Chapter Twenty-Four
It's been a week since Axe put my body through my first ever truly content moment.
We've been kissing a lot this week but nothing more has happened.
I know he wants to do more desperately but other than our grinding session, I don't think I'm ready for him to actually pull his manhood out.
We don't sleep in the same bed. I haven't wanted to push that boundary yet.
The last time he slept beside someone, it was his mate.
I still want to be careful around things like that, that he shared with his mate, such as sleeping in his bed, letting our wolves bond, even sex really.
What if we have sex and he reacts badly because he thinks of his mate? I'm glad to be taking this slow.
Now that I've been here for a while, I've noticed the things Axe does and what time he does them.
He goes for runs at about two in the morning, which explains what he was doing in the forest when he found me.
He goes on errand runs around ten in the morning, probably because he figures everyone is either at school or work so he won't run into anybody.
Dash comes over every few days and they go in Axe's office.
I don't listen in on the conversations because it'd be about pack stuff, which is none of my business.
On the weekend, Axe and I spend all day watching movies and learning to cook so that's nice.
We are falling into a comfortable relationship, which is all I've ever wanted.
Another good thing is my bruises are yellowish so they're almost healed.
Whatever is in that bruise cream, it's like magic.
I never thought I'd see my stomach white again, but it's getting there.
As happy as I am that my body is becoming more attractive since I'm healing, I'm nervous because Axe and I agreed we would wait to do sexual things until I was healed.
Now I'm healing, we can explore our sexual relationship further.
I'm nervous, yet another part of me is excited to do anything with him.
As for my feelings for Axe, they're positive but I haven't really gotten a grasp of what exactly they are.
Yes, I like him. Yes, I'm attracted to him.
I respect him. I cherish him. He's becoming more important to me each day that passes.
But a part of me is scared to fall deeper with him.
There's a nagging thought in the back of my mind about his mate.
I know she's gone. But Axe could change his mind anytime about me.
I don't want to try and fill her shoes. I'm worried if I do something wrong, it will trigger Axe's memory of her.
Maybe I'm just overthinking and should relish this joy and prosperity while I've got it. Even if Axe and I don't last, I know by meeting him that happiness does exist.
***
The moment I sit down at the lunch table, Amelia dives into her sugar daddy talk.
“So I blew him,” Amelia says quietly.
“Oh, how was it?” I ask, interested in her gossip.
“It was like... weird. I imagined the skin would be a lot harder; maybe that's his age.” She chuckles.
“I don't know what to say to that,” I say, amused.
Amelia goes into detail about what he looked like and everything.
I kind of want to talk about Axe, considering this is the first time we've talked about sex.
Since we are both exploring with men, it would be nice to talk about it.
But I can't mention Axe without her questioning who he is and where I met him.
So I stay quiet and listen to her babble on, me adding a comment every few minutes or so.
The bell rings making me realise how fast time goes when Amelia is talking.
She groans and walks off in the direction of her next class.
I dawdle to my class like I always do, pulling out my phone and using an app. It's nice walking the school grounds when it's empty because everyone's in class.
“Elora.” I shriek as I feel my body get yanked behind the corner of the wall. Joel stares at me and keeps his hands on my waist.
“What do you want?” I question. I look down at his hands and give him an angry look. He lets go of me and steps back.
He sighs. “I want to talk to you.”
“You already said everything you need to,” I remark.
“I've been thinking...” He goes quiet.
“What?”
“I'm not sure how to say this.” Joel stares anywhere but me.
“Just say it,” I growl.
“I want to mate you,” he states, looking directly into my eyes now. My breathing seems to stop by his words.
“I don't know what you're playing at but haven't you hurt me enough?”
I'm trying to appear strong but his words are breaking me and affecting my wolf.
“I'm not playing anything. I want my mate. Is that so hard to believe?” Joel looks annoyed.
“You rejected me,” I remind him.
“I changed my mind.”
“Jenna left you, didn't she?” I ask. That's the only reason he's coming to me now. He's alone.
He grunts. “So what?”
“I'm going to class.”
I shake my head, feeling overwhelmed by him admitting he wants me.
Even if it only happened because his girlfriend broke up with him, my wolf is pushing me to go to him.
If I don't leave his presence now, it'll be too hard to later.
I try to move past him but he grabs my hips and pins me against the wall, crashing his body into mine, making our lips touch.
My breath catches in my throat as he kisses me harder.
I hate to say it but my lips start moving against his.
I can't help the undeniable amount of desire running through every nerve in my body.
No, it's only the stupid sparks. Why are the sparks still there? His lips go down to my neck.
“I can make you feel so good, Elora,” Joel whispers, his hot breath travelling right through my ear making me shiver.
I squeeze my eyes shut trying to get a hold of myself.
My wolf is approving this contact with Joel but I'm not.
He has disrespected me too many times. He's coming to me now because I'm his last option.
If I'm not his first, I don't want to be anything to him.
As hard as this choice is for my wolf, I make the decision to push him away, for good. Axe is the only one who deserves me.