Chapter Fifty-Seven – Mira
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Mira
I spent the night at Aric’s house with Eliana and Lillian. Cassius had walked me to the door and left without a word, respecting my need for space.
But something had woken me in the early hours of the morning. A suspicion that had me hurriedly throwing on clothes and lacing my boots. A suspicion that was proven correct when I discovered that Cassius and Scarlett were no longer at Lord Atwood’s manor house – and neither were their belongings.
I caught up with Cassius just as he reached the docks, his blond hair a beacon of light in the darkness.
‘You’re leaving without saying goodbye?’
I watched his black-garbed shoulders stiffen. ‘I thought it would be easier that way.’
‘Easier for who?’ I challenged. ‘For me – or for you ?’
‘I never pretended to be above self-interest,’ Cassius retorted. ‘I’m not him .’
And there it was. The real reason Cassius couldn’t stand to look at me. The real reason he was leaving.
The words left my lips before I considered the sense of them. ‘You could stay.’
‘And do what, exactly? Spend my life as your spymaster?’
‘Not my spymaster.’ I shook my head, my dark hair rippling in the breeze. ‘My lover.’
Cassius turned to face me. ‘Is that really what you want, Mira? Or is that your grief talking?’
I said nothing. I honestly didn’t know.
He smiled mirthlessly and shook his head.
‘You chose him in the end.’ The pain in his voice said more than words ever could.
‘I respected your choice. I still do. If it was a matter of giving you time, of letting you heal from your loss . . . I could do that. But it isn’t just Aric holding you back.
’ His midnight-blue eyes bored into mine.
‘Can you truly forgive me for the past? For all the mistakes I made back in the Ravalian Court?’
Truthfully, I had forgiven Cassius a long time ago – and that realisation had terrified me.
He had terrified me.
Perhaps Cassius saw a glimmer of that fear in my face, because his softened.
He ran a finger across my cheek. ‘If you tell me there’s a chance for us, I will spend the rest of my life earning back your trust. But I want all of you – your whole heart.
’ He paused, and I had the sense he was steeling himself as he asked, ‘Can you give me that, Mira? Will you at least try ?’
Staring up into his eyes, I wished I could say the words.
I wasn’t afraid of my feelings for him anymore, and I wanted to give this – to give us – a chance.
But with Aric gone, it felt like a betrayal to commit to Cassius.
Aric deserved more than that – and Cassius deserved someone who would put him first.
In the silence we both heard it. My answer.
Cassius kissed my forehead – nothing more than a brush of his lips. ‘Goodbye, Mira,’ he said, turning resolutely away from me. I watched him board the waiting Ravalian vessel with a heavy heart.
And so did Scarlett. When she glanced back at me, there was a trace of recrimination on her face.
‘My invitation to Cassius was just as much for you,’ I said, walking over to her. ‘You don’t have to leave.’
‘I’ve stayed too long as it is, Mira. I have to return to Ravalia, but you’re always welcome to visit. And so is . . .’ In her hesitation I heard Lillian’s name.
‘She’ll miss you,’ I said, and I knew it was true. ‘Don’t you want to say something to her?’
‘What is there to say?’ Scarlett’s voice was carefully even. ‘Now that Selussa has dissolved the bond between us, Lillian’s life is no longer tied to mine. Given the choice between accompanying me to Ravalia and returning to Kalure with you . . . I know which option she’d prefer.’
I felt for Scarlett. Beneath her confident facade, there was something so alone about her – and I worried that her sense of isolation would only grow when she returned to the Ravalian Court, surrounded by subjects who obeyed her commands but didn’t truly care about her. Not like Lillian cared about her.
Not like I cared about her.
‘I should go,’ Scarlett said, and I could sense her withdrawing even now, trying to distance herself from her emotions.
But she didn’t move. And neither did I.
We stood in silence for a long time, staring out over the natural harbour. The water was beautiful and clear, lapping against the wooden dock, which occasionally shifted position beneath my feet.
It was peaceful. Not even the fishermen were up yet, though they would be soon, casting their woven nets.
‘Will you be happy, do you think?’ Scarlett asked softly. ‘Ruling Kalure?’
I considered the question. And I knew she saw the painful, disloyal truth reflected on my face.
It was ironic; I had fought so hard to reclaim my throne, to follow in my father’s footsteps, but I would always be an outsider in Kalure. It had never felt like my home – not in the same way as Ravalia.
