17. Keris
K eris~
At this rate, alcoholism seemed like something that was going to be a part of my future. While I knew that I needed all my brain cells to deal with someone like Brantley Kingston, alcohol seemed like the thing to do whenever I was near him.
I also knew that I was going to have to look for a therapist when I started searching for AA classes because there was something seriously wrong with me.
Every time that Brantley growled at me or manhandled me, I dripped with lust and need, and that couldn’t be healthy.
Maybe it was because all my previous relationships had been with well-bred, refined, polite gentlemen.
..I didn’t know. Nevertheless, whatever it was, it was embarrassing for him to know my secret.
It was humiliating to have him know that I got wet for him.
My mouth might be spewing hateful venom at him, but I was beginning to wonder if I did it just so that he would lose his shit on me.
Masculinity was both a beautiful and destructive thing.
His cologne hit me before his voice did, and it was crazy how confused I felt.
I was mad at everything, and I didn’t know how not to be.
I was mad at my parents for losing everything, his parents for offering the deal, Brantley for his treatment of me and the shitty things that he’d said about our marriage, Rochelle for being so damn beautiful, Ares for taunting me the way that he’d had, and I was especially mad at myself.
I was so goddamn mad at myself for ever agreeing to marry Brantley when I knew damn well that I could have found an affordable solution for me and Lindsey had I looked hard enough.
Brantley’s arm slid around my waist at the same time that I felt his lips on my bare shoulder.
With one hand gripping my left hip, his other hand didn’t stop sliding across my body until he had one of my breasts cradled in it, and the fact that he was doing it in public, at a company function no less, was inappropriate, lewd, demeaning, and insulting.
However, if you asked my body, it also felt sinful, sexy, exciting, domineering, and so damn possessively hot.
With another kiss on my bare shoulder, Brantley said, “In a room full of women at their best, you are easily the most beautiful one among them.”
I stared down at my champagne flute, swirling the golden liquid inside, refusing to give him the reaction that he so obviously wanted by placing his hands on me in public.
“Yeah, well...everyone knows that brunettes can’t compete with blondes,” I replied acidly.
“I mean, how many blondes do you see dying their hair brown? Meanwhile, you can find an endless number of brunettes dying their hair blonde, what with blondes having more fun and all that. It was nice of you to try to pay me a compliment though, really.”
I felt Brantley’s sigh on my warm skin before he let go of my hip and breast, turning me around to face him.
“I should have followed you from the hallway immediately that night,” he said.
“I never should have let you believe that there was still something going on between us. For that, I apologize.”
I stared up into his gorgeous face and found myself not ready to make nice. “No,” I argued. “You never should have let her believe that there was something going on between us. She’s not the other woman in this scenario, Brantley; I am.”
“That’s bullshit,” he growled.
“Blonde, brunette, redhead...it doesn’t matter,” I told him honestly. “Rochelle will always be a woman that you chose voluntarily, and I will always be the woman that you were coerced into marrying for monetary gain.”
“You’re forgetting that you were also a choice,” he said. “I didn’t have to marry you, Keris. My family wasn’t the one in need of money.”
I let out an empty laugh at that. “You didn’t choose me, Brantley. You chose the mines, something that any levelheaded businessman would have done.” I shook my head before taking a drink of my champagne. “I can’t even blame you for that.”
“Look, it’s obvious that we’re never going to agree on how we came to become married, but we are married, Keris,” he said. “I refuse to go around and around with you for the rest of our lives. We’re married, and that’s the end of it.”
“Yeah, I suppose it is,” I murmured.
“Now, while I might not have the right to expect you to ever love me, I do expect loyalty, fidelity, and respect on your end,” he continued, and for whatever reason, that got my blood boiling again.
“I am your husband, and you will treat that title with the deference that it deserves, even if you do dislike me.”
“Why?” I asked. “You told your father that we were going to be married in name only. What happened to that plan? Why do you all the sudden care about the integrity of wedding vows that you took with a complete stranger?”
