Chapter Fifty-Five – Scarlett
Chapter Fifty-Five
Scarlett
My right arm ached, and blood dripped from the sword in my hand.
Had I fought against someone? I must have, but then, why couldn’t I remember?
A young man stared up at me from his knees, his courtly clothes covered in blood. Even though I didn’t know who he was, part of me recognised that he meant something to me. And so did the young woman kneeling at his side, her face contorted with impotent despair.
Why were they looking at me like that? With a mixture of resignation and . . . pity ? They pitied me, yet I was the one holding the sword. None of this made any sense.
Except the black-garbed woman watching from the dais. She made sense. Zandri. My mother, my empress, whose orders I obeyed without hesitation or question–
Except I was hesitating.
I was hesitating, because the young man was talking – describing moments from our shared childhood, moments that left fleeting images in my mind. I didn’t remember the girl he spoke about, but the truth of his words reached me all the same. The sincerity of them.
I don’t want to kill him.
That realisation sank into me, and I tried to lower my sword. My hands didn’t move an inch.
Wrong. This was all wrong –
‘Kill him.’ Zandri’s voice echoed through the courtyard, cool and controlled. ‘Do it now.’
It was an order. I knew that because my body moved without my consent, my arms tensing to swing–
Midnight-blue eyes met mine, bright with emotion. With understanding. ‘It’s alright, Scarlett,’ Cassius murmured. ‘I love you. I forgive you.’
I saw a glimpse then – a glimpse of the boy he had been. The boy I had sworn to always protect.
‘Cassius.’ Memories unfolded like flashes; spots of colour and happiness in an otherwise dark childhood. Tears dripped down my face as I remembered. ‘Cassius, I don’t want to do this . . .’
‘Then don’t.’ Calm and resolute, as though it was that simple. ‘You have the strongest will of anyone I know. If anyone can stand against Zandri, you can.’
My arms trembled with the effort of holding the sword in mid-air. I had my orders, and those orders said to let the sword cut through his neck, but–
Since when did I take orders?
My scream of pain and fury reverberated through the courtyard. With all my strength, I hurled the sword aside.
And then I turned to face my mother.
Zandri held up the blood ruby so that it gleamed in the morning light. Brilliant and bloody and familiar.
Mine .
But I was no longer the sum of that blood ruby. I was no longer the person I had been, and that blood ruby only had power over me if I let it.
The compulsion to strike down Cassius and Mira returned – along with the temptation to give in, to surrender to the oblivion Zandri offered. But what she offered wasn’t real.
It was an illusion – a trap. And I refused to be controlled or manipulated. Never again .
As I advanced on Zandri, I saw something like shock enter her eyes. Shock – and a trace of apprehension.
But she strode to meet me, until she was almost close enough to touch. Almost, but not quite.
I held out my hand, my palm outstretched. ‘That belongs to me.’
It was impossible to tell what Zandri was thinking.
Her eyes were dark and unfathomable, any trace of emotion wiped from her expression.
But I knew my mother, and I knew what she respected most was strength.
By resisting the effects of the blood ruby, I had proven myself worthy of claiming it as my own.
She dropped it into my palm, careful not to let our skin brush.
I stared down at the blood ruby in my hand, and as I did, I felt the Sorceress surface inside me, lending me her strength and power.
I crushed the blood ruby to dust.
The wind picked up around me, and some of the red dust went with it, whirling through the air. Zandri watched intently, and when she looked at me, the hunger in her gaze was finally laid bare.
‘I underestimated you,’ Zandri murmured. Despite the softness of her voice, I wasn’t fooled. This was the calm before the storm. I knew it – and so did our silent, unmoving audience.
‘Yes,’ I said, because I couldn’t afford for her to know about Selussa. ‘You underestimated me – and I’ve proven that you can no longer control me. So what happens now?’
‘You already know the answer.’
My heart cracked at her words, but I nodded. I had always known that my mother’s love for me was conditional. Now I knew the limit of that love.
I didn’t rage at Zandri, didn’t scream, didn’t try to run. It was always going to come to this.
My skin prickled, sensing her mounting power. But I raised my chin and said, ‘I have one condition.’
‘And what might that be?’
‘We settle this between us. No outside involvement – not Cassius or Mira or the Kalurian warriors.’
‘I suppose that’s acceptable,’ Zandri replied, too readily and too conciliatory.
I should have known then. But nothing could have prepared me for the force that detonated out from her, blasting me across the courtyard and hurling me into the far wall.
Pain erupted in my back and shoulders. Then I fell forward, slamming brutally into the ground. I was certain I would have broken something if it wasn’t for Selussa and her regenerative powers.
Embrace me fully , her voice whispered. Let me help you .
But I resisted. It was one thing, sharing my body with the Sorceress. It was another giving over control.
Right now, she was little more than an inconvenient passenger. For her to become an active participant, I had to willingly surrender to her – and the thought of doing that terrified me.
Yet if I didn’t–
I dodged the next blast of power, aware that my mother was merely unleashing her anger on me. When she decided to strike in a more targeted way, that was when I would really be in trouble. Even I didn’t know the full extent of her abilities, and if Velanthe had been terrifying . . .
Focus on what you can control , I reminded myself. Not what you can’t .
Darkness pooled in my hands, my death magic desperate to reach Zandri. But she wouldn’t allow me to get close. Was there a way to use my magic without touch? Like I had with the clansmen I had brought back to life?
‘You might be powerful, Scarlett, but you’re no match for me. Do yourself a favour – surrender before I lose what’s left of my patience.’ Zandri’s dark eyes raked over me, lingering on the crown I still wore. ‘I’ll forgive you for challenging me. I’ll even allow you to live.’
