Chapter 21
Lark
Eight fifty-three, and still no sign of Amanda.
I shove the pizza into the oven, too hungry to wait any longer.
Even though it would be nice to have a glass of wine when it’s done cooking, if for no other reason than to settle my anxiety regarding how my friend is acting, she was in charge of buying that, so there is none.
I sit in the living room with my laptop open, taking advantage of the time by going through application checklists. I scored well on the MCAT but was surprised not to receive any early offers of admission.
I’m told by my advisor not to worry. How is that even possible? Worrying is something I get straight A’s in.
My phone screen lights up with a text message. I eagerly look down to see if it’s from Amanda, but I’m not disappointed that Harbor sent it. Do you want me to come over later? Or would you rather get together tomorrow?
Sitting here realizing I’ve been stood up by my best friend, I text him: What if we stay at your place tonight?
He replies: What time should I pick you up?
Anyone trying to pull a fast one over on their girlfriend wouldn’t invite them to the scene of the crime. Feeling vindicated, I type: How’s ten o’clock?
Harbor: See you then.
The timer on the oven goes off and I return to the kitchen. As I’m pulling the pizza out of the oven, I decide I just need to go on with my night. Amanda clearly got a better offer. I settled back in on the couch and finish one piece just as I finish one of the applications.
My finger hovers over the “submit” button.
It’s normal to be nervous, but this feels like my entire future hangs in the balance.
Technically, it does. I’ve worked hard for the past three-plus years, sacrificed having a life for having one in the future.
There is no backup plan for if I don’t get in or get in and don’t get the scholarships to cover it.
I hit the button with my shaky finger and then flop back on the couch. There are no takebacks now. It’s out there.
Six more to go.
I get through two more applications and three large slices of pizza when I hear the key sliding into the lock. The front door opens. Laughter enters before Amanda and Dane walk in together, and if I’m not mistaken, she wobbles on her ankles.
Not able to get her key free from the lock, she looks up and sees me. “Damn key always getting stuck. Does this happen to you?”
“Sometimes,” I reply, much quieter than her volume.
“I’ll get it out,” Dane says, bumping her out of the way and bending down eye level with the lock as if that will somehow help. He glances at me. “Hi, Larky.”
“Hi.” I close my laptop and stand, collecting my belongings.
When I move into the kitchen to wash my plate, Amanda says, “You already ate? We just got here.”
Since there’s no bottle in sight, I’m thinking she and Dane shared the bottle of wine. And by the looks of them, they drank more than a bottle of wine tonight. Did she forget about me?
“It’s almost ten. I’m cleaning up.” I’m too pissed to play nice like nothing happened. I scrub the plate and rinse it, all while they stumble around eating the rest of the pizza.
With a mouthful, Dane falls against the counter beside me, and asks, “Why didn’t you come out tonight?”
“I wasn’t invited.” I reach around him and grab the towel.
“Sure you were. You’re always welcome.”
I dry the plate and then move to put it up. “Excuse me,” I say to my roommate, not bothering to even give her the courtesy of my eyes.
She slides to the right, enough for me to open the cabinet. “It was spur of the moment,” she claims. “Dane had an extra ticket to see a band down at the Bend in the Road Bar.”
He adds, “Mia couldn’t make it. Last-minute appointment at the salon.”
I actually don’t care what they did. I care that my friend didn’t respect our plans.
It’s not worth arguing with drunks, though, so I grab my laptop and phone and go to my bedroom.
“What time is your boyfriend coming over?” she asks in a mocking tone before I can close the door to block them out. “I’m surprised he’s not already here.”
I close the door and start packing my stuff.
I’ll deal with her in a little while. I shove clothes into my book bag and then grab my makeup and other toiletries from the bathroom, stuffing it in there as well.
Only five minutes until Harbor’s supposed to be here and I’d rather spend them waiting at the curb than inside here with the two of them.
I walk past the kitchen where they’re still eating and laughing as if they didn’t purposely exclude me from going with them tonight. Although Dane seems to be under the impression that my best friend invited me.
He asks, “Where ya going?”
My eyes stare from him to her, and then I reply, “To my boyfriend’s apartment.”
“I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.” He speaks louder as if I can’t hear them clear as day, “Since when?”
“Since a month ago.” He’s not been directly rude to me or anything, so I try not to be such a smart-ass to him. “Not many do know. We’re taking our time without others inserting their opinions.”
I walk out the door and am about to shut it behind me, but the key is still in the lock. Drunks. As much as I’m hurt by her actions and words, I still don’t want anything bad to happen. I dip my head back in. “The key is still out here. Make sure to take the key out of the lock.”
“I understand, mother,” she replies in an annoying tone.
I stop in my tracks, leveling her with a dagger-filled glare.
First, she knows that was a dig because she knows the story about Liz. And secondly, I don’t recognize her right now. This isn’t my friend. This is someone who wants to hurt me.
Why?
What happened?
What is she not telling me?
Her anger regarding my relationship makes no sense.
My heart aches from the cut of her words. I blink back tears and raise my head in a sad attempt to stop myself from crying. When I walk outside, Harbor’s already waiting for me. For me.
This man is here for me without question just like I am for him. That’s never been more apparent than it is right now. He grins, and tonight, it’s not so perfect, slightly lopsided in his smirk, but it’s perfect to me.
He meets me on the path and takes my bag in one hand and my hand in his other. “Good day?”
