Chapter 35
Liv
As soon as the car pulls up to the curb, I kiss Noah and give Max a smooch. He’s all smiles for me this morning. The change in routine must be exciting for him. “So you’ll drop him off at Cassandra’s? Or you’re meeting her at the vet?”
“Her apartment. She said she’ll be back home by then. She just couldn’t make it across town in time for me to get to work at a reasonable hour.”
“Are they—”
“They’re going to the park, and she’ll bring him back to our place. Don’t worry. I’ve asked all the questions. I’ve got it covered, babe. Go before you’re late to the meeting.”
“Okay. Okay.” I force myself out of the vehicle but stand with the door open. After leaving sick last week, I don’t want to be late for the Monday morning meeting. Noah is always given more leeway since he’s in marketing, has a penis, and isn’t related to one of the owners of the company.
Go him!
He’s got the trifecta for earning my father’s respect. I roll my eyes but then realize I’m off in my head instead of appreciating my amazing life here. “Thank you for taking him.”
“No problem at all.”
“I love you guys.”
Noah stretches across Max’s car seat, reaching for me. Our hands connect, and he says, “I love you so much, Liv.”
It’s always too easy to get caught up in him. I need to go, though, or I’ll be late, and I don’t want to hear a snide comment from my dad in front of everyone. Or privately, for that matter.
Wearing his words like armor to protect me from the outside world, I step away from the car and close the door. I stay there, waving as they drive away.
When I turn around, my dad is standing there. Staring at me.
My breath catches in my throat. My palms begin to sweat. His silence is unnerving. His unflinching glare has me wanting to do anything to make him blink to break the anger in his face. “I can ex—”
He turns away and enters the building, leaving me on the sidewalk.
“Dad?” I run after him, swinging the door that he didn’t leave open for me.
The lobby bustles at rush hour, people cutting between us as I hurry after him. I bump into another lady and duck to the left before a delivery guy sideswipes me.
I see him ahead, stepping into an elevator, so I race and hop in before the doors close. It’s packed, and he’s at the back while I’m stuck in the front. The music plays too softly above our heads. I swear that everybody in the elevator can hear my heart pounding.
In the reflection of the metal doors, I see my dad leaning his head against the back wall. His eyes are closed, and although he’s skilled at holding his neutral expression, he can’t seem to hide his distress.
It’s the most human I think I’ve ever seen him.
The doors open, and I step out to let a grouping of others off on the fifth floor before getting back on.
Glancing at the buttons, we have two more stops before we reach ours.
This time, when I look in the reflection, I’m hit with his disappointment.
He doesn’t blink, leaving no room to misinterpret his feelings.
I look away, tilting my head to ease the knot forming at the base of my neck. The doors open, and I step out again until another three people have exited.
One more floor before we’re alone.
My mind rolls through a million excuses I can tell him, including apologies said right afterward. But those won’t work. I won’t lie anymore. Max and Noah deserve more. They always have, but I was too scared to lose my dad . . .
Dad? It’s all wrong when placed as a representation of my father.
He’s never been my dad, not like Noah is to Max.
I smile, remembering how Noah chased him like a goblin through the apartment last night and how our home came to life with laughter echoing through it.
I relish how my fight-or-flight response is gone when we’re holding hands and walking through the park.
Max sits tall on his shoulders, wearing his aviator sunglasses, and Noah wraps his other hand around his son’s back.
I’m unable to hide my grin when I think back to the naughty bath Noah and I took last night that was anything but clean.
The elevator dings at the next stop, and the doors slide open for the last time. Other people’s presence will no longer restrain my father’s temper, so I’m not sure what will happen, but I’m done caring. It’s too much of a burden to carry any longer.
This time, I step to the opposite side of my father, and the last two people leave. I don’t beg for his attention or for him to speak to me when the doors close. I know he’ll never give me that upper hand. It will be on his terms and only his in the end.
The end? Is that what this is?
Caught in a silent standoff, I don’t even look at him. I’m twenty-seven, but he still treats me like I’m ten. How sad that my memories with him only contain bad times.
The elevator alerts us to our floor just before the doors open. He storms forward, making me flinch backward, and grits through his teeth, “My office. Now.”
