23. Fight
Twenty-Three
Fight
brICK
“Baby,” I whispered, barely able to get out my words. “W-We gotta get you outta here.” I tried to go for the knife I dropped by her feet, but my body failed me, sending me crashing to the floor.
“Brick?” she cried. “Baby? Baby? Oh my God!” I watched as she leaned down, her hands being free made it easy for her to grab the knife and free her ankles from the ties. The next thing I knew, she was kneeling over me, pulling at my clothes frantically.
“Destiny, calm down,” I gritted out, grabbing her hands and trying to soothe her.
“Brick, be still. Where’s your phone? No, no, no!” she repeated in a frenzy as she tried her best to put pressure on the wound.
“I'm okay. It don't even hurt. M-My brothers…” I found it getting harder and harder to speak, but I wouldn’t tell her that because I knew she would panic.
“I’ll call them as soon as I get your phone, baby! Where is it?” She continued searching through my pockets for a phone that I knew wasn’t on me.
“Nah, Peep, look at me,” I held her tearstained face in my bloody hand. “I-I love you.” I used every bit of strength to push my words out, hoping that would give her some sort of peace.
“No, no! Don't say that. Remember what you said? Tell me that later.” Her bottom lip trembled as she sat completely still.
“But I do,” I said through a weak chuckle. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I wasn’t sure if there would be a later for us. A tear slipped down my cheek at the thought of our story ending so soon.
“I lo-love y-you too,” she hiccuped .
I deserved this. She didn’t. Even still, if I had to go this way, I was glad the last face I saw was my angel before my eyes fluttered shut.
* * *
My whole body jolted as my eyes shot open.
“The fuck?” I mumbled, sitting up. I wasn’t at my house…
I was at our old apartment. The one we lived in when I was a kid.
The floral wallpaper and feel of the velvet couch were two things that I would never forget.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could spot my green Power Ranger action figure in the corner that Ma used to stay on my ass about for leaving on the carpet.
“Watch your mouth, lil’ nigga.” A booming voice from across the room made me sit straight up. I looked down at my chest first, searching for the hole that should have been there. Everything looked normal, then I saw him.
Tall and strong as he ever was, the blueprint for me and my brothers.
The only man I ever saw my Mama love.
“Daddy?” I asked, tears streaming down my face.
“Son, what I tell you about all that cryin’?” he asked as he sat up, resting his elbows on his legs.
“A man doesn’t cry,” I answered, but my body didn’t get the memo, and I continued to cry silently.
He stood up and lumbered over, taking a seat next to me on the couch.
When I reached out and realized that I could feel him, I completely broke, falling into his arms and sobbing like I did the last day I saw him… only that time I was four.
“Come on, Brick,” he said with a chuckle as he rubbed my back. “Aight now. It’s okay to cry sometimes. I guess I got that shit wrong, but I need you to pull it together,” he fussed as he continued to hold me.
“Why didn’t you come back to see me?” I asked once I was finally strong enough to sit up and look him in his face. “You said you would always be with me, but you just… left.”
“I didn’t think you needed me,” he said, expression almost guilty.
“I needed you!” I said between sniffles. “I still need you! I always needed you!”
“I’m sorry,” he said, tears of his own now falling down. “I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you boys. I’m sorry what losing me did to you and your Mama. If I could take all this shit back, I never would have done it.”
“Am I… Am I dead?” I asked as flashes of my life scrolled through my memory. My brain got tripped up on my wedding day, and the visions of Destiny standing there looking beautiful as ever made me break down again. The thought of never seeing her again was entirely too much for me to bear.
“Nah… but it’s up to you, son. You have a choice that I didn’t get. You can fight your way back, but it’s not gonna be easy.”
“She’s worth it,” I answered quickly. That made a smile spread across his face.
“Then fight your way back to her. Go and be the husband I never could, the father I didn’t get a chance to be… And son…”
“Yes?” I asked.
“Be easy on your mother. She loves you… all of you. She just doesn't know how to show it, and she's afraid.”
“Afraid?” I scoffed. I hadn’t seen fear in that woman at any point in my entire life. She was the one that taught me that fear was all in your mind, and if you showed it, then you were weak.
“You’re old enough to remember, but I’m not sure if you really understood what was going on.
When I… left,” he said, struggling over his words.
“She was crushed. She had to make the decision to stay every day for y’all.
She got it in her head that if she made you boys strong, none of you would have to feel the pain she felt.
She was wrong, but she did it with the best of intentions.
Give her some time and some patience, she’ll come around. ”
I wanted to scoff, until I realized that whether it was intentional or not, she made me the happiest that I had ever been when she forced me to marry Destiny.
“I-… I’ll try,” I whispered back.
“You gotta get back now. You don’t have much time left,” he said, pulling me into a hug. “I love you, son.”
“I love you too, Daddy.”
“Get him up! Hold his head!” The next thing I heard was a voice that was not my Pops, close, but different.
“Wait! I gotta keep pressure on the wound! Go slow!” I heard the voice of my Angel, but she also sounded different. Assertive, sure, but also hurting and scared.
“Nah, nah, open the back! There’s more room in the back!” This time I recognized Kilo’s voice, and at that moment, I realized that the other voice was Pistol. I sighed in relief, realizing that my brothers were there. At least my baby wasn’t alone.
“Brick, baby,” Destiny called as she gently tapped my face.
“I need you to wake up for me, okay? Baby, please wake up!” She begged and pleaded like her life depended on it.
As hard as I tried, I couldn’t open my eyes or my mouth to grant her request, so I just listened to her cry the entire way to the hospital.