I debate if I should lay my troubles on him the minute we’re together again. He’s so happy that I don’t want to ruin his mood. He opens the car door and puts the bag in the back. I’m not always one for silence, so he looks at me and asks, “Everything okay?”
I bite the inside of my cheek. I have so much to be happy about, including finally going to his apartment tonight. I won’t let her ruin this for me. Whatever she’s upset about, we’ll get to the bottom of it and work it out some other time.
I’ll put on a happy face because Harbor deserves nothing less. “I’m good.” I slip into the car.
When he gets in, he reaches over, resting his hand on my leg. “Hungry?”
“No. I had pizza earlier.”
There’s a hint of nervousness hanging in the air, his gaze volleying between me and the road. “I went to the store and got a few things. So if you’re hungry—”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to. I don’t have people over very often.”
He starts driving again, always so careful when I’m in the car. I’ve been on dates when they didn’t even care if I wore a seat belt. But here’s Harbor barely driving the speed limit when I’m with him. I’m starting to believe it’s another way he shows me how he cares about me. “Why is that?”
I’m answered with a shrug while he messes with the heater at a stop sign.
But my emotions aren’t fully back in check after the fight with Amanda yet, and the warm fuzzies I get from being with Harbor can’t cover the insecurities that have begun to shadow my patience tonight.
I’m so conflicted, also not wanting to make him feel interrogated with no escape.
“I’ve never seen the place. I don’t even know where you live. ”
“Yeah.” The shyest smile lies on his face, and he runs his thumb over his bottom lip. “I have no good excuse other than I didn’t want my secret revealed.”
“You have a secret?”
Rolling his palms over the steering wheel, he begins to laugh. “I have a feeling it won’t surprise you.”
Not sure what to think, I ask, “What won’t surprise me?”
“I’m messy.” One hand goes into the air as he laughs. “I spent an hour getting it clean again. Between me rarely being home lately and Noah hanging around more than usual, it was like a fucking bomb went off in there.”
To say I’m relieved is an understatement.
He’s messy . . . That’s all it is. Not some life-shattering news.
I start laughing, mainly at myself for overthinking this.
“I can be messy sometimes, too. My dad had to learn the skill of cleaning over the years. So I get it, especially with things like school and the applications getting in the way.”
“Your brother stays with you?”
“Only when he wants to get laid.” His gaze shoots to me.
“I probably shouldn’t have revealed that, but I’d rather spend the night with you than listen to him and some girl bang all night.
” He slows when the light turns yellow and then stops on red at the square downtown.
“Between my apartment and the main house, he goes to mine. Not that he has much choice. My parents don’t approve of one-night stands. ”
“Do any?” I laugh.
Chuckling, he replies, “Probably not.” The light turns green, and he begins to drive again but glances at me quickly.
“My dad would flip if he caught me and some guy in bed.”
“Some guy,” he repeats as if the words don’t sit right.
The image of him alone with “some girl” doesn’t sit right with me either. I reach over and rub my hand over his leg. I move away from that thought. “Are you free to come over for Sunday dinner?”
“At your dad’s house?”
“Yes. He’s making burgers and said you need to bring a side dish, but I can cover that.”
“No way. If he wants me to bring a side dish, I’m bringing it. I’m not starting off on the wrong foot with your dad.”
“There’s no starting off. You’ve already met him. Several times.”
“But this is the first time we’ll be hanging out. The game will be on, right?”
“He wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s the sound of my childhood.”
At the next street, he takes a right and then another left.
I don’t ride my bike in this direction, which is opposite of where I live.
Our little town has been growing steadily for the last decade, but I had no idea of the revolution happening on this side of town.
“Who knew they were building low rises on the other side of campus?”
“I did since we deal with the noise every day. This is it.”
I jerk my gaze forward in anticipation. It’s a brand-new building, all right, but unlike the modern glass eyesore I expected, this building is designed in brick with black-framed windows and architectural detailing that could fool you into thinking it’s older.
Harbor pulls into the garage and drives down the row until we reach the parking spots closest to the elevator. He parks but doesn’t rush to get out. He doesn’t seem himself, which makes me tense. Surely, a messy apartment can’t be causing this.
We walk to the elevator holding hands, my backpack slung over his shoulder.
His grasp is firm, his eyes forward, tempting me to laugh at how ridiculous the buildup of this apartment has become.
When I lean against him, he automatically brings his arm around me.
In his arms, the world doesn’t feel so heavy.
Fights with friends and stress from applications all disappear when I’m with him.
When we get in the elevator, he picks the fifth floor. “The penthouse?” I ask, my gaze shifting from the buttons to him before I catch a glimpse of myself in the reflected metal of the doors. Pressing my hair down, I slide my hand lower, hoping to calm the chaos.
“My parents bought it when Loch was ready to live in an apartment. Noah will probably move in next summer when he turns twenty-one. After he graduates, they’ll save it for Marina. Of course that depends if she stays to attend Beacon U. to continue the tradition or breaks the mold.”
Must be nice to have options like that. I catch myself before my thoughts turn sour.
I can be jealous of how life seems to have no hurdles for him or his family, but how will that leave me?
Alone and feeling like I judged him the way I would never want to be judged myself for barely scraping by.
I’m grateful that I have a job that pays well enough for my priority to stay focused on school.
“With four kids, it was probably a wise investment.”
The doors open and we walk to the end of the hall, opposite of the other front door on the floor. He opens the door and waits with his back to it while I walk in. My mouth falls open, but I can’t stop staring.
Now I understand why he was keeping it a secret.