Chapter Seven
SPENCER
Ben slept badly that night. He woke up every hour.
The result was that we were both exhausted the next day.
The difference was, he could sleep in, but I couldn't. At seven o'clock, I came down with him in my arms to the living room.
I moved him so that he rested his nose in the crook of my neck.
It seemed to be the place he liked most. He wiggled against me.
"Yeah, that's right. You like it there, huh?
You feel safe, buddy. You and I are going to be just fine.
You'll see." I loved this kid more than I could’ve ever thought possible.
You hear parents say I would die for my child, and I used to think, well, yeah, of course you would.
But now I really got it. I would do anything for Ben—anything.
I was constantly studying books, but Ben did something every day that I hadn't read about anywhere, and I felt at a complete loss. Like I was failing him. Last night, he wouldn't sleep at all when I put him down in his bassinet, so I’d thrown in the towel, and I kept him in my arms the whole night.
I canceled a few of the calls I had scheduled, and I told Agatha not to come until late in the afternoon.
Maybe it was better that I didn't go into the office anyway.
Naomi was stopping by to see Ben at two o'clock.
She usually came on Fridays and Tuesdays, though she occasionally dropped by on other days.
If it wasn't for Ben, I would never have seen her again, not after how things ended between us. But she was Ben's mom, and I was determined to make an effort.
She arrived at half past two, and she stomped inside with an exasperated huff. "Swear to God, I'm going to just Uber the next time I come here. I don't know why I can never find any parking." She stared at me. "You don't look so good."
"Ben had a rough night."
"Can't you get a night nanny too or something?" she asked as she glanced at her son. He was currently sleeping in the stroller.
That pissed me off. "I happen to like spending time with our son. If I could, I’d be with him all day too.”
“Right…”
“I wouldn't wake him up if I were you," I said.
"Okay. I prefer it this way, to be honest. At least he's quiet. I never know what to do with him when he's awake."
A vein pulsed in my temple. “Make an effort. That’s what you should do.”
"Aren't you going to make me a drink or something?"
"No. You're here to see Ben, and that's it."
"Oh, get over yourself, Spencer. Gregory and I are in a relationship."
I glanced at Ben, hoping our voices wouldn’t wake him, but he was fast asleep. “I don’t give two fucks who you’re seeing. But the way you took off and then simply dropped Ben at my doorstep isn’t something I can just get over."
"Look at you, you're a good dad, and I honestly don't think I could have coped doing all this.”
“You didn’t even try,” I reminded her.
She huffed again. "Well, if he's asleep, it doesn't make much sense for me to be here, does it?"
"He usually only naps about one hour at a time."
"But I can't wait that long. I'm meeting Gregory for drinks."
My jaw ticked. “Your priorities are fascinating. Why do you even bother?”
She rolled her eyes. "I'll see you next Tuesday. By the way, why isn't the nanny here?"
What the hell did I ever see in Naomi?
"Since I was going to work from home, I told her there was no need for her to be here, so she’s coming later in the afternoon.” And that was because I had plans with Grandmother this evening.
"I mean, suit yourself. See you," she said before taking off.
Naomi grated on my nerves, but I intended for Ben to grow up with his mother involved in his life. But I wanted what was best for my son, and maybe a relationship with a mother who wasn’t interested wasn’t a great idea. Time would tell.
Agatha arrived a few hours later. "How is the little one?"
"He napped a lot during the day, but he seems active now," I said as I handed him into her arms. Agatha was a lifesaver. "I've got to go. Call me if you need anything.”
"Oh, you have fun. Ben and I will enjoy ourselves too," she cooed.
I couldn't believe that a woman I paid to take care of Ben was showing him more affection than his own mother. I really needed to think this through with Naomi. I kissed Ben on the head and told him to be good as I stepped out the door, got into my car, and drove out onto the road.
I was heading to my grandparents’ house to pick up my grandmother for dinner.
A few months ago, my brothers and I decided to take turns going to the city with her, primarily to get her out and about so she wasn’t cooped up at home all the time.
I arrived in front of their house sooner than anticipated.
They still lived in the same house they did when I was growing up.
The exterior was green with white shuttered windows.
The tile had been red when I was a kid, but it was dark gray now.
Being here always took me back to that time.