He’s already through the main doors before I brush down my skirt and step off the elevator. Exhaling, I take one step. Two. Just keep moving. As if my day can’t get worse, Audrina sings, “Someone’s in trouble.” Her cackling belongs in a Halloween movie, not the office.
I make a mistake when I look up. She adds, “Maybe he’s come to his senses.” Her eyes flashing with joy over my demise sends my blood pressure to outer space.
“You’re a horrible person, Audrina.” I walk to the door, knowing I should have never given her an ounce of my attention.
She stands, her sharp claws tapping against the reception desk. “You’re pathetic, Olivia.”
My feet stop without my permission, but running on adrenaline, I’ve never seen my situation clearer than I did downstairs. I have been living my best life outside the office for months and my worst in the confines of these walls for years. “You’re right.”
“I’m right?” She laughs again as she flops back in her chair, and mutters, “So pathetic.”
“I’ve been pathetic for putting up with my father’s, Chip’s, and your insults, and the bitterness of this office for too long.
God, way too long. But no more. If you think you have won, like you’ve finally run me off, you haven’t.
You and I both know whether I’m here or working elsewhere, my happiness is limitless while your lot in life is set. ”
She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “What are you talking about?”
“Let’s get into it, shall we? Let’s lay the cards on the table.
” I lean against the tall counter, overlooking her seated below.
“You thought sleeping with Chip would lead to a life of luxury. Did he offer the world to you in bed and then ignore you afterward? That’s his MO, Audrina, and you fell for it. ”
“You realize he chose me over you?”
“To fuck. Nothing more. I was offered the ring, the life, the future that was never attainable by you. You know why? Because he doesn’t love anyone but himself.
He’s a user. He used me, and he used you.
Instead of becoming allies, or friends even, you chose his side and made me the enemy.
You’ve bashed me for years to anyone who would listen. Why is that?”
She remains speechless. By how her mouth hangs open and her breath is coming heavy, I think I hit a nerve.
I say, “I know why. It was easier to hate me than yourself for falling for his lies.” I don’t feel better after all these years of imagining this takedown.
I feel worse. How did I end up here? Arguing with another woman about something that doesn’t even matter to me anymore?
This is not who I am. It’s not who I want to be.
Audrina’s still silent as if she never knew the truth. I look to the side, wondering what I thought victory would be like. Not this.
“He told me you were cheating on him.” When I look at her, she says, “He told me your relationship was nothing more than a business arrangement. And I believed him because that was the only way I could look at myself in the mirror for what I had done to another woman.”
There’s so much pain wrapped in her words and filling her eyes that I can only think to say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how he treated you. You didn’t deserve to be a victim of his lies.”
She stands on unsteady legs, holding the counter for support. With tears rushing the corners of her eyes, she takes a breath before shaking her head. “I didn’t deserve to be lied to, but you didn’t deserve that either. You didn’t cheat, did you?”
“No.” I lean forward. “But you know what? I didn’t love him either. I would have never called it a business arrangement, but I think this company played a big part in it. I think we were trying to please our fathers, but we only hurt ourselves and each other.” Reaching forward, I offer her my hand.
She takes it, and that brings a small smile back to her face. It’s funny how pretty she is when she’s not full of hatred. Her shoulders have softened along with the corners of her eyes. “What do you say we start over?”
I nod, and reply, “I’d like that.”
“Yeah?” Hope lifts her features.
“Definitely.” When we release each other, I add, “Not sure how long I’ll be working here, though.”
“We always have outside of work.”
“True.” I glance at my watch. “You should get going to the meeting. I’ve been summoned to my father’s office. I suspect I’ll be fired.”
“Oh,” she says, opening the door for me. “What’d you do? Break a rule?”
I laugh, and the feeling is so freeing from the tension long held between us. I walk into the office and turn around, walking backward. “Rules were meant to be broken.”
She’s smiling when I turn back to go to my father’s office. I don’t know what’s come over me, but I guess it’s time to face my problems head-on. I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome with Audrina. We should have had it out years ago. We could have been friends this whole time.
I round the corner and see his assistant at her desk. “Hi, Jennifer. I’ve been summoned.” I can’t not laugh. I’m high on life right now, and whatever happens next, happens. So be it. When the time comes, I’ll deal with the fallout.