Chapter 04
Ethan
I need to be clear and say that I never imagined my life taking this turn. I can”t say if it was knowing part of the laws or if it was the crush I felt for Javier. But I was too confused.
These things usually happen in movies, I didn”t imagine that in the middle of 2019 this shit would happen to me. Arranged marriage? Really?
At the same time, Javier was still in my room, his intention was quite clear, and I don”t know if I would have the strength to avoid any interaction with him.
Time passed in that short interaction and I soon noticed his gaze on my body.
I stood up, redder than a ripe tomato ready to be picked, I tried to face him, but it wasn”t the kind of thing I could do naturally.
I put on my hooded sweater and involuntarily curled my lip, as if I was expecting the worst.
— Come on, my mom prepared something for us. — He released it so softly, I already wanted a hole to stick myself in and certainly this thought of mine could be taken with malice, but I wouldn”t think about it, I would leave it to die of shame with the situation later.
When my omega felt that we were going to move away, he practically guided my thoughts and even without meaning to, I took a step in front of Javier.
The shit happened because his Alpha corresponded to my Omega and for a few moments I wanted to run away. My omega had decided to obey his alpha at that moment.
— Javier, please…
He took a step towards me and reached out, putting his hand on my face. Holy shit, my whole body shook.
Before I had a logical idea of ??what was happening, my body moved on its own and I ended up being inches away from Javier, I couldn”t resist, when I realized the reality, I was having my second kiss.
His tongue explored my mouth, I tried to follow his movements, my heart was beating very fast, to the point that I felt short of breath.
My hands were on his neck, while his hugged me around my waist, bringing my body closer and his scent became intoxicating, as if that were enough to make me calm and safe.
— From an early age I was thinking about how to kiss you again. — he confessed against my lips and gave me a peck.
— I should say something, something intelligent enough. — I blurted out the words in my embarrassment.
— Your omega called me, you were desperate in the kiss and my smell was enough to calm you down. — He found it.
- It”s not that. — I lied. — I”m just not used to being treated like this, it”s as if your reality is completely unattainable.
— We”ll be able to get you out of the agreement, you won”t need to get married. — he smiled and hugged me, during the hug, he kissed the curve of my neck and it was at that moment that his smell finally calmed me down completely.
- My father…
— Reid needs to be tough sometimes, but he”s not always like that, he”ll come to his senses and what happened earlier will help him reflect on the matter.
He hugged me tightly and it was as if the world around us disappeared. It was wonderful to be with him.
I looked into his eyes after the hug and those ice-colored eyes gained a yellow glow, as if they were the sun itself. He was his alpha.
Javier held my hand and guided me out of the room, we were heading to the kitchen hand in hand and my face heated up violently when everyone started staring at me.
My father occupied the end of the table, his wife was next to him, in the front chair, there was Andrey, next to him Aleph and Azaph and on the other side I was next to Javier.
— Nena, she”s going to serve dinner, she”s the one who takes care of some household chores, so if you need something from the house you can ask her. — Karise directed her speech to me and kept a sweet smile on her face. — I know I told you this before, but I”ll reinforce it, I want you to feel at home.
— Thank you… — my speech came out almost in a whisper.
I wouldn”t make a scene, but everything was so complicated. My father looked at me in a threatening way and his face weighed too much.
Javier didn”t stop surrounding me, but something else caught my attention, Javier”s brothers were looking at me intensely and it was at that moment that I felt scared.
Fear of what? I didn”t know.
— Ethan, this morning I wanted you to meet me at the cupola, I completely understand your reasons for not going, but I would like to have a conversation with you in private. — he smiled — after dinner, of course.
I nodded and was starting to break out in a cold sweat. I can”t tell if the air was charged or if it was my lack of knowledge about that family, but something really caught my attention. Andrey”s defiant look.
— Dad, it would be good to take him to the woods, running relieves tension and I believe he will sleep much better. — Andrey said smiling.
— I agree, but first I”ll need to talk to Ethan, I believe we didn”t have that time. — My father kept his smile, but deep down I felt it was something fake.