‘You won’t,’ I said, in a voice that sounded dead even to me. If I lost, I could be sure of one thing: she would kill me. My own mother would kill me. ‘You have no use for a daughter you can’t control.’
Zandri’s silent agreement broke what was left of my heart.
Whatever part of me that is still capable of love will always love you.
The treasured memory of those words rang in my mind. I still believed that she had meant them – but this wasn’t love. Severin had shown me what love really was, and it wasn’t about power and control. It was about caring more about someone else than you cared about yourself.
I wasn’t sure that Zandri had ever known what love was.
It was almost instinctual, the letting go. Like releasing a pent-up breath, or a weight I had been carrying so long I had almost forgotten it was there.
‘ Selussa ,’ I breathed–
In welcome.
And in surrender.
It happened in the space of a blink, but when my eyes reopened, the world around me was brighter, sharper. Changed.
And so was I.
My fingers rose to explore my face. The shape felt the same, but my skin was no longer cool to the touch, and I had the unsettling sensation of being somewhere in between myself and Selussa, no longer entirely one or the other.
‘How?’ Zandri asked as I shattered her control over the onlookers.
Cassius and Mira moved to stand at my side, but no one else did more than straighten or shift their feet. The crowd was no longer under Zandri’s influence, but fear still held them immobile.
‘We had an agreement,’ Zandri said when I didn’t answer her question. Her black eyes flicked warily between me and Mira. ‘No outside interference.’
‘Our agreement still stands.’ I took a step towards my mother, shaking my head when Mira started to follow.
‘Zandri’s too powerful,’ she protested. ‘You shouldn’t have to face her alone.’
‘I’m not alone,’ I replied, smiling faintly at the look of confusion on Mira’s face and the concern on Cassius’s. They clearly thought I was making a mistake, but they stayed back, respecting my decision.
I walked slowly towards my mother, waiting for her to make the next move. To determine the method of battle.
I was unsurprised when she reached for her daggers.
Mira would have been suited to this method of attack, but Zandri had always bested me when we had trained together, her enhanced strength and reflexes outmatching mine.
She whirled on me, her daggers slicing through the air, but Selussa seemed to slow time itself, until Zandri was moving at a sluggish pace.
It was easy – effortless – to sidestep her first throw.
The second I didn’t even bother to avoid.
The dagger had barely left her hand before I snatched it from the air and walked past her.
When time resumed once more, I was standing behind my mother with the dagger pressed to her throat.
‘It seems fitting to do it this way,’ I said, and somehow my voice was steady. ‘For Aric.’
‘I killed Aric with magic,’ Zandri bit out, ‘not a mundane weapon. If you’re going to end me, Scarlett, at least have the decency to use your death magic.’
It was so like my mother to criticise me in her last moments that I almost laughed. ‘Fine,’ I said, resting my finger on her pulse.
The moment I released the dagger, pain sliced across my neck in a burning line.
Mira shouted my name, and I knew what she was seeing: the same magical wound that had cost Aric his life.
Zandri’s timing was perfect, ensuring that her murderer would die along with her.
But now that I was one with the Sorceress, I was as endless and eternal as Selussa herself.
I felt the pain disappear, and I knew that the wound had disappeared along with it.
Zandri’s lips parted in wordless shock. No, not shock – awe. And something else. Something like envy.
‘The Sorceress,’ she breathed, reaching up to touch my unblemished neck. ‘You invited her spirit into your body . . .’
‘I did it to stop you.’
I held Zandri close as her body weakened, refusing to let her fall. I lowered her to the ground and cradled her in my arms, feeling her skin cool beneath my touch as the death magic took over.
It wouldn’t be long now.
My awareness of Selussa receded, and I knew she was giving me this moment with my mother. Mira and Cassius were staying back too, the tenuous calm over the courtyard holding. It felt like Zandri and I were in a protective cocoon of our own, where no one and nothing else mattered.
‘How does it feel?’ I whispered, shifting so that I could look into her face. ‘Is it painful?’
A note of anxiety entered my voice. It seemed strange that I should care so much, since I was her killer.
But I did care. And it no longer seemed like a weakness.
‘I stopped feeling pain long ago,’ Zandri said, her eyes fluttering open. ‘Velanthe taught me how to strip away human frailties like pain and sickness. Since then, I haven’t felt much of anything.’
Sadness gripped me. She had discarded so much in the pursuit of power – never giving any thought to the cost.
‘Was it worth it?’ I had asked Zandri this once before, and I could still remember the way she had looked at me – as though I was a fool for even asking the question. But I wondered if her answer might have changed now. At the end.
‘I have to believe it was,’ Zandri said, her voice even fainter than it was before.
My throat tightened as I felt my death magic reach her heart. When her eyes reopened, some of that cloying blackness had faded away. In its place, there was a glimpse – just a glimpse – of the woman she could have been. The mother who could have loved me like a daughter deserved to be loved.
With her whole heart.
Zandri’s hand tightened around mine. ‘Forgive me, Scarlett,’ she rasped. ‘Please.’
I thought of everything she had done – to me, to Severin, to Aric.
She had caused so much pain, but in that moment, I felt some of my splintered heart begin to heal.
Just the fact that she was able to ask for my forgiveness – that she cared what I thought about her – made all the difference in the world.
‘There’s nothing to forgive,’ I whispered. ‘You’re my mother, and I love you.’
Zandri’s hand went cold and limp in mine. I held onto it tightly, unwilling to let go.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had truly cried. Even when I had wanted to, the tears hadn’t come. But they came now. Relentless and painful and somehow cleansing.
As I cried over my mother’s body, I wished that she hadn’t had to die. But I also knew that she couldn’t have lived.
I had needed to kill my past in order to embrace my future.
And now . . .
Now I was finally free.