Chapter Nineteen
MEREDITH
I couldn't believe that he’d brought me to the SoWa Winter Festival. It was on Washington Street all the way to Southend.
"I can't believe it," I gushed. "I didn't even know they were open yet."
"And you call yourself a Christmas enthusiast," he said. "I guess everyone decided to start Christmas earlier this year." He sounded like a total grump.
I never understood people who complained about Christmas starting early. It was the happiest time of the year. I started my countdown to the holiday in August, and that was after I celebrated Christmas in July. This was one of my favorite festivals in the whole city.
"What do you want to do first?" I asked.
"You’re in charge tonight. I’ve never been, so…"
I turned to him, gasping. "That can't be true. You're a SoWa Winter Festival virgin?"
He frowned. "I don't like the word virgin."
I grinned. "You don't, huh? I think I'm going to use it a few more times just to rub it in. Okay, I'll give you a tour. Let's start by buying something to drink. I love mulled wine. Or they have also these Christmas cocktails. I can't make up my mind."
I was so excited. This looked like something out of a fairy tale.
We went to one of the food trucks on the Trail of Light.
I chose a Christmas cocktail, and so did Cade.
I had no clue what was in it, but it was definitely not just one type of liquor.
I knew mixing alcohol was maybe not the best idea.
On the other hand, you kind of needed it to brace against the cold.
I’d stupidly dressed in sexy garters again instead of putting on wool tights, thinking we were going to stay indoors.
"Okay, let's start with a walk through the Pine Forest," I said.
This place was a true winter wonderland.
There were ice sculptures at the end of the Trail of Light, past the food trucks.
Walking through the Pine Forest always brought me joy.
"When I'm here, I feel like I'm a kid all over again.
My parents used to bring me here every year. "
"My parents weren't big on Christmas things, but my grandmother is. This is good." Cade nodded at his cup.
“You sound unsure. I scared you with that pumpkin drink.”
“Your words, not mine.”
"Oh, alcohol is a must for this stroll. Otherwise, you end up with frozen feet and hands.
Ask me how I know." I kept sipping my drink.
It definitely had rum and possibly champagne…
or vodka… or maybe all three? I had no clue.
I was about to ask Cade what was in his when I realized he was looking at me.
"What?" I asked.
"You're beautiful. I like seeing you so excited and happy."
"You're kidding, right? Seeing Christmas stuff makes me the happiest."
"Yep. I've made a mental note about that. I'll make sure to indulge you."
I grinned from ear to ear. My cheeks were a bit sore, but I was too happy.
We went down around the perimeter afterward, soaking up the lights.
"One day, I dream of moving into an actual home of my own," I admitted. "Something with a porch and a tiled roof so I can put up lights everywhere."
Cade threw his head back, laughing. "I like your criteria."
"Hey, it's as good as any," I retaliated. I couldn't stop looking at all the displays. "Oh, there was a bookshop here last year. I think it might have closed, though." It had been replaced by a shop selling jewelry. "I hope they didn't go bankrupt."
I put my hand on my chest. My heart was hurting just thinking about that, knowing it had been here for as long as I could remember. Yes, you could call me a nostalgic when it came to the holidays—it comforted me.
"She used to give me candy as a kid when my mom wasn't looking. I can probably look her up. Maybe she just found a better location."
Cade didn't say anything. When I glanced at him, I realized he was staring at me again.
"Something wrong?" I asked.
"No, but I can't believe you care so much about everything."
I shrugged. "It's just who I am."
"I'm starting to learn that."
I brought my paper cup to my lips, then realized it was empty. "Oh, I finished my cocktail."
"Here, you can have some of mine," he said. "Actually, you can have all of it."
I took his cup, and my eyes bulged. I glanced up at him. "You only took one sip."
He cleared his throat. "It's a little too… Christmassy for my taste."
I burst out laughing. "Obviously—it's a Christmas cocktail. My God, you're a Grinch. I wouldn't have taken you for one."
"I'm not, I just like celebrating Christmas, you know, on the day itself. Not for what feels like half a year."
"Grinch," I repeated, taking a sip. His cocktail was even more delicious than mine.
I figured it might not be the best idea to drink all of it, too, because I might get super tipsy and have a hangover tomorrow. But between feeling cold and feeling tipsy, I’d go with tipsy every time.
The whole place seemed like something out of a painting.
There were carolers somewhere, their light music filtering through the air—it was definitely live and not a recording.
Decorations were literally everywhere, and I felt like a bobblehead looking left and right and every which way.
Some of the shops had chosen simple themes, either red and gold or white and green, some silver and blue.
Some were multicolored. I preferred them the most, as I loved color.