Something like he was going to put me on a leash and make me do something I wasn”t ready to do.
During the entire dinner, I was apprehensive and didn”t even notice what was happening around me, they were talking, laughing and I just stared at the plate, I didn”t eat, my hunger disappeared, it was strange and at the same time irritating.
— Well, I”m going back to the hospital. — Andrey got up and walked to the counter, where there was a white bag with handles. — It may take me longer to get there today, but tomorrow I”ll be home all day.
I remembered that he was a doctor, he came home for lunch, coffee and dinner, but he spent most of his time in the hospital. At least that”s what I understood.
I didn”t want to insult the owner of the house and ate as quickly as I could, oblivious to everything. I don”t know if they were still paying attention to me, I just know that eating without wanting to eat is a very difficult thing to do.
Dinner was over and with that it was time to talk to my father. I walked into the office, my feet sinking into the soft carpet that covered the wooden floor. The soft light of the crackling fireplace cast a golden glow on the dark wood furniture and inviting sofas, adorned with fluffy cushions in shades of moss green and burgundy red.
Through the large glass window, the forest stretched out before me, a blanket of white and silver in the moonlight.
My father was already sitting on one of the sofas, his imposing figure draped in a dark velvet robe. His blue eyes, usually stern, were softened by a touch of melancholy.
“Sit down, Ethan,” he said, indicating the sofa next to him.
I hesitated for a moment, before settling down next to him. The warmth of the fireplace and the comforting scent of pine that emanated from it enveloped me, creating a feeling of security and comfort.
— Ethan — Reid began, his voice low and gravelly — do you know why we”re here today?
I nodded, my heart beating wildly in my chest. It was about the need to find a husband, an alpha who would guide and protect me.
— Omegas are special creatures — he continued, — but they are also vulnerable. They need the strength and protection of an alpha to thrive.
I knew he was right. In the society we lived in, omegas were seen as inferior, fragile and needy. Without an alpha to care for them, they were often marginalized and exploited.
But the idea of ??marrying a stranger, of giving my life and body to a man I barely knew, terrified me. I wanted to love and be loved, not just be an object of possession.
“I know this might be hard for you, Ethan,” Reid said, placing his heavy hand on my shoulder. — But it”s what”s best for you. I promise I will find you a good man, a man who loves you and cares for you.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I wanted to believe my father”s words, but fear consumed me.
“I just… I just don”t want to marry someone I don”t love,” I said, my voice weak and shaky.
Reid sighed, his eyes filled with sadness. — I know, Ethan. But sometimes, love is not enough. Sometimes we need to do what is right, even if it is difficult.
He got up and gave me a tight hug.
— I love you, Ethan. I want what”s best for you.
I stood there, leaning against his chest, as the snow fell silently outside.
The snow continued to fall outside, creating a magical and silent scene. The fireplace crackled, casting a golden glow over the cozy office. I felt calm, but still restless. The conversation with my father had left me thoughtful.
— Dad, — I said finally, — and Javier?
Reid looked at me in surprise. —Javier?—he asked, raising an eyebrow. —What do you mean by Javier?—
— Don”t you think he would be a good companion for me?
Reid frowned. — Ethan, — his voice was serious, — Javier is your brother. It wouldn”t be appropriate for you two to be together.
“But he”s not my blood brother,” I protested. — He is your stepson, I have no connection with him.
— Karise”s children are very lonely, they like to have passions. — My father smiled awkwardly. — Let”s make a deal with the devil here.
I watched him walk behind his desk and pick up a folder. He returns and hands me the form.
— This is the record of Sirius, a young alpha, from high society and who can take very good care of you, he has never been involved in scandals and is respected by everyone. — My father smiled convinced. — You can keep any of Karise”s children, but if one of them hurts you, it will be handed over to Sirius.
— A punishment?
- Yes and no. — he sighed. — You need to understand that I know everything and everyone and I know what they are capable of and if the worst happens I won”t be able to intervene, you will have to bear the consequences.
My father hugged me tightly and I felt that he wanted to say more things about Javier or the others, the way he included everyone in the subject gave me that notion.