‘I don’t think I’m meant to rule Kalure,’ I said at last. It had been a difficult decision to come to, but I knew it was the right one.
‘The Kalurians have always wanted independence from the Ravalian Empire, and they will always associate me with Ravalia. Now that Roran is no longer a threat, I’m thinking of letting them choose their next ruler, if they decide they want one at all.
They may prefer some kind of elected council – one that represents the whole of Kalure, including the Wilds.
I’ll go back to oversee the transition, and I’ll need to make amends with the clans and the shifters, but after that . . .’
Scarlett raised an eyebrow. ‘I hope you don’t expect me to follow your example in Ravalia.’
‘Of course not,’ I said, smiling. ‘I know you’ll make a wonderful empress, and an empress needs an empire. But you’re the one who gave me the idea. When you relinquished control of the Western Lands.’
‘I suppose I did, didn’t I?’ Scarlett smiled dryly. ‘Some rulers we are, releasing countries left and right.’ Then the smile slid from her face. ‘What will you do? When the Kalurians have a new leader or council, and you’re no longer needed?’
‘I thought about becoming an emissary – negotiating alliances with other countries on Kalure’s behalf.’
‘Like the position I offered Cassius in Ravalia.’
‘Exactly,’ I replied. ‘I never thought I would like politics, but it’s grown on me. And I like the idea of visiting other countries.’
‘It also gives you an excuse to visit Ravalia more often,’ Scarlett with a knowing smirk. ‘And my brother.’
‘This has nothing to do with Cassius. It’s over between us.’
‘Is it?’ Scarlett studied me for a while. ‘You should give him a chance,’ she said gently. ‘Cassius isn’t the same person you first met in Ravalia. And . . .’ She hesitated. ‘I hope you know that I’m not the same person I was, either.’
It was the closest she had ever come to an apology, but the time for apologies and recriminations was over. Scarlett had more than proven herself to me.
‘None of us are the same people we were. You showed that when you stood against your mother – and when you convinced me to allow Odessa to remain part of the Temple.’
‘Under Jadis’s supervision,’ Scarlett reminded me.
I nodded, thinking back to my last interaction with Odessa.
I hadn’t told anyone how I had offered her my knife, giving her the opportunity to avenge her parents.
For a moment, I had thought that she was going to kill me – and I had been prepared to let her, if that was what it took to atone for my mistakes.
But she had let the knife fall and walked past me without a backward glance.
Her decision gave me hope that perhaps we could all move on from our bloody pasts.
‘For what it’s worth,’ I said to Scarlett, ‘I’ve made plenty of decisions that I regret. But you’re right; we can’t blame ourselves. We have to look forward – to focus on who we want to become.’
Scarlett smiled faintly, and I wondered if she thought me naive. But she said, ‘I like the thought.’
She turned towards her waiting ship – but then she changed her mind and embraced me instead. I didn’t flinch away from her touch, and I knew she noticed the difference. That she felt the same thing I did in how close we held each other: the trust and friendship we had established.
‘Thank you,’ Scarlett said when she pulled back from me. Her eyes weren’t as cold as they had once been – still glacially beautiful, but the emotion within warmed them and set them sparkling. ‘. . . Cousin.’
It was the first time she had addressed me that way. The first time she had acknowledged me as her family, and it meant more to me than I could express.
A Ravalian Warrior extended his arm to help Scarlett onto the ship. She ignored him and brushed past without assistance, the crew bowing deeply at the sight of their future empress.
The sails were already unfurled, and in a matter of moments the ship was drifting away from the docks. I looked on as it sailed out of the harbour, but I wasn’t looking at the ship or its crew.
I was looking at them.
For the first time, they seemed like true siblings. Cassius cut a striking figure in courtly clothes of black and red, and Scarlett’s gold dress billowed in the breeze, her hair blazing out behind her like a crimson banner.
She looked every inch the Ravalian royal. And so did he.
I didn’t expect them to look back, and they didn’t. That wasn’t who they were.
But I no longer felt the same urgency to keep them with me.
It didn’t matter that a sea separated us: family was family, and they were never really gone.
I might have lost my parents, but I had gained a family of my own with Scarlett and Lillian and even Cassius.
A family I had chosen – and who had chosen me in return.
And as dawn brightened the horizon, I knew it was heralding in a better world.