what I had in mind, because he nodded and said nothing.
It wasn’t difficult to locate Cassius. He was leaning against a tree, his arms folded as he watched the revelry.
I knew he would have been welcome around any of those fires; his strategic mind and public demonstrations of physical skill had won him the respect of the Kalurians, and his charm had done the rest. But tonight, he seemed content to observe from a distance.
He didn’t turn as I approached, though he must have heard me coming. Even cloaked in shadow, he was strikingly handsome. I took a breath, steeling myself against the weakness I had for him. The weakness that had made me delay this conversation for so long.
‘You don’t have to say it,’ Cassius remarked, and finally he looked at me. ‘I know you’ve made your choice.’
‘There was never a choice to make. You have to understand – I never really stopped loving Aric.’
‘Of course you didn’t,’ Cassius said. ‘Aric is your first love and your best friend. He’s comfortable. It makes sense that you would go back to that.’
‘You think I want Aric because he’s the safe choice? Because he’s comfortable ?’
‘Don’t you?’
‘No!’ I took a step closer to Cassius, infuriated by his mild expression. By the knowing glint in his dark blue eyes. ‘Aric is attractive, intelligent, kind-hearted, passionate–’
‘He sounds thrilling,’ Cassius said dryly. ‘Yet here you are, talking to me.’
‘Not for long,’ I said, turning on my heel. Then I paused and glanced back at him. ‘You must know that we never had a chance. What did you think was going to happen when this war was over? That we were going to rule Ravalia together? How would that even have worked ?’
‘Are you asking me, Mira?’ A light, taunting question. ‘I thought you’d already made your choice.’
‘I have,’ I shot back, more sharply than I’d intended.
Cassius’s half-smile was difficult to read. ‘Since you asked . . . I had something special in mind. An offer I don’t think you would have refused.’
The evaluating way he looked at me then, the certainty in his eyes . . . It reminded me of Aric’s warnings. His suspicions regarding Cassius’s motives.
It was better not to know. Whatever offer he would have made, it was clearly intended to draw me in. To ensnare me.
‘What offer?’
‘In the Kalurian tradition,’ Cassius said, watching me closely, ‘women are the monarchs. I was considering renouncing my own claim to the Ravalian throne in favour of becoming your consort and father to our eventual heirs.’
My face heated at the mention of heirs . At the knowledge of exactly what he was proposing.
‘With me by your side,’ he continued, heedless of my reaction, ‘you would have a legitimate claim to the crown. A great deal of bloodshed and civil unrest would be avoided, and both our peoples would be safe.’
How clever it was. He knew I would baulk at marriage after our last proposal, so instead he had come up with something new. A way of proving himself to me.
Except what was he really giving up? As advantageous as this could be for Kalure and Ravalia, for all the people in the empire, once Cassius and I were bound together .
. . he could easily turn against me. He could undermine my rule in so many ways, many of which I was sure hadn’t even occurred to me.
But one certainly had.
‘If we had an heir,’ I said at last, ‘you could kill me and rule as regent until they came of age.’
Something close to hurt flickered across his face. ‘Do you think me that much of a monster?’
No. No, I don’t . The answer was on the tip of my tongue, but I held it back. Because how could I trust my own feelings, my own perceptions, where Cassius was concerned?
‘Everything you’ve just said . . .’ I inhaled a sharp breath. ‘It depends on trust.’ And I’d be a fool to trust you blindly.
‘You trust me. You’re just terrified to admit it.
’ Cassius tilted his head, his blond hair gleaming in the firelight.
‘Aric betrayed your trust too,’ he reminded me, his words smooth and remorseless and brutally true.
‘Even if he hadn’t left you, I saw you together in the Ravalian Court – he was always doubting your decisions, blaming you for everything that you did to survive.
If you want to rule, Mira, y ou need to be with someone who understands that ruling comes with tough decisions.
Someone who respects you enough to respect your choices – and not blame you for them. ’
‘Someone like you . That’s what you really mean.’
‘Maybe I do.’ Cassius’s voice was measured, but I knew the anger was still there.
‘Who better to understand the pressures of ruling than me? We’re the same, you and I.
But Aric – he’s a warrior, through and through, without the stomach for court politics.
He might have suited the girl you once were, but he won’t be enough for the queen you’ve become.
He never will be, and yet you persist with this charade.
Why? Because you don’t want to trust me?
Because you don’t want to admit what’s right in front of you? ’
‘None of that matters,’ I replied, gently and yet cruelly. ‘I love Aric.’
‘You love me, too.’ Cassius’s voice was whisper soft.
‘No,’ I said firmly. ‘I don’t.’
Cassius considered me for a moment. ‘You’ve never been a good liar.’ His eyes hardened. ‘Which of us do you love more, Mira? Or do you not even know yourself?’ He strode off into the darkness, leaving me staring after him.