— Good…
— It was a mistake leaving you with Clara, if you had been raised with me, you would understand that I was doing what was best for you.
I can”t say if this was really for the best, my father was too serious, it”s okay that I didn”t know him well, but in my head it was impossible for Javier to do me any harm.
If it were this way he would have done something suspicious before and until that moment he had been a true prince charming. My father was wrong. Or he was trying to put me in the arms of a stranger to get rid of me. It made sense, after all he never cared about me, never called or looked for me. I had his number, but I don”t know, I never wanted to be the first to call.
He once again hugged me and sighed heavily, as if I were a big problem in his life. That made me feel sick right away. One moment I have a father and the next it seems like I”m the worst monster of all, those ghostly shadows that appear in the middle of the night to destroy families and at that moment, it really seemed like I was trying to destroy his perfect family.
Aleph and Azaph, were biologists, loved the forests and earned well, they were seen with pride by everyone. Andrey was a doctor. Javier is responsible for all city documents. Obviously he was proud of them. And me? Well, I was just a dumb teenager with nowhere to drop dead.
I left my father”s office with my mind on edge. His words echoed in my ears, each syllable a weight on my heart. My future, my future... everything seemed so uncertain, so out of control.
Before the anguish completely consumed me, I hugged my father once again. A brief hug, but full of unspoken emotions. I wished him good night and left, my heavy, slow steps echoing through the silent hallways of the house.
Upon arriving at my room, the door opened and Javier welcomed me into his arms. His warm touch was a balm to my soul, a refuge from the storm raging inside me.
Tears threatened to well up in my eyes, but I held them back tightly. I didn”t want to show myself weak, not in front of Javier. I needed to be strong, I needed to find a solution.
I sat next to him on the bed, our bodies fitting together like pieces of a puzzle. Silence hung between us, but it was a comfortable silence, filled with understanding and love.
— Look — Javier murmured, his voice soft and comforting — your father raised us. He did the best he could, made the decisions he thought were best for everyone. I”ll talk to him.
He held my hand firmly, conveying strength and security. “Go take a shower,” he continued, “and let”s go for a run in the woods tomorrow.” I know you”re tired right now, but the fresh air and nature will help you relax.
My eyes filled with tears upon hearing his words. Javier”s kindness, his understanding and his unconditional support moved me deeply.
He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead, a kiss full of tenderness and affection. In her eyes, I saw a reflection of my own love, a connection that transcended words.
“I”ll come back tomorrow to check on you,” he said, before walking away.
As soon as he left, I went towards the door and saw him entering my father”s office.
I was left alone in the room, the echoes of his footsteps fading into silence. Sadness still squeezed my heart, but now it was a sadness mixed with hope. The hope that, together, we would find a way to overcome obstacles and build a future together.
I did as I was asked, took a shower and went back to the room, unlike the previous night, now I felt cold and was shivering.
The cold of the night infiltrated through the window openings, making me shiver. I pulled the blanket up to my chin, seeking shelter from the cold that consumed me. But it was in vain. The cold came from within, from the depths of my being.
I tried to sleep, but my mind refused to settle. The conversation with my father, the revelation about Javier, the impossibility of our involvement... All of this was spinning in my head like a relentless whirlwind.
Suddenly, a chill ran through my body. I felt a wave of heat rise from my chest, burning my skin. I put my hand on my forehead and felt the burning of the fever. My body was shaking, my muscles were weak and sore.
The fever consumed me, but my thoughts did not calm down. Javier... I needed to see him, explain what was happening. But impotence dominated me. I was weak, sick, and I couldn”t do anything.
The hours dragged by like an eternity. The fever tortured me, thoughts tormented me. I felt lost, alone, not knowing what to do.
Finally, exhaustion got the better of me. I fell into a restless sleep, filled with nightmares and turbulent dreams. I dreamed of Javier, of my father, of the wolfish society that judged and condemned us.
At dawn, I woke up bathed in sweat, my fever still high. I stood up with difficulty, my legs wobbly and my body aching. I walked to the window and watched the snow falling outside. The world seemed white and cold, like my future.