For me, Christmas wasn't about a color palette or about what was trendy this year—not even about Santa Claus, although sitting on his lap as a kid had been great fun.
No, for me it was a celebration for the soul, the heart, and the family.
"Easy!" Cade exclaimed, putting his hands on my arms, stopping me so abruptly that I nearly spilled the rest of his cocktail.
I looked up and realized I had been about to walk headfirst into a booth.
"You didn't see this? You were headed right for it."
"Um, no. I was a bit too lost in my daydreams." I glanced at the cup. "And in this."
Holy shit! I'd nearly finished his drink as well. I looked behind me. We'd already finished strolling Payer Street. When did that happen?
Cade chuckled. "You're drunk."
"Yeah, like a skunk," I agreed. “I can't even argue. I don't really feel drunk, but almost knocking into the booth indicates I am.”
A female voice broke the air. "Cade, what are you doing here?"
Cade and I turned in the same direction. I blinked, wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me or if I was looking at the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
"Esther," Cade said curtly.
Esther looked like an angel. She had light blonde hair that was completely straight, and she was wearing a beret that matched her scarf.
Her coat was elegant, hugging her shape, and only reached her knees.
Slim calves peeked out, ending in gorgeous stilettos.
How was she wearing them in this weather?
I looked like a snowman with my thick winter jacket and my UGG boots.
"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" she purred.
"Meredith, this is Esther," Cade said.
"Nice to meet you," I said, reaching out to shake her hand. I felt Cade put an arm around my back.
"Babe, you're freezing," he murmured.
"Well, I've run out of alcohol," I said.
"Babe?" Esther said, laughing. "That's a joke, right?"
What the fuck? I looked straight at her, wondering if my drunk ears misunderstood her tone or her implied meaning.
"What's your problem?" Cade asked. His voice was belligerent.
Nope, I hadn't misinterpreted. He was pissed.
"You can't be dating her. She looks like a fucking Christmas globe, round and red."
Oh my gosh. How can someone be so hateful?
"Shut your mouth. You don't disrespect her like that," Cade chastised her.
"Hey, I'm right here." I got in her face.
"You can't talk to me like that." All through high school—college too—mean girls tried to make me feel like less of a person. As I became an adult, I refused to put up with that. Yes, it hurt when I was called names or talked about, but what I looked like didn’t define who I was.
She snorted. "Oh, you're bitchy, too, and drunk. My God, Cade. I'm not even going to tell people we dated, knowing you keep this sort of company. It's going to look bad on me."
"Feel free to never mention my name," Cade said nonchalantly. "I don't ever mention yours."
Esther's eyes turned hard. She tightened her coat around her, looking even slimmer than before. I didn't think that was possible. Next to her, I really looked like I was a freaking basketball rolling down the street.
"He has standards, you know," she said, staring at me. "He might have forgotten them, but not for long. He’ll kick you to the curb soon enough."
"Fuck off, Esther," Cade said before I could say it myself.
So I added, “Right now.”
She smiled at us, almost viciously. "My pleasure."
"Come on, let's go," he said, keeping an arm around my shoulders as we walked.
I tossed the empty cup in a nearby bin a bit more aggressively than necessary.
Esther pissed me off. I let her bring up some of those old feelings, which made me even madder.
As a kid, I always felt a little troubled because of my size.
But then I learned that size didn't define me. If someone insulted me, it always boiled down to their own insecurities. Esther obviously didn’t like the fact that Cade was with me and not her.
“I’ll get us an Uber,” he said. “Do you want to go to my place?”
“Sure.” I couldn’t tell if Cade had just brushed off the whole encounter or was hiding his take on the whole thing.
A couple minutes later, we were already inside a car. I was quiet during the drive, completely pissed. Who did she think she was? I hated that it affected me so much. Esther tried to embarrass me in front of Cade. That was plain cruel.
I'd always been confident, especially after graduating.
Then again, perhaps my confidence had also stemmed from the fact that there were fewer bullies in adulthood.
In high school, no one had a filter; they said whatever they wanted, even if it hurt people.
But grownups usually had better manners, except for this bitch.
Don't react like this, Meredith. Someone else's opinion of you doesn't diminish your worth.
But no matter how much I repeated that in my mind, I couldn't help but think about the fact that Cade used to go out with someone who looked like a model.
Oh God. I'm not just jealous. I'm drunk jealous.
Cade moved closer to me. “Are you okay, there, drunk girl?”
I nodded, pressing my lips together. I kind of wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.
“Why so silent?”
“I’m afraid I’ll make a fool of myself,” I whispered.
Where did that confession come from?
He winked, interlacing his fingers with mine. “Got it. Then let’s go home.”