“I only said that shit to piss off my father,” he replied. “I wanted him to know that he was not going to control the narrative of my marriage, even if he does feel like he has a say in it. You were never meant to hear that shit, Keris.”
“Oh, I bet I wasn’t,” I scoffed.
“The truth doesn’t change, whether you choose to believe it or not,” he replied coolly. “We’re married, and ours will be a traditional marriage where you might not love me, but we will live together, share a life together, and have children together.”
My eyes flashed up at him. “Voicing demands doesn’t make them come true, Brantley.”
“What are you so fucking mad at?” he asked.
“You’re treating me like I’m the one that dragged you in front of that minister, and I wasn’t,” he reminded me.
“As for that shit with my father and that bullshit that Ares told you, none of that was true. Ares Cormac and I are bitter rivals, though we’ve always done our best to remain as professional as possible.
” He straightened his back as he stared down at me.
“However, all that came to an end last week when he got personal with you.”
“How did he know that we were married?” I asked. “How did he know about Rochelle if you guys aren’t friends?”
“Just like I keep tabs on Ares, I’m sure that he keeps tabs on me,” Brantley answered.
“Our marriage is public record, so it wouldn’t be all that difficult to get wind of it.
As for Rochelle, we weren’t exclusive, Keris.
I have no doubt that she probably closed a lot of business deals for a lot of men in this city.
That’s what she likes, that’s her thing.
You’re placing way too much importance on a woman that never mattered to begin with. ”
I hated how much I wanted to believe him.
I hated how I kept remembering how he felt last week.
I hated how my body was still clenching from his little stunt in my bedroom earlier.
I hated how I didn’t want to be miserable for the rest of my life.
If Brantley had wanted to be married on paper only, I could have made a life out of that.
However, since he was determined to live as a married couple, did I really want to be fighting with him every day?
God, the thought felt so exhausting.
No matter what, Huntley was right about Brantley never divorcing me.
Civil or not, no man in his right mind would give up control of those damn mines, so that left me at a crossroads.
Right now, in this moment, I needed to make a decision about my marriage and what kind of life I wanted, and that pressure felt heavy as hell.
Before I could say anything, Darius and Lorna Kingston approached us, and I finished off the rest of my champagne versus throwing it in Darius’ face. Sure, my parents were to blame for all this, but Darius wasn’t exactly innocent himself.
“After that debacle last week, I think it’s best if you two start looking like a loving married couple as opposed to two individuals who hate each other,” he clipped out, and the man had nerve, that was for sure. “Everyone is watching.”
“Your son just had his hand on my breast earlier, Darius,” I responded tightly. “How much more loving would you like us to get? Would Brantley flipping up my dress and screwing me in front of all your employees do it for you?”
“No need to be crude,” Lorna Kingston hissed. “Your marriage affects us all.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Brantley stated forcefully. “My marriage is none of your business, Mother. We did what was asked of us, the rest of it is none of your concern.”
“Appearances need to be kept up-”
“Screw this,” I said before walking away from their disfunction. Granted, I had no room to talk because my family was obviously just as screwed up, but at least they had the decency not to harass me about the clusterfuck that they’d place me in the middle of.
Depositing the empty champagne flute on a passing tray, I searched for the women’s restroom, not necessarily to hide, though that was debatable.
I just needed a moment. I didn’t want Darius Kingston butting his nose into my marriage any more than Brantley wanted him to, and I could see how that would put us on the same side.
Shutting the door behind me, I didn’t even care if someone was in here. Let them see me having a mental meltdown. People were already talking about my marriage to Brantley, so what was one more thing to talk about?
Looking in the mirror, it wasn’t lost on me how I kept finding myself searching for solace in the restroom whenever Brantley and I were in public.
I needed to reinforce my backbone if I was going to keep doing this.
Being Keris Kingston wasn’t going to be easy, especially since I didn’t really want to be.
When the door opened, my entire body froze when blue eyes clashed with mine in the mirror.