Chapter 34
Tuesday
Over two glasses of Perrier and now pizza and wine, I’ve learned more than I had in the seven weeks prior.
I’m an only child.
Graduated at the top of my class from Columbia with a major in business and a minor in fine arts. I would have guessed the opposite.
I work for my family’s company in marketing, which gives me peace of mind that I was doing something with my life.
The downside is that Carter had been brought on in accounting, apparently by my request. That makes no sense to me because I can’t figure out our relationship.
It doesn’t sound like we had a particularly good one, and he talks about the cheating being within the guidelines. Really weird.
In my heart of hearts, cheating is a no-go. Not only can I not handle it, but it feels wrong, hurtful, and disrespectful to your partner.
As I sit here trying to bridge the gap of who I am now and my beliefs to who I was in the past, so many things don’t add up to being in love with him. Much less putting him in positions of power in my life. “If I had a job,” I start, “why was no one questioning when I wasn’t showing up for work?”
“Well, ‘showing up for work’ is relative to the situation. The company is run out of France.”
“France?”
She nods as if she’s just shared the juiciest secret.
Looking at her eyes, I can’t tell if they’re more playful from the bonding time or if she just loves to gossip.
Either way, I’m here for it. “Yep. Your family owns an olive oil company in France. It’s a stunning property that’s been in your family for generations, like two-hundred years or something. ”
France . . . my mind wanders the imagery of the countryside that’s popped into my head. “I like it there.”
“You love it there. You always called it your happy place.”
“Why was I living in Rhode Island if my happy place is in France?”
“I’m off.” We both turn to see Carter in the foyer. When he sees us sitting in the living room, he adds, “Thought you were going to rest? I knew I shouldn’t have texted Allison. Leave it to her to barge in like—”
“Like I’m her best friend?” Allison shoots me a got him look, a small smirk playing on her lips. As if she didn’t make it clear before that she’s not his biggest fan, she’s crystal this time. “You’re not wrong there.”
It’s safe to say they mutually dislike each other.
I say, “It’s been good to catch up with her again.”
He spins the key ring around his finger, his eyes darting to her like she might spill the beans. I have no doubt that if she has beans on him, she’s spilling them. “Well, don’t wait up.”
Staring at him, I reply, “I wasn’t planning to since you’ll be staying at your place.”
The chime of the keys clanging together in his palm breaks the silent standoff between us. His eyes stay fixed on mine, but the humor he thought he had in the situation has gone. “Maybe I should stay.”
Whipping around, Allison asks, “No, we’re good. Right, Tues—C?”
With both sets of eyes glaring at me, I shift and take another sip of wine. “We clearly have a lot to talk about, Carter. I look forward to that tomorrow, but tonight, I’m spending time with Allison. She’s filling me in on everything I missed.”
“She’ll get you drunk and feed you lies, Céline. You know how she is.”
Allison tenses and fists her hands. “You know what—”
“I can think for myself.” I step in before a war breaks out.
“Isn’t that what got us here?” he barks, the veins in his neck bulging. “I’m already late meeting the guys. We’ll talk tomorrow.” He walks out the door, letting a gush of cold wind and snow rush in.
Chilled, I turn to the fire, holding my hands out to warm them. The flames remind me of Loch’s eyes and the way the fire inside him licks at my body when I’m lying naked. He looks at me like I’m his whole universe.
Though Loch comforts me momentarily, a shiver runs up my spine that the guy who just left has probably seen me naked. Ugh. That’s a memory I hope I never retrieve.
“He’s such an asshole,” Allison says. “You really need to toss him to the curb.”
“Why haven’t I?”
With puffed cheeks, she exhales loudly. “Only you knew why and now you don’t know at all.”
“Truer words have never been spoken.”
I drink more wine and curl my legs beside me. “It’s a mystery. That’s for sure.”
She scoffs. “He’s so frustrating. He loves playing mental games—”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking earlier. The verbal sparring with him is exhausting.” Holding the glass on my leg, I catch the fire reflecting in the crystal. “I’d like to get back to France.”
“Me too. We should go.”
Laughing, I add, “I meant back to what we were talking about. If France is my happy place, why’d I stay here?”
Her eyes find mine under her laughter. “We’ve had some killer parties here, for one. They were the most coveted invite in town. That is, until Carter put an end to them. He hated all the attention you got from other guys. He’s such a weasel.”
She gets up and digs in a cabinet next to the fireplace.
“You left once, but Carter got on a plane and brought you back within a week. Only you know what he said to convince you to come back. Another mystery to solve.” Pulling out a book, she opens it and then returns to the couch next to me.
“Whatever he has on you, it must be bad because you could have any guy you wanted.”
Whatever he has on me?
“You think he’s extorting me or—”
“Just a hunch since you never seemed that over the moon about him. Sure,” she says, shrugging, “you’ve had good times, but something was always off.
I think you two are from a small pool of choices.
I’m not judging. I’m in there swimming around, too.
We can’t just date anyone when our families have so much wealth.
” Her head wobbles. “Well, we can, but is it worth the hassle of possibly being cut off?”
“Why would we be cut off?”
“You know what I mean. It’s just easier to date people splashing around in that same pool as you than to fight to be with someone else. Not saying it’s impossible. Look at Matt and me. He’s broke. But I love him, so he’s worth the fight.”
