Chapter Thirty-One
He is experienced. I am innocent. He is strong. I am delicate. He is rage. I am placid. We're so different. But we are both broken. As we come together as one tonight, those pieces will mend.
When Axe reaches the bed, he kneels onto it and stops in front of me.
His hands reach out and caress my face then he softly presses his lips against mine.
I kiss him back with all I have. He obviously notices my persistence and lays me down, holding himself above me so he doesn't put his weight on me.
Axe spreads my legs and pushes his bottom region against me.
As nervous as I am, I run my hands down his body and lift his shirt up and over his head.
His glorious torso looks even more gorgeous with the candles glowing on him.
I don't get much of a look at his body because he doesn't part his lips from mine.
His teeth tug on my lip making me gasp. His lips travel over me, across my jaw, down my neck, sucking on the visible flesh of my breast. He tries to slip the strap down my arm but I touch his chest.
“Wait, I thought I would keep the nightie on,” I murmur, and he nods in understanding.
I want this to be perfect, not just for me but for him as well. So I don't want my still visible bruises to be in his line of sight and have his mind on them instead of focused on being in this moment with me.
His lips return to mine but my mind is focused on his large bulging region pressed right at my centre. He leans back and pulls my nightie up a little and slides my underwear down my legs. My breathing becomes erratic when his fingers slide up my wetness.
“Axe,” I gasp loudly when his thumb presses firmly against my clit.
His eyes shoot to mine. The black of his pupils are all I can see. It's like he took a drug and his pupils blew out to the point of only a slight ring of his eye colour.
“I can't wait any longer.” Axe leans over and grabs the box, tearing it open and grabbing a condom.
I watch in anticipation as he takes off his pants and puts the condom over his manhood.
Axe leans down between my legs, rubbing my clit for what feels like only seconds before he gives me one last intense look then pushes into me.
I feel a huge intrusion and sharp pain resonate throughout my opening.
I can't help the cry that leaves my mouth as he pushes in as far as he can.
The next few minutes aren't what I expect.
I imagined my first time being sweet love.
But with an alpha, that wasn't going to happen.
Axe is rough with his movements. His first few thrusts are slow but then he takes me.
Really takes me. Powerfully. His teeth are clenched and he looks to be in pain.
But instead of focusing on him, the pain of him entering me over and over is all that's on my mind.
The sharp pain is only with the initial thrust, then it's an uncomfortable pain with each of his movements.
I can't help the tears that fall or the whimpers that leave me.
The raw power emanating from him is such a strong force to reckon with.
It feels like he doesn't fit. Maybe it's because it's my first time.
He didn't even use the lube. The first time will always be uncomfortable, though.
Hopefully it feels good next time. But as for now, my crying is involuntary.
“Stop,” my voice cries out for me.
At that, Axe freezes where he is. His wide eyes look down at mine.
He slowly lifts up and pulls himself out of me, leaning back on his knees.
The soreness between my legs doesn't go away once he's out.
Axe's eyes are between my legs. He reaches out and swipes his hand over my inner thigh, which stains him with blood.
I lean up, seeing blood smeared between my thighs.
“I'm sorry,” he pants. “I hurt you.” His eyes capture mine, and I see the guilt in his, which are now returning to their normal colour. The lust is leaving him rapidly; even his manhood is going soft. His clean hand wipes my tears but then he growls and stands from the bed.
“Axe,” I call. He turns around and heads for the door. “Wait.” But he doesn't listen. He walks out.
I let out a breath as I sit up. Even though I'm dirty and the bedding is, I grab a blanket and lay it over me.
I don't want to get out of bed and have a shower.
Why did Axe leave? When I told him to stop, I didn't mean to make him feel bad.
The pain was different. My beatings were more a constant burning pain resonating on my skin with tenderness to movement.
But Axe having sex with me was a sharp pain, a pain inside me, inside the most sensitive part of my body.
To have such a powerful and large man on top of me, caging me in, moving inside me at such a rough pace was overbearing.
I wish Axe had stayed with me and wrapped me in his arms, telling me it's okay.
But instead he left. Is he angry that I told him to stop? I need to talk to him.
There's a knock on the door and I straighten up and wait for Axe, but he wouldn't knock.
“Come in,” I say.
The door slightly opens and Carson slowly comes in.
“Are you okay?” she asks, biting her lip nervously.
“Yes, but it hurt. I told Axe to stop and he left. I'm not sure what he's thinking.” I sigh. “What are you doing here?”
“Axe told me to check on you, then he took off.” Carson walks over to the edge of the bed and sits down. “It wasn't what you expected.”
“He was a lot rougher than I thought he would be.”
“It won't be like that next time. Trust me, my mate ravaged me the first time.
He got gentler over time. I think with men it's something about touching their woman for the first time that makes them lose their composure and restraint.
It's not that they want to hurt us. It's just the drive of their body is stronger than the concern in their mind,” Carson says honestly.
“That makes sense. But why do you think Axe left instead of staying?” I ask.
“Elora, that was his first time since his mate. You have become so important to him, and he hurt you so he must be filled with overwhelming shame right now. He's most likely struggling with a lot of emotions which would keep leading him to regret.”
“Oh.” I look down. “What should I do?”
“You should get some rest. He'll get over it,” Carson says calmly. She goes around and blows out all the candles. “I'll be in my room if you need anything.”
I roll over on my side and close my eyes. I'll talk to him tomorrow, but I can't seem to fall asleep, worried that this affected him in a way that makes him not want me anymore.