38
It’s also been a while since I’ve been able to sleep on a flight. I think I’ve been so exhausted over the past couple of weeks it didn’t take much to knock me out. It also could have been the mix of the gin & tonic and the melatonin I had at the airport preflight.
The Uber pulls up to the condo, which for some reason is fully lit up inside. It’s then that I see Mom sitting on the front steps. Of course she would be here to greet me.
“Oh Danny,” Mom pops off the steps, enveloping me in a hug as I set my bag down. We stand there for what seems like a century, neither of us saying anything.
I finally break away from her, noticing tears filling her eyes. “Why are you crying? You might get me started.”
Mom swipes her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, with a laugh. “Sorry kiddo. I just know you’ve been through a lot lately. And it’s just so good to see you. Let’s get inside before the snow picks up.”
I had waited a few days after the Hughie incident before calling Mom, to update her that something happened with Niall. I didn’t go into detail about it, but she knew something was off when she heard my voice. I just didn’t feel like getting into it at that moment.
What I don’t expect, when the front door opens, is the sheer amount of Christmas that has exploded in the condo.
A seven-foot-tall Christmas tree sits next to the fireplace, a full Christmas village on display on the mantle with already filled stockings hanging.
Garland snakes up the banister to the second floor.
There’s even a bowl of Mom’s winter sangria sitting on the coffee table, complete with those moose mugs from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.
I take in the rest of the decor and it finally sinks in. Mom moved her full Christmas into the condo, and I feel a smile pull across my face.
I also notice a note sitting on the bookcase:
Kept the place in top shape for you. Will be back after the New Year. Cheers - Aidan
“I hope you don’t mind. I just felt like you might need all this.” Mom moves to the coffee table, ladling two scoops of sangria into each mug. She passes me one, as we stand by the tree. “I especially thought, if anything, you’d need a bit of day drinking. Now, sit down and tell me what happened.”
While I had been intentionally vague on the phone with her, I now just word vomit everything that happened.
How I lost Hughie in Dublin. How two of my students were the ones to find him.
How Niall couldn’t, or wouldn’t, accept my apology.
That he told me he needed space and it was best we didn’t see each other.
How he essentially said Hughie had experienced enough bad parenting from his mother that he didn’t deserve to experience that under Niall’s watch.
“He really said that?” Mom takes a hefty sip from her mug, before placing it down on the coffee table.
“Not exactly, but it was what he was implying. It hurt, you know, when he said it to me. It still does. But I also kinda get it. Hughie’s been through so much and he’s just ten years old. And Niall entrusted him with me for months, and this one time I failed him.”
I take a sip of my sangria. Well, more like downing half the glass.
Which is met with an immediate top off. “This one time I lost track of him. And maybe I can blame it on my lack of experience with kids. I don’t have my own, I don’t have any nieces or nephews and none of my close friends ever had kids.
I just wish I had been given a second chance to show Niall I could be trusted. That people are allowed mistakes.”
“He might, you know. He’s taking on a lot, and probably has been for years, with his sister. I don’t think he expected to be thrust into the role of being a father. Daniel…it’s not like he was trying for it.”
A beeping sound comes from the kitchen, causing Mom to leave the room before I can respond. I hear the clatter of a pan hitting the stovetop.
Moments later, a plate of brownies hit the table in front of us. Brownies with a layer of York peppermint patties, garnished with Andes mint pieces and crushed candy canes. My favorite of Mom’s Christmas desserts, that she prepared for my arrival.
Sometimes you don’t realize how great you have it with your parents until you recognize it in the small moments, the little things. Like a chocolate mint brownie.
“Might want to wait for those to cool down. And, now that I think of it, might not pair well with sangria.”
“I’m willing to take that risk,” I say, breaking off the corner of one. Realizing that they are indeed hot, I bounce the piece back and forth between my hands before popping it into my mouth. Tastes like Christmas.
“I actually have chatted with Niall quite a bit. I wanted to get to know the man that my son was spending all his time with while in Dublin. I’d often check-in with him if I hadn’t heard from you for a bit, just to make sure you were doing okay.
Call it a mother’s guilt. But he also let me know when you were coming home. ”
It dawns on me now that Mom knew I was going to be home for Christmas, but never told her what time or even what day. And she somehow was waiting on my front stoop when I got home.
Mom puts her hand on mine. “He didn’t go into any details of what went on between the two of you. Just sent me a text letting me know your flight details and I was able to piece together the rest.”
“Just to be clear, I’m not bothered by you and him becoming close. I actually like it, given how much I know you weren’t the biggest fan of Alex—”
“Twatwaffle,” Mom says, getting up from the couch.
“Yes, he’s indeed a twatwaffle. Just not thrilled about the possibility of meeting another Alex, now that I’ll be back in the dating pool.” Honestly, the thought of it is exhausting.
“I wouldn’t give up on Niall just yet. He might need time.”
“And, what then? He’s over in Dublin and my life is here.
I’ve got the one-year program at Trinity and then I’ll be back at CCSU.
He owns a book pub and now’s parenting a ten-year-old.
It’s not like he’s going to uproot his and Hughie’s entire life and move here.
Honestly, who would want to? Dublin is amazing. ”
Really though, what was I thinking getting involved with Niall?
I was supposed to have a quick fling or two while in Dublin, putting Alex in the rear view, and then look for something more meaningful when I returned back to life here in Wethersfield.
Why did I have to fuck that up so royally by falling head over heels in love with the one friend I had in Ireland?
Shit. That’s what it is, isn’t it? And that’s what the real problem is. I love Niall, never had the opportunity to say it and that it’s likely too late to now.
“Just give it time, and you’ll figure it out.
” Mom gets up, grabbing her moose mug. “If it’s meant to be you’ll figure things out.
Now, while I did have some heads up about your arrival, I’m in no way ready to host Christmas Eve dinner here tomorrow.
So, I need to head out to the store before the real crazies realize they’re out of shopping time. ”
“And who are you inviting to said Christmas Eve dinner at my condo?”
She smiles, grabbing her purse from the side table.
“I stopped in to see Sydney earlier this week and she told me her plans included a ham grinder from D&D and some cheese and crackers. So obviously she’s now coming here.
And, if it’s alright, I also invited Charlie.
He was going to be alone and it’s our first Christmas together. ”
“I think that sounds nice.” And it does. I think having Sydney and Charlie here will be a nice distraction.
“But I’m off. I need to hit up Aldi and D&D, and possibly swing by Walmart. Think about what you want to order for dinner, and also what movies we’ll be watching for our Christmas movie marathon.”
And, with that, Mom is out the door and I am left alone in the condo.