“You had to fight for him?”
Her shoulders roll up and then fall again. “Not really. My mom loves him, but Carter’s family is different. I think you were the goal from the moment his family met you.”
“That’s so romantic,” I say, feigning a swoon.
“It’s about a suitable match in their eyes, not romance.”
I never thought twice about Loch’s money in terms of what I could get from him. If we’d met with less, I still would have fallen in love with him.
Holding the photo album, she places her hand on it. “You always dreamed of moving to France, but Carter put an end to that. So is extortion out of the realm of possibility? Not with him,”
Sounds like the end of me. Till death do us part indeed.
“But that’s just me because I think he’s an asshole.”
“I left, Allison. I left during the ceremony and didn’t go through with it. He cheated on me, but it doesn’t sound like it was the only time. So what was different that day other than the obvious and the wedding?”
She sits back, chewing the inside of her cheek. Reaching for her wine again, she finishes it. “When you left, you left me as well. I was left in the dark as to what had happened.”
Reaching over, I touch her arm. “I’m sorry.”
“It must be hard not remembering, but for what it’s worth, I tried my best to make his life a living hell for what he did to you.” She stands. “More wine?”
“I think I need it.”
She’s quick to the kitchen and returns with the bottle we already opened. Refilling our glasses, she says, “I was hurt when you left. We talk about everything, but there was no contact from you, and you never answered your phone.”
Her admission draws my attention. “I’m sorry.”
An assuring smile is quick to appear. Sitting down next to me again, she taps her glass against mine. “That doesn’t matter now that you’re back. Anyway, I know what’s happened since.”
She doesn’t, though. Not the full story of me in Manhattan, living a life I could only dream of.
She doesn’t know the little things that matter, the parts that I protect in my heart from the outside world—how he looks at me like I’m his savior, the kisses he sneaks on my cheek when he thinks I’m sleeping, or how he stopped his life to tend to mine until I was steady on my feet again.
I sip wine and take a gulp, knowing I want to shout about Loch from the rooftops, to speak so freely about my feelings like I do at home . . . home.
Loch. “I fell in love,” I blurt.
Wine spews from her mouth, causing me to jerk back. “You what?”
I burst out laughing, but it feels so good to speak freely. “Good thing it’s white wine on these light-colored couches.”
She’s dabbing the sides of her mouth with her shirt when she asks, “You’re in love?”
“I am.” My body reacts—heart thumping in my chest and a smile that gives away the truth. “My whole soul is in love with a man in New York City.”
Allison leans forward, her hand touching my forearm. “I’ve never wanted anything less than true love for you. Céline,” she gushes, her shoulders faltering under the weight of a resolved breath. “Tuesday. Are you Tuesday with him?”
“Yes. He was in the coffee shop that day before the mugging. We actually talked while waiting for our orders.” I leave out the part about being rude to him even though this aligns with who I used to be.
I don’t want that associated with my relationship with him.
I want her to know him like I do. “He saved me, Allison.”
“Saved you?” A bated breath is held and then she reaches over to take my hand. “How?”
I let my thoughts return to the many moments I spent with him—seeing Loch standing there at the shelter after I thought I had no other option but to go in.
The anger that surged in his eyes when the hotel manager thought I was a call girl .
. . the heat that man brings to every one of our sexual encounters.
I fan myself, but that doesn’t help, so I press my hands to my cheeks, remembering when he tossed me on the bed and then climbed over me, kissing me, bending me over the desk, loving me .
. . the words “I love you” falling from his lips as if he’d wanted to say them all along.
I swallow my memories, wanting to hold on to them for as long as I can. “He didn’t just give me a place to heal. He truly healed me and my heart, and showed me what real love is.”
Squeezing my hand, she says, “I think that’s the dreamiest thing I’ve ever heard.” Her eyes are brighter, the joy she feels shining through. The happiness is for me . . . something only a true friend would feel. “Is that where you’ve been? You’ve been with him all this time?”
“Since the moment I left the hospital.”
She leans forward and steals a piece of pepperoni from a slice of pizza on her plate that was abandoned a while ago. “Where is he now?”
“He drove me to Rhode Island because I needed to do this alone. But he’ll wait as long as it takes me to figure out this part of my life.”
“So basically, you’re saying he’s the perfect man?” She opens the photo album. “Ignore me.” She waves me off. “I’ll just be here all jealous.”
I giggle. “Not to brag, but to totally brag, he’s pretty damn perfect.”
“Wow, I never thought I’d see you so happy.” Bursting out laughing, she adds, “You must have really hit your head.”
I join in the joy. She was so unexpected, but it’s amazing to have found an ally in her. “I guess it finally knocked some sense into me.”
She shifts closer to look at the album, but then her gaze rises to mine.
“I could see it the second I saw you again. You carry yourself differently. You even sound different. You’re still my best friend, just different.
It’s your aura, the glow you have shining from the inside.
You’re not the same girl who got Blake sent to military school. ”
“Stop it,” I say, tapping her with my hand.
“No, for real. He deserved it.” Her grin vanishes. “One thing, though. If I noticed how different you are, Carter did too. Be careful, okay?”