My grandparents had been a stable force in our lives for as long as I could remember. I was about to call Grandmother and tell her I was early when I noticed a missed call from Gabe, so I marked his number instead. He answered right away.
"Hey, what are you up to?" he asked.
"I'm waiting for Grandmother. We’re going to dinner."
"Oh yeah, that's right. It's your turn. A word of warning—last week she subtly told me that she's got her eye on me. And Maddox too."
"Really? He didn't mention anything to me. But I haven’t seen him since our last tennis match three weeks ago.” Then again, Gabe was the closest to our half brothers.
"She sprang it on him last week. The two of us took her out together.”
“Thanks for the warning. What else did you want to talk to me about?"
"I'm prepping the opening of the bar."
“I remember."
My brother planned to open an actual bar at the distillery, but I’d forgotten his opening day was coming up.
"I want to book some ads in all your publications. Can someone in your ads team send me a cost proposal?"
"I hope that was a joke. You don't have to pay for anything.”
"No, that's not how business is done."
"It is in our family," I corrected.
"Spencer! I want some valuable real estate ad space."
"And you'll get it."
"And I'm late as fuck because I've been micromanaging a few things."
I laughed. "It's good of you to admit. That's the first step in curing yourself."
"No, there’s no cure for me."
“Runs in the family anyway.”
“What’s wrong?”
I usually didn’t share work issues with my brothers. Everyone had their own crises to deal with.
“I need a writer for biographies. The last one quit, and HR isn’t coming up with good solutions. But we’ll find someone eventually. Send me what you want, and I’ll make it happen."
"Thanks, Spencer."
"All right, I better go. I think Grandmother saw the car, because the front door opened."
"Take care, and I mean it. She knows how to use your weaknesses against you, man. And then she has the audacity to say that it's for your own good."
"Gabe. Don't worry, I can take care of myself."
As I got out of the car, I couldn't deny that Grandmother had a point. Hooking Jake up with Natalie and Cade with Meredith was the best thing that happened to those two. It was largely due to Grandmother’s interference.
But despite her best intentions, even she had to know that I was in no position to have a woman in my life—in any capacity.
"Good evening, Grandmother," I said, taking her arm once she stepped off the porch.
"You didn't have to get out of the car for me."
"Yes, I do. That's what you always taught me, right? Manners matter."
She smiled. "You boys make me proud. I do need help with this one," she said as I opened the door to the car.
The Range Rover was very high, but she slid in gracefully. I took her to a Michelin restaurant in the Seaport District. On the way, she filled me in on the friend who came to visit Grandfather. He always made plans when we went out with her.
“Think you can make it to lunch tomorrow?” she asked me as we arrived at the restaurant. The valet parked the car, so we walked straight inside.
“Probably not. I’m most comfortable with Ben inside the house. But in a few weeks, I should be able to join you.”
She invited my brothers and me to lunch almost every other Saturday, but I hadn’t been since I found out about Ben.
“All right. Maybe….” Her voice trailed as she looked around. “My, my, this is fancy.”
I'd wanted to take her somewhere she hadn't been before.
I hadn't been here either, but the place had rave reviews. It was fusion cuisine, as they called it. I hadn’t had time to look at the menu.
The space was a bit too dark and far too loud for my taste, but I'd requested a table in one of their smaller rooms for me and Grandmother.
"I don't want to know what these people think when they see you in this fancy restaurant with your grandmother instead of a beautiful young woman," she said as one of the waiters led us all the way to the back and then the door to another dining area. It was much quieter inside here.
As we sat down, I said, "They probably think I have a very close relationship with my grandmother, which is true." I completely ignored her jab about young women.
"Hello, how are you this evening?" a different waiter said as soon as we sat down. "Do you want to look at the à la carte menu? Or do you want to order one of our tasting menus?"
Grandmother looked straight at me. "You decide."
"We'll take the largest tasting menu," I said. "For both of us. It's just easier."
After he left, she looked at me tenderly. "I appreciate you boys making an extra effort to take me out, but you've got a lot on your plate right now."
I smiled at her. "I can always make time for my grandmother."
"Thank you. So, tell me, how are things really?"
"What do you mean? You know everything that is going on in my life." The waiter came back with an assortment of bread and spreads.