Chapter 23 #2
‘You have done the right thing, Jules,’ she said to herself as she arranged the courgettes in an artful pile and tilted a couple of the raspberry punnets so they were easily visible from the road.
If it hadn’t been for Rita and that rash decision to look after her, which she didn’t regret for one moment, she would have been back in Manchester and the whole situation would be out of sight, out of mind.
He wouldn’t be just down the road, and she wouldn’t be lying awake at night in Rita’s spare room thinking about him, wondering if he was also lying awake thinking about her.
Except love didn’t work like that, did it?
It didn’t go away just because you changed location.
‘Jules!’
The sound of his voice calling her name sent a jolt right through her.
He was striding up the driveway, kicking up dust and stones in his rush.
The sun was beating down and she hadn’t got a hat.
Why did she always leave her hat behind when she needed it?
There was an extremely irritating wasp circling her basket of figs, too.
She batted it away. There wasn’t room on the table for the basket.
She should have put it there first. She was going to have to rearrange a few things and she felt irrationally hot and flustered.
‘How are you?’
He had reached her now, but thankfully wasn’t standing too close. She didn’t think she could bear that. He was wearing a linen jacket over his shirt. He must be hot, too, but he looked pale and drawn.
‘I’m okay. You?’
‘Bearing up.’
There was an awkward silence.
‘Are you on your way home – to the cottage, I mean?’
‘Yes. I go back every afternoon around two when Rita has her rest.’
Of course he knew that, which was presumably why he’d been dropping Erin off at the farm a little later so as to avoid them bumping into each other.
‘You’re early today.’
‘Rita’s tired. She’s had loads of visitors and phone calls.’
‘I’ve got another appointment with my accountant later so thought I’d drop Erin off early, too.’
‘Hope it goes well.’
He swallowed, looked at the ground, toyed with a stone using the side of his shoe. Anything to avoid looking at her, she thought.
‘I’ve had quite a few enquiries since the party at the barn,’ he said.
‘That’s good.’
She moved the raspberry punnets but there still wasn’t room for the basket. She swayed it backwards and forwards to try and deter the wasp.
‘Let me,’ he said, and she stepped back to watch as his hands dexterously moved things around to create a much better display than she could have done, with a perfect space at the side for the basket of figs.
‘Can I walk with you back to the cottage?’ he asked, looking directly at her for the first time.
She felt the breath stall in her chest. This was the moment, she thought, the moment to say no, that it wasn’t dark and it wasn’t far and it wasn’t the nineteenth century, she’d be fine on her own.
This was the moment when what she said would make a real difference, would make him realise that she meant what she said the other day.
And she was about to say no, she really was, when the wasp dive-bombed towards her foot and stung her right on the end of her big toe.
‘Ouch!’
‘Ouch!’ Lance echoed. ‘I saw that.’
She hopped up and down and he took the basket from her, placing it at a safe distance.
‘Sit down,’ he instructed.
‘I’m fine,’ she said.
‘It was a huge wasp. That must be painful.’
‘It’s not too bad,’ she lied.
The sting was starting to take hold.
‘You’re not allergic?’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Thank goodness for that. I’ll go and get the car.’
‘Please don’t. I’m fine. Really. I’ll walk. I’ve got some antihistamine cream at the cottage.’
‘You can’t walk on your own. Look, it’s already swelling up.’
Jules looked down at her toe, which had turned bright red, a white halo encircling the puncture wound.
‘I’m getting the car. Sit down here.’
He led her to the grass verge and pressed her down.
‘Do not move,’ he said.
‘Can you bring a net for the figs?’ she called as he began to bolt back down the drive towards the farmhouse. ‘In the dresser drawer, top right.’
Without turning he raised his right hand and gave her the thumbs up sign before alarming the sheep with the speed at which he ran alongside their field.
‘Antihistamine cream from Tasha,’ he said, the tyres of the Mercedes skidding to a stop in front of her a few minutes later, ‘in case you couldn’t find yours, and a net for the figs.’
‘You’re a fast runner,’ she said.
‘Teenage cross country county team,’ he said. ‘Didn’t know I’d still got it in me. You’re not feeling faint, not going into anaphylactic shock?’
‘No, it’s just my toe that’s throbbing, but I’m not sure this is necessary.’
He helped her up and she could feel the heat of his hands against her skin and through the back of her dress. She had tried to forget how she felt when he touched her, but now it all came flooding back.
‘It’ll make me happier to see you home,’ he said, as she settled in the passenger seat and he wound all the windows down. ‘Air con’s on the blink and I can’t afford to get it fixed at the moment.’
‘I like the fresh air coming in,’ she said. ‘Air con makes my nose run.’
‘Me too,’ he said, a sudden smile lighting up his face.
That was good, she thought, seeing him smile. It made her feel safe and warm before a wave of guilt washed over her. She watched as he covered the basket of figs with a net.
‘You can have some if you like,’ she said when he got into the car. ‘There are loads more on the tree. I’m sure Rita wouldn’t mind.’
She put her head back and closed her eyes, feeling the air rushing over her face, lifting her hair and cooling her temples. It felt good to be sitting beside him even though the drive barely took two minutes. If only she’d met him at a different time in her life…
‘Here we are,’ he said, stopping the car at the front of the cottage. ‘Home!’
And for some unaccountable reason she burst into tears.
And he was twisting in his seat and holding her, not too tightly, not too gently, but in a way which was just right. He stroked her hair, leant his head against hers.
‘Shh!’ he murmured. ‘It’s all right.’
Over and over again he said those words, like a lullaby, a balm which seeped into her pores and travelled through her body.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she said at last, pulling away. ‘I don’t know what came over me.’
He looked at her for a moment.
‘Come on, let’s get you inside.’
In an instant he was opening the door for her, offering her his arm, releasing the latch on the gate and taking the key from her hand to unlock the front door. He led her into the hall and stooped to carefully remove her sandals.
‘Best thing to do is to put this in some cold water to reduce the swelling and then apply some vinegar followed by the antihistamine cream.’
‘You sound like an expert on wasp stings.’
‘Anyone who has a café on site has to be an expert on wasp stings. They’re a nightmare at this time of year and sometimes they just take against you for no reason.’
‘I was holding a basket of figs, which I suppose is like heaven on earth to a wasp.’
‘But you weren’t holding it with your toe.’
‘No.’ She half laughed. ‘That would be a feat! It was weird the way it dived like that, almost as if it had been blown in that direction.’
Jules sat on a chair in the kitchen while he filled a washing up bowl full of cold water.
‘Soak for five minutes,’ he said, lifting her ankle and gently lowering her foot into the water. He remained crouched in front of her, swirling the water around. ‘Maybe I’ll get some ice. That always helps.’
She reached out and touched the top of his head. He looked up, startled.
‘Thank you,’ she whispered. ‘Apart from Carrie I can’t remember the last time someone took care of me like this.’
And she leaned forward, cupping his chin with her hand, before kissing him lightly on the lips.
She felt a sweet thrill ripple through her, not the fireworks she’d felt with Gavin, but something better than that, deeper, potentially more long lasting, something to build on gradually, respectfully, tenderly.
But maybe she had blown it the other day.
Maybe he didn’t feel the same anymore. He may have been looking at her, but he wasn’t giving anything away.
Without speaking he reached for a towel and dried her foot, then applied some vinegar to a tissue and applied it to the end of her toe.
‘Can you stand?’ he asked at last.
She nodded but a flood of disappointment made all her limbs feel weak. He was obviously ready to leave.
‘Good,’ he said, moving the bowl before standing up to enfold her forearms, ‘because it’s difficult to kiss you properly like that.’
And slowly, questioningly, he drew her closer, but she didn’t resist. She let him wrap his arms around her and she tilted her head back for her lips once again to meet his.
‘I can’t believe this is real,’ she said later as she lay on the sofa, her head in his lap. looking up at his face.
Me neither,’ he said. ‘Better check, just to be sure.’ And he leaned forwards to kiss her again. ‘Yes, it’s real!’
Momentarily he rested his forehead against hers.
‘I thought I’d lost you for ever and then I heard that you’d offered to look after Rita so you’d be here for a bit longer and I wanted to hope but I told myself that you weren’t staying for me.’
She smiled up at him.
‘I couldn’t bear to leave the island.’ She dropped her voice to a whisper. ‘And I couldn’t bear to leave you. It was as if someone knew how I really felt and put those words in my mouth at the hospital to make me stay.’
‘I’m glad they did.’
She looked up at the beams.
‘It feels calm in here again, the way it felt when I first arrived.’
‘Could that be because your mother’s gone?’ he said with a smile.
‘Maybe, or maybe it’s because we’ve identified Philly and once she’s returned from the County Archaeologist, The Major says he’s going to make sure she’s reunited with her parents.’
‘I wonder why they weren’t buried together in the first place.’
‘That is something we’ll probably never know.’
‘Do you think the spirits of the cottage are happy again now?’
‘As happy as they can be,’ she replied.
‘I thought you didn’t believe in that sort of thing?’
‘Maybe my mother has performed some mind-altering spell on me,’ she said with a laugh.’
‘She called in at The Pottery to say goodbye.’
Of course she did, Jules thought.
‘And to ask me to keep an eye on you.’
‘Oh! That’s a bit out of order. I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be. She knows how I feel about you.’ She bit her lip.
‘There are so many things you don’t know about me, Lance, things I’m not particularly proud of, things which might make you change your mind about us.’
‘I doubt it, but I’m willing to take that risk, if you are. There are things you don’t know about me, too, remember? I understand how hard it might be for you to have a relationship with someone who isn’t exactly financially stable, but I promise I’ll never ask you for money.’
‘I know that. I trust you. I’m sorry you’ve had to rearrange your appointment with the accountant.’
‘I’m not. This is more important.’
‘I’ve always wanted my relationships to be perfect, not just romantic ones, all of them. I’ve put so much pressure on myself and other people. I don’t want to do that any longer. I’m exhausted by it.’
‘We’re not going to be perfect, Jules. No couple is.’
And she felt something release, as if her whole body had breathed out and relaxed.
‘What are you smiling at?’
‘The imperfect couple. It sounds perfect!’
He laughed.
‘Like the imperfect pot, which reminds me…’
He lifted her head and went through to the kitchen where his jacket was hanging over the back of a chair.
‘I brought this to give to you.’
She sat up and unwrapped the dark blue tissue paper.
‘Tasha’s jug!’
She turned it around, letting the gold tracery catch the light.
‘It’s beautiful. Thank you.’
‘You can take it back to Manchester when you go so you don’t forget us, any of us.’
‘As if I could ever do that. This place has been one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’ll have to go back for a while, though. I need to sort out my job and I need to report Gavin.’
‘I know.’
‘Manchester’s a long way from here.’
‘Nowhere would be too far for me.’
‘That’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.’
‘And I know you’ll come back.’
‘You sound as if you’ve always known that.’
‘I’ve always hoped. Besides, you’ve got a bowl to glaze and Erin refuses to do it for you.’
‘She’s sneaky, your daughter,’ she said with a smile. ‘So many people have helped to bring us together, seen and unseen. I don’t want to let them down. I don’t want to let you down.’
‘You won’t.’
He sat next to her as she cradled Tasha’s jug and savoured her good fortune.
‘There’s something or someone good in this house – a strong spirit of love,’ she said. ‘Can you feel it?’
‘I can,’ he replied, the tip of his nose touching the tip of hers, ‘and at the risk of frightening you away, I love you, Jules.’
He backed away slightly and placed a finger to her lips.
‘You don’t have to say you love me back. I knew you were someone very special the first time I saw you and I’m prepared to wait for as long as it takes.’
She kissed the end of his finger. She could say it now. She was pretty sure she would mean it, but she had to be absolutely sure. He was too precious to mislead.
‘Thank you for that,’ she said. ‘I don’t think you’ll have to wait long.’
He traced his finger around her lips.
‘Step by step. We have the rest of our lives.’
She nodded. He was right. They did. And the next step was to kiss him again.