Chapter Forty-Four – Mira
Chapter Forty-Four
Mira
The moon was large and full overhead, casting our surroundings in a silvery haze. It reminded me of the nights we had spent in our mountain meadow on Aldara, staring up at the stars.
Do you see him? Aric had asked me once, pointing up at a constellation that resembled a lone figure. That’s the Traveller. Wherever you are, Mira, however far you go, he will always guide you home. He will always guide you back to me.
Yet neither of us had expected I would travel this far.
I leant further back against Aric’s chest, gazing up at the night sky – visible through a circular gap in the canopy. But while the stars were beautiful, they were also entirely unfamiliar. Alien . Even as the ruler of Kalure, this country was still a mystery to me.
That thought felt like a betrayal of my parents. A betrayal of everything they had fought and died for.
‘What are you thinking about?’ Aric’s voice was soft, but his arms were warm and firm around me. Secure in a way that felt comforting – like anything could come for me and I would be safe, because I had him.
It had been a long time since I had felt that security. I hadn’t realised how much I had missed it until now.
‘I’m searching for the Traveller,’ I said, and I wondered if Aric could hear the sadness and longing in my words. ‘I can’t see it from here. Do you think we will ever find our way back again?’
‘I think if we want it enough, we can.’
I knew we were no longer talking about constellations. No longer talking about Aldara, even.
Aric tugged me even closer, and I buried my face in his neck.
‘I love you, Mira,’ he murmured against my skin.
He had said those words to me before, but it was no less special hearing him say them again.
‘I don’t expect you to say it back after everything I’ve put you through, but I need you to know that my feelings for you haven’t changed.
I’ve loved you since the first day I saw you on Aldara. ’
‘Since I kicked Nikolas Atwood in the groin, you mean?’ I said, with no small amount of amusement.
He smiled. ‘Since the moment you looked up and I saw your face. I had never seen anyone so fierce – so vibrant. So alive. And then I asked if you needed any help, and you told me that you had it handled.’
‘I’m failing to see the romance in that.’
‘The point is, you were completely different to any girl I had ever met. That was why I offered to train you. Because I knew you had a warrior’s heart, even then.’
Heat flooded my body. Heat – and tenderness.
‘I love you too,’ I whispered, looking up into his warm brown gaze. The brown of freshly tilled soil. ‘Even when I was with Cassius, even when I hated you for breaking my heart . . . I never stopped loving you. I don’t think it’s possible for me not to love you.’ You’re so much a part of me.
But even as I had the thought, another memory surfaced. One of midnight-blue eyes and a cool, knowing voice that had burrowed deep into my soul. Which of us do you love more, Mira? Or do you not even know yourself?
The hope on Aric’s face brought me back to reality. It didn’t matter if Cassius was right and I loved them both. What I had said to Aric was true – I had never stopped loving him.
And I never would.
He was so close that I could hear his breathing. So close that I could smell the leather and woody scent of him. He smelt like home.
Aric kissed me like he had kissed me back at the Temple – as though I was the only thing keeping him alive. I moved so that I was straddling him, his back against the trunk of a tree – but he shifted our positions almost immediately, laying me gently against the forest floor.
Damp leaves and grass brushed against my bare skin as he removed the furs from my shoulders and unzipped my fighting leathers, but the cold could no longer touch me. Not as his hands glided down my body, warming me in a way that made it impossible to think about anything else.
His face was a picture of love and determination and passion as he settled over me, and for a moment we only stared at each other. I couldn’t see the stars; could only glimpse the moon shining down on his dark hair. But that didn’t matter. He was the only constellation I needed.
I helped him tug off his tunic and then he brought his lips crashing down on mine. No longer tentative or unsure – not like that very first time, and I knew we both felt the difference.
We were equals in this, and I loved everything I learnt about Aric as I rediscovered how and where to touch him – just as his hands and mouth explored my body, tender and reverent and filled with wicked delight. Every single touch a revelation – a second chance I had never thought we would receive.
My breathing quickened as he shifted once more, the heat of his body now against my back, his arms wrapped around me in a way that made it feel as though he was embracing me even as I felt him move inside me–
My head fell back against his neck, my eyes fluttering closed as he lavished my neck with kisses that sent fire shooting through my veins. It was sweet and wonderful and Gods, how could I have expected it would be anything else?
‘We’re meant to be together,’ Aric murmured as the pressure and heat built between us, as my chest tightened until I could barely breathe. ‘I – Gods, Mira, I love you. I love you so much .’
I couldn’t speak – not as he picked up his pace, our bodies moving together in an urgent, thought-obliterating rhythm. But as he continued moving, harder and faster, driving into me with the force I craved–
‘Aric, I can’t hold back much longer–’
‘Don’t hold back,’ he breathed against my ear. ‘Not with me. Never with me.’ The raspy edge to his voice told me he was seconds away from succumbing as well.
That realisation was all it took. A blinding wave of pleasure swept through me, made all the sweeter as I clung to Aric, my friend and first love. My forever love.
And as we tumbled over the edge, all I could think was that we had found a way to forgive each other. That we might actually have a chance to find our way back to the people we used to be.
Dawn arrived too soon.
I nestled closer to Aric, watching the first hint of daylight brighten the canvas walls of my tent.
I could hear the sounds of my army preparing to march through the Archasian mountains: the low hum of voices, the thud of booted footsteps, weapons and armour being prepared.
Their war preparations drowned out the sighing of the wind in the trees, the distant growls of forest cats and the chirping of birds.
Aric’s arms tightened around me, anchoring me in the present moment. If there was fear, it couldn’t reach me. Not with him here.
I tilted my head, tasting his lips. They were soft against mine, and laced with the tartness of the wine we had shared.
I could taste them forever.
But while I wasn’t afraid of the coming battle, or the possibility of my own death . . . I was afraid for him. For us .
‘Promise me,’ I said with a sudden urgency. ‘Promise me that this wasn’t the last time. I just got you back. I can’t lose you again.’
‘You won’t,’ Aric murmured, even though we both knew it wasn’t a promise he could make.
Perhaps that was the reason I said what I did. The knowledge that all we might have was this moment, and I couldn’t bear to waste it.
‘Rule Kalure with me.’
Aric went still.
‘It’s incredibly selfish of me, I know,’ I said quickly, even as a part of me deflated at his hesitation. ‘You’re fierce and independent, and you shouldn’t be tied to overseeing a country and all the tedious politics that go with it–’
‘I would do anything for you, Mira.’ He shifted so that he was looking straight at me, his expression so earnest that it was impossible to doubt his devotion. His willingness to sacrifice his own hopes and dreams for mine. ‘You know that.’
I did know that – of course I did. Yet for some reason, I found myself thinking of Cassius’s warning. Aric – he’s a warrior, through and through, without the stomach for court politics. He might have suited the girl you once were, but he won’t be enough for the queen you’ve become .
‘You shouldn’t have to change your life just for me.
’ It was difficult to say – because if he didn’t accept this offer, what would our future look like?
Would we even have one? ‘This is a decision you need to make for yourself. I don’t want you to hate me years down the track.
I don’t want to . . . I don’t want to turn you into someone you’re not. ’
Aric considered me seriously. ‘Even when I tried my hardest, I could never hate you. I don’t think there’s anything you could do to make me hate you.
As for ruling – how could I turn down an opportunity to be by your side?
’ But he pulled back from me. ‘Still, you’re right – it is something I need to consider seriously.
And I’m not sure this is the right time. ’
‘Then when is?’
‘Not before a battle,’ he replied. ‘Once it’s over. Once you’re not so afraid of losing me. I don’t want us to commit to a future out of fear, Mira. And not when you’ve just told Cassius goodbye hours earlier.’
I felt my face flush, though I couldn’t argue with his reasons. ‘You’re annoyingly honourable sometimes. You know that, don’t you?’
Aric smiled against my lips. In the distance, a horn blared – the signal that we were preparing to move out.
We reluctantly climbed out from underneath the furs and splashed water on our faces from the washing bowls.
Once we were dressed, Aric stepped briefly outside, returning with a group of aides who rushed in with food and water.
Even as we hurriedly ate, we stayed close to each other, some part of us always touching.
I had never thought that putting on battle armour would be sensual. But with Aric helping me, sensual was exactly the right word. His hands ghosted over my body, tightening straps and slipping weapons into their sheaths.
I withdrew my dagger, eyeing my hair consideringly. I had kept it long because it looked more regal, but long hair was only a hindrance in battle. I lined up a section with my blade–
And sliced it off.
‘Nice,’ Aric said, eyeing my now shoulder-length hair.
‘It was time for a fresh start,’ I said, and I meant it in more ways than one.
I admired Aric as we left the tent, his silver armour bright even in the faint rays of dawn. I was dressed similarly; I hadn’t bothered with a crown or any other reminders of my station as queen. Today, I was one with my army.
Conall was already waiting, transformed into his animal form. Scarlett was beside him on Ferox, her hair braided into a crown on top of her head. I smiled faintly at the sight.
My smile quickly died as I searched for Lillian, only to remember that she was at the back of the army along with Odessa and the priestesses. And Aurelius, who was here as leverage.
Leverage I would be a fool not to use, though the thought of threatening a child still bothered me.
‘Lil will be fine,’ Aric whispered, and I nodded back at him, grateful that he understood me so well.
Then he turned in the direction of his saddled stallion, which was waiting obediently next to Cassius and Jadis’s mounts.
My heart lurched. ‘Stay close,’ I told Aric as I climbed onto Conall’s back.
‘Always,